


Twenty Minutes

by PadacklesBitches



Series: Twenty Minutes [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Barebacking, Bathroom Sex, Biting, Bottom Jared, Bottom Jensen, Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Masturbation, Mistaken Identity, Misunderstandings, Musician Jensen Ackles, Night Terrors, Oral Sex, Pierced Jensen, Pining, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rimming, Road Head, Stephen Amell is not a good guy, Switch Jared, Switch Jensen, Texting, Top Jared, Top Jensen, Violence, improvised lube
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-03
Updated: 2017-11-23
Packaged: 2018-11-08 16:25:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 60,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11085399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PadacklesBitches/pseuds/PadacklesBitches
Summary: College AU- After a blind date mix up Jared is pining over Jensen, a boy he’s sure he fell in love with in the twenty minutes they spent talking. It doesn’t take long for them get together, fall madly in love and plan a future together until something terrible happens that could destroy what they have.  Is their love strong enough to keep them together?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *there is a rape scene later on- it is not between Jensen and Jared- if you're concerned you can message me for more information. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you to my beta- my BFF. After seeing a picture of Jensen we had to have a story with “that look.” You encouraged me to write it myself, and I only agreed if you would be my beta. I’ve had so much fun writing this and getting your input and feedback every step of the way. I may have written it, but this is OUR story. I have a feeling this will be the first of many. LOVE YOU!
> 
> To my artist- you came in bottom of the ninth with bases loaded and hit a grand slam! I’m so glad I found you!! Thank you for not only the beautiful art work, but for helping edit the final draft, formatting, and teaching me how to upload everything! I’d be lost without you! 
> 
> To the few friends who read this (or part of it) ahead of time and gave me feedback and encouragement, thank you so much! I appreciate all of the comments and kind words, it gave me the confidence to finish this thing!

 

 

 

 

The coffee house was dimly lit, the indie rock playing softly in the background as Jared stepped in on a chilly Friday December night and took his regular spot, the corner booth by the front window. He nodded at his friend, Gen, the barista, knowing she would bring his coffee over on her break. He had frequented this place for the last two years, once his high school best friend Gen took a job there for extra cash during college. She didn’t get his coffee to him before Jared heard the bell chime. He glanced up at the door and saw the most beautiful man he had ever seen walk in.

This man, or this vision as Jared called him in his head, stood about six foot one, wore dark skinny jeans, black converse, and a Kaleo t shirt a shade of green that rivaled the emerald green eyes framed by thick rimmed black glasses. He wore a black denim jacket that was definitely not warm enough for the colder weather and had on a black beanie that covered his dark hair. His tongue nervously toyed with his labret piercing which drew attention to his sensual full lips. The vision’s eyes darted around the small coffee house, as if he was looking for someone, but was unsure.

 

 

Jared tried to look away, but his eyes wouldn’t cooperate, following this beautiful creature as he moved around the tables. His gaze met Jared’s and a small smile formed on his sinful lips. That’s when Jared blew out the breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Fuck, freckles too,” he muttered noticing the smattering of them across the man’s nose and cheeks. The man slowly approached him, still seeming unsure of himself. Jared’s gaze never left this man’s sparkling green eyes. Jared, who was confident, popular, and well loved was suddenly reduced to a thirteen-year old girl, and was pretty sure he was drooling on himself as the man approached him.

“Are you Jay?” a soft but deep whiskey smooth voice asked nervously.

Jared knew his birthday wasn’t until July -- was this an early Christmas gift? Was someone fucking with him? “Uh, y-yeah?” Jared replied, standing up showing off his solid six foot five frame. The beautiful man’s eyes widened when he saw his stature. Jared’s soft hazel eyes shined like the sun and when he smiled at the other man, dimples appeared in his cheeks that made him all the more endearing to everyone he met.

“Hi. I, uh, I’m Jensen,” the soft voice said, “Chris told me to be here at six, I hope I didn’t keep you waiting.”

Jensen seemed to notice the confusion in Jared’s eyes, and then Jared asked, “Kane?”

Jensen looked a bit taken aback. Had Chris set him up on a blind date with someone who didn’t know he was on one? “Uh, yeah, Kane,” Jensen half stuttered.

“Oh,” Jared said sitting down, waving at the seat across from him as an invitation, not wanting to let this vision, Jensen, go. _Jensen. I like that_ , Jared thought.

Jensen took the offered seat, removing his jacket and unknowingly flexing his muscular arms, causing Jared to almost whimper in the seat across from him. “I’m really sorry, if Christian didn’t tell you about this… I, uh, I guess I assumed you knew, that this was okayed on both sides.”

Jensen went back to worrying the piercing which only made Jared want to lean across the table and pull him in to a devouring kiss. He refrained, somehow, and said, “No worries, Chris was probably just trying to catch me off guard with a beautiful surprise.”

Jared winced as soon as the words were out of his mouth. Most men didn’t like to be called beautiful, but as he looked across the table, Jensen’s cheeks were now a deep shade of red. He noticed a soft smile on the lips of the man across from him, who was also blushing.

“Uh, thanks, I guess,” Jensen nearly whispered.

After a moment of awkward silence Jared started remembering who he was and fell back into being his normal, friendly, welcoming self. He asked Jensen if he was in school -- Yes. A senior. Two years older than Jared. He asked if he worked -- also yes, at the small music store in town, must’ve been where he met Christian.

Jensen relaxed a bit, finding out that Jared, too was into music, that he was a sophomore at the same school, and interned at the school’s radio station for experience in the field. “I can’t sing, I noodle on the guitar, but man, I just love music. Love the way it speaks to me. No matter what mood I’m in I can find a song that fits the moment,” he gushed. Jensen was mesmerized.

He knew exactly how Jared felt, and he admitted, “I can play guitar a bit, and very little on the piano. I sing sometimes, but not really in front of people.” His cheeks pinked up again as he glanced shyly down at the table. The conversation was easy, and twenty minutes in Jared knew he owed Chris a beer, or twelve. Unfortunately, that’s when fate, that bitch, stepped in.

The coffee house door flung open and in rushed Jason, another of Jared’s friends, looking flustered and extremely unhinged. He stood six foot three, was about thirty pounds heavier than Jared, but wore it well. His short curls were covered in a gray beanie and his moss green eyes looked desperate until he spotted his buddy Jared across the coffee house. He rushed over.

“Hey Jay,” Jason greeted, smiling awkwardly down at Jared.

“Hey Jay,” Jared answered back.

“Hey sorry to interrupt you and your friend, but I was supposed to meet a guy, Jensen Ackles, here about twenty minutes ago. Chris set us up on a blind date and on my way here my fucking truck blew a tire. I don’t have Jensen’s number so I couldn’t let him know I would be late. Have you seen someone looking for me?”

The frown on Jared’s face was very telling. Jensen coughed slightly, caught between humiliation and sadness, now knowing that the gorgeous man across from him was not his intended date.

“Uh, I’m Jensen,” he said standing, extending his hand to Jason.

Jason’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head. He looked down at his friend, then at Jensen, recognizing that he had intruded but also noting how gorgeous this guy – his supposed date -- was. He wasn’t going to give up that easily. “Damn man, I’m so sorry. I see you’ve met my friend, Jared. I hope he’s been good to you while you were waiting. I’m so very sorry that I’m late. Can I make it up to you?’’

Jensen smiled weakly, his deep voice soft and extremely unsure. “Uh, sure, yeah. And yes, Jared has been very good to me. I’ve really enjoyed talking to him very much,” Jensen answered flashing a genuine smile, the first since Jason’s appearance, Jared’s way.

“Thanks for keeping him company Jay, I owe you,” Jason said, looking at Jared, who still wore that disappointed frown.

Jared must have realized that he looked like someone kicked his puppy because he quickly stood up and said, “No worries man, Jensen’s a great guy. I’m sure you’ll have a good time.” And being extremely bold, he wrote his number down on a napkin, right in front of Jason and offered, “You ever want to talk music again give me a call or text.” He disappeared to the back of the coffee house, wanting to get out of the awkward situation as quickly as possible.

Jensen put his jacket back on and Jason smiled softly at him. “Wow, you really are as gorgeous as Chris said you were.”

Jensen blushed profusely. “Thanks,” he mumbled, looking down and shuffling his feet awkwardly. Jason noticed the tension and quickly offered to get them out of there and on their date. Jensen glanced back as he walked out of the door and locked eyes with Jared once more who was sitting in the back of the shop now, sulking, but staring at the two men who were on the date he almost hijacked. Jensen snuck a smirk and a wave at Jared, who waved back sadly and watched the man of his dreams exit with his stupid oversized friend.

Gen had watched most of the scene go down from beginning to end, so she brought over Jared’s pick me up drink -- the sweetest drink she could make topped with extra whipped cream. “What’s up gigantor?” she said lovingly as she sat next to her suddenly depressed friend and gently rubbed his back.

“I just met the man I’m going to marry. And he just left for a date with that dumb ass tree, Jason,” Jared muttered.

Gen snorted. “Jason, as in one of our best friends, the nicest guy we know? What was all that about anyway, and who was that hottie?” she asked. Jared knew she wouldn’t go away until he told her everything, so that’s what he did, cursing Jason Fucking Manns under his breath at least a dozen times.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pining, texting, and wanting each other but will Jason be in the way?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will try to upload every couple days. Hope you enjoy chapter two.

 

 

The date started awkwardly, and honestly didn’t get much better. The conversation was okay, they talked music a bit, about school and their families, but it seemed forced. Jensen noted how much easier it was to talk to Jared, how Jared said the goofiest shit just to make him laugh. Even only knowing him for twenty minutes, he felt like he’d known him for years.

He tried to pay attention to Jason. Jason was a really good-looking man, tall -- _not as tall as Jared_ \-- with pretty eyes _though Jared’s were nicer--_. Jensen knew that he was being unfair; if he had met Jason first and never seen Jared, he knew he would probably really enjoy his company, probably find him hot, and really be enjoying his date. Trouble was he met that gorgeous mountain of a man moments before and had already clicked with him. He couldn’t be rude to Jason and call off the date. Not only was it rude to Jason, but also to Christian who set them up. So, here he was.

Jensen could tell Jason was trying. He knew that Chris had probably warned Jason that Jensen was shy, so Jason tried to keep the conversation going which ended up just making it all a bit awkward and kind of one sided. Jensen filled in the places he knew he should, but he really couldn’t stop thinking about Jared.

By the end of the date Jason drove Jensen to his apartment, one he shared with Christian, and sighed. “Dude, I know this night started out awkward, and weird, but… I do like you. Can we maybe try again? You know, now that it isn’t a BLIND date?” Jason asked nervously.

Jensen looked at Jason’s hopeful eyes and couldn’t say no. Besides, he really had been unfair to Jason on this date with his mind preoccupied with a man he had only spent twenty minutes with. “Sure,” he replied, smiling sweetly. He leaned over and placed a soft kiss on Jason’s cheek. “I’m sorry if I was quiet tonight, guess I was just embarrassed by the mix up,” Jensen muttered. They both knew it was a lie, but pretended to believe it.

“No worries,” Jason said smiling at Jensen, “How’s Sunday, for lunch? I know a great place a few blocks from here.”

Jensen nodded and took Jason’s phone punching his number and name in his contacts. “Just text me a time and that sounds good, I’m free Sunday,” Jensen nearly whispered. He stepped out of Jason’s truck and disappeared into his apartment complex. Jason waited until he was inside the building before he left, hopeful, but not stupid.

Jensen had only been sharing the apartment with Christian for about three weeks. Christian’s former roommate moved out and he was desperate for a new one, and Jensen just happened to be looking to move. Chris had known him from both the music shop and around campus, so he offered the spare room. After Jensen checked out the apartment, he quickly accepted. November and December had been the end of the semester, so none of their friends had even been by in weeks, which is why Jared or Jason hadn’t met Jensen until that night at the coffee house.

Jensen opened the door to his apartment and was met by and eager Christian.

“So, how’d it go?” he asked.

Jensen shook his head, chuckling softly. “Well, I met a guy named Jared first. I thought it was my date and really enjoyed talking to him, but then Jason came in and it was awkward to say the least. I’m going out with him again Sunday though… Jason, I mean, just to give it another shot.” He shrugged.

Christian gaped at him, stumbling for a response. “Wait, Jared? You-- wait. What? I thought Jared was dating Tom!”

Jensen’s eyes went dark, disappointment shrouded his face. “He-He’s dating someone?”

Christian could see immediately that Jensen was way more into Jared than Jason, it was clear from the very different expressions his friend had while talking about each of the other men. “Wait, Jen… Jared isn’t the type to cheat. I’ve known the guy over a year, either something happened or he was just being friendly. Guy’s like an oversized puppy and is nice to everyone,” Chris explained.

Jensen’s mood didn’t change. He _needed_ to know. He felt terribly guilty, especially knowing that he had more spark with Jared than he had with anyone, in well, ever. He sulked off to his room and really did attempt to resist texting Jared. He lasted about an hour.

 

 

Jensen could almost feel the contempt in the text.

 

 

Well, fuck. Why did he mention the date? Oh yeah, he’s not an asshole and he wanted to know if Jared was single or not, hoping that would prompt _something_ from him.

__

Jensen tossed his phone on his nightstand. “Well fuck my life,” he muttered as he slipped out of his clothes into his pajama pants. He buried his head under the pillow and wished that his night had turned out differently.

 

 

Jared stared at his phone for a good five minutes. Why had he been such an asshole to Jensen? He decided that he would text him in the morning, something light and friendly, and hopefully all would be forgiven.

He had been utterly disappointed when Jason left with Jensen, he couldn’t lie to himself, but Jason was his friend, and a good one. He didn’t want to be that guy. He needed to step back and just be friends with Jensen. His phone chimed again, it was Christian.

 

 

Jared wanted to ask Christian about his future husband—no, damn it—about Jensen, Jason’s new man. _Jason’s_. If Jason had an ounce of asshole in him he would hate him for this, but seriously, the dude was easily the nicest guy in their group, and possibly the nicest guy Jared had ever known. He wanted to hate him. He just couldn’t.

Jared didn’t sleep much that night. He tossed and turned, dreaming of Jensen’s green eyes locked with his, their bodies entwined, writhing, sweating, feeling every inch of each other. He woke up with Jensen’s name on his lips and his erection tenting in his boxer briefs. He knew it was wrong to think of Jensen as he stroked himself, but he really didn’t care. If all he had was his fantasy, he was going to make use of it. He imagined Jensen’s lips around his long, hard cock, sucking eagerly, feeling the piercing on his lip giving that little extra friction, causing Jared to topple over the edge, cursing as he spilled into his boxers. He stripped off his sticky clothing and cleaned himself off with them, searching for a clean pair to wear. He threw them on long enough to get to the bathroom and not scar his roommate, Chad, for life walking through the apartment naked.

Chad was an interesting character; thin, blond spiky hair, about six feet tall, with squinty blue eyes and he was by far the most inappropriate person Jared knew. They met at freshmen orientation and Jared hadn’t been able to get rid of him since. Not that he wanted to. Sure, Chad could be crude, vulgar, and kind of an ass, but he was a good friend and actually immensely entertaining.

Jared took a quick shower, trying to keep Jensen off his mind. He dressed in light jeans that hung low on his hips and a red pearl jam t-shirt before he threw on a black hoodie on top and headed off to the radio station for his shift. He decided to walk the five blocks there to try to keep Jensen off his mind.

It didn’t work.

He remembered he wanted to text him to show he wasn’t the asshole he appeared to be last night.

__

_Ugh, could I be more lame?_ he thought. But it was a start. He knew that he needed to do some damage control. He at least wanted Jensen as a friend.

When he arrived at the station, he hung up his backpack and went to let his boss know he was there. Well, he wouldn’t call Mike his boss, more like his insane supervisor friend who hooked him up with this awesome internship. Mike was loud, off beat, and extremely horny all the time. Very similar to Chad, but the gay version. He was the life of the party and when he and Chad were together, shenanigans always ensued. He was semi professional at work, as he was the weekend morning DJ. He was perfect for the job of getting people up and moving on mornings when they would much rather sleep.

Jared was lucky enough to land a paid internship and it was what got him out of the dorms and into the apartment with Chad. He had a six -hour shift on Saturday mornings, having one Saturday off a month. He sent Jensen that text before walking into the studio and checked his phone every hour, waiting to get a reply.

“STOP BEING A GIRL!” he scolded himself. Jensen, just like every other college student, was either working or sleeping on a Saturday morning.

His shift started at seven am, so he would be out at one. He figured by noon he would hear something, but nothing. Not a single word yet from Jensen. He had given up hope when he was retrieving his bag and heading out after his shift when his phone chirped.

__

Jared’s smile was as bright as a child’s on Christmas morning. So of course that would mean he would run smack into Jason on his way home. Jason lived a few buildings down from Jared, and it wasn’t uncommon for their paths to cross.

Jason approached him, somewhat uncomfortably. “Hey Jay,” he said, almost a guilty lilt in his voice.

“What’s goin on man? How was the big date?” Jared asked, already sort of knowing from Jensen how it went.

“It was okay, going to take him to lunch tomorrow. He’s really shy, but sweet, and man you saw him. He’s stunning,” Jason gushed.

Jared bit his tongue. He didn’t want to say he knew, and he saw him first, that wasn’t fair. He just nodded politely, forced a smile and said, “Happy for you bro, I’m gonna head in and catch a nap. You going to catch Kane’s show this week?”

Jason nodded, “Wouldn’t miss it, see you there.” And they parted ways. Jared had to remind himself not to wish horrible things on his good friend.

Jared made his way into his apartment and stripped down to his boxers. He crawled into bed for a few hours of shuteye, but first he sent a text to Jensen, feeling only slightly guilty.

 

 

That was weird, why did Jensen think he had a boyfriend? He had been dating Tom but they called it off weeks ago… Oh shit… he hadn’t seen Chris in weeks, he didn’t know. Tom and Jared dated a couple months, but between crazy schedules and little to no spark, they decided to call it quits. There was no animosity there. Jared stayed friends with most of his exes; Gen was living proof of that. She and Jared dated for a year in high school, took each other’s virginities before Jared realized he played for the other team. Sure, there were tears and hurt feelings, but there was never a lack of love between the two, it just shifted into a best friendship that Jared would be lost without.

Jared stared at his phone a moment longer before texting back.

 

 

Jared smiled stupidly at his phone. Who needs sleep when Jensen was being adorable and dorky?

__

Jared knew he was flirting, and crossing lines. He knew it was a shit thing to do to his friend, but he couldn’t stop himself. He couldn’t get Jensen Ackles out of his head.

__

Oh shit. He’s flirting back. Jared smiled widely. His eyes were starting to grow heavy, so as much as he wanted to text all day with Jensen he knew he really did need a nap. That is, after a quick jerk off session, number two of the day if anyone’s counting, starring Jensen and his lips.

 

 

Jared smiled again at the shift into cute nicknames. He was already so gone for Jensen. He quickly relieved himself of the painful erection he had grown just texting with Jensen, then fell asleep just as fast.

Nightmares clouded his sleep. They morphed between picturing Jason and Jensen happy together and a heartbroken Jason watching Jared and Jensen kissing. No matter what it ended up as, it woke him and upset him. He needed to stop flirting with Jensen while he was dating his friend. It was not fair to Jason at all. He decided to get a snack then try to get some more sleep, but found Chad lounging on the couch watching some stupid reality TV show.

“Hey homo,” Chad yelled. Jared greeted him with the finger. “Oh, someone is bitchy. What crawled up your ass? Or do I not want to know? Never mind, I don’t want the mental picture of anything up your ass.” Chad grimaced.

“Wish it was Jensen up my ass,” Jared mumbled on his way to the kitchen. Chad thankfully didn’t hear that. Jared grabbed a beer and some chips and decided to take the spot next to Chad on the couch.

“Seriously Jay, what’s up man? You look upset.” Chad really could be a good friend, so Jared told him everything, start to finish, about Jensen.

“Well, the way I see it, you have two options here. You could snake the dude from Jason—which, yeah, shitty move, but they’ve really only had one date-- or you could just try to find someone else to date to get over him. You only met him last night, it’s not like you’re in love with him.” Chad looked at Jared’s face, then his eyes widened. “Holy fuck, how the fuck are you already in love with him?” Chad shrieked.

“ _No_ , Chad, I’m not in _love_ with him. I just, I don’t know man, can’t stop thinking about him. I feel so guilty but he’s everything I’ve been looking for, and he’s so hot! And man, we just, I don’t know, we connected and I know he felt it too. I _know_ he did,” Jared insisted. He showed Chad the texts and Chad smirked.

“Yeah, I would say Jenny boy is on board with climbing mount Padalecki, but what about Jason, man? He’s your friend and a really good dude. You really want to do that to him?”

Jared huffed and sat back. “No, that’s what sucks. Jason doesn’t deserve it, but technically I DID meet Jensen first.” Jared tried to think of all the ways that it would make it okay to steal his friend’s guy, but he came up with nothing. He knew that he had to let Jensen go, just be his friend, and let Jason have his shot. Jason deserved a great guy like Jensen. If he was gonna lose, at least it was to someone as sweet as him.

Of course, just as he made this decision his phone beeped.

 

 

He knew he was blowing him off, he knew he should just be honest, but he couldn’t. He didn’t want to. He didn’t want that door closed. He sat back on the couch ignoring Chad’s stares, and huffed around the beer he was nursing.

He didn’t hear from Jensen the rest of the day.

 

 

Jensen could sense Jared was blowing him off, and he did have a good idea why. He knew they had crossed a line earlier. He knew Jason and Jared were friends and that Jared really wasn’t a shitty person. So it was probably eating at him just as it was Jensen with this whole Jason mess. Ugh, and mess, really?

This adorable, sweet guy liked him and he was not even giving it a chance because of some possible feelings over another guy he met only twenty minutes sooner. He knew he needed to give Jason a chance, so he set his phone down and didn’t text Jared the rest of the day, even though he really wanted to when the new Kaleo song came on the radio.

The rest of his day was spent working on some homework and lounging around the apartment sulking a bit. Or was he pining? …Or both? He didn’t want to think about it. Chris came home from wherever the hell he ended up the night before and grabbed a cold beer from the fridge. He saw Jensen’s mopey face and grabbed a second.

“What’s up man?” Chris asked.

“Nothing,” Jensen lied, grabbing the beer from Chris’s grasp.

“That look ain’t sayin’ ‘nothing’ bro. Talk to me. Everything okay?”

Jensen sat quietly for a few moments and sipped his beer. He looked at Chris with sad eyes and saw that Chris was looking back at him, genuinely concerned. They had become friends rather quickly and still learning to live around one another, but after another beer and a guitar hero game later, Jensen poured his guts out to Chris about the Jason and Jared situation.

“Well fuck, if I knew that Jared and Tom broke up I honestly would have set you up with him. Figured you two would hit it off, but damn, Jason is one of my best friends, and he’s a good dude bro, I don’t know. This sucks,” Chris grumbled.

“Hence my dilemma,” Jensen said sarcastically tipping his beer for extra emphasis before taking a long pull.

He pulled his glasses off his face and rubbed his eyes. It was getting late and he wanted to try to sleep so he didn’t look haggard for his lunch date the next day. He muttered goodnight to Chris and shuffled off to bed.

His dreams were filled with images of Jared, his soft lips tasting Jensen’s, his long, lean body underneath Jensen as Jensen had his way with him. Jensen dreamed of his lips around Jared’s long shaft, making him moan and squirm. He woke up, his dick rock hard, and he was frustrated. He glanced at the clock: 3:42 AM. Well fuck, he was now wide awake with a raging hard on. He tried to picture Jason as he slid his hands into his soft gray boxer briefs, but the image was of hazel eyes and brown floppy hair and dimples to die for. Miles of tan skin under his body, long, lean legs wrapped around his waist as he fucked hard into Jared’s tight hole. He grunted as he came at the image.

He fell asleep quickly after that, mildly sated and only feeling a little guilty. When his alarm blared at eleven the next morning, Jensen grunted disapprovingly. He looked at this phone, a text from Jason that he would pick him up at twelve. That gave him an hour to get showered and dressed.

When Jason arrived, Jensen was sitting on the couch with frayed faded jeans, a blue v-neck t-shirt, and a gray slouch beanie. His black-rimmed glasses were in place on his perfectly structured face and he toyed with his lip ring with his tongue, his go to nervous tick. Chris had let Jason in, and Jason stepped into the living room smiling sweetly at Jensen. He, too, had on a beanie but his was black. His brown glasses, which he wasn’t wearing on the last date, looked kinda cute on him. He had on a light blue t-shirt and gray zip up hoodie with well-worn jeans.

“Hey,” he said happily. Like seriously, this guy was adorable. Jensen returned the smile, and realized it was genuine. He might not want to sleep with the dude, but he was cute as hell and actually really sweet.

Jason took Jensen to the Thai place a few blocks from Jensen’s apartment, not knowing it was one of Jensen’s favorite places. They ordered lunch and talked, the conversation flowing much easier this time than their previous date. They talked about how Jason might finally take Chris up on his offer to get on stage with him and perform. Jensen encouraged that, having heard Jason singing previously from Chris playing him a few clips. He knew Jason was talented and had an angelic voice.

They discussed Jensen’s classes; he was majoring in English with a music minor. Jason had graduated the year before and was currently working at a call center to make money while he built up the courage to follow his dream and be a singer. Jensen was still shy, reserved, but more engaging in the conversation and genuinely interested in what Jason was saying.

After lunch Jason walked Jensen to his door, both of them feeling better after a more successful second date. Jason bent the few inches down to kiss Jensen softly on the lips, but Jensen pulled away, leaving Jason to kiss his cheek. There was an awkward moment then Jensen cleared his throat, his cheeks pink, and nearly whispered, “So, I had a great time. Uh, we’re having a few people over for the game tomorrow night if you want to come.” He looked down and shuffled his feet.

Jason, who was confused about the failed kiss then the invite, was left wondering if Jensen liked him or not softly said, “I would love to.” He turned and headed back to his truck.

Monday night football get togethers were a fairly regular thing. Christian usually hosted, and now that Jensen was living there, he was co-host. This particular Monday night would be, as Gen called them, the usual suspects: Christian, Jason, Jared, Mike, Chad, and now, of course, Jensen. The guys all showed up to the apartment around the same time, and Jared immediately sought out Jensen. He needed to see his face again. He was already so gone for Jensen. He was like a drug, and Jared needed a fix.

Jared saw him immediately and his heart began to race. He made his way across the apartment to where Jensen was sitting in the black leather recliner nursing a beer. He was staying away from the chaos that was Chad and Mike, who were loudly comparing their latest sexual conquests. His tongue darted out to play with his piercing and Jared willed himself to not get an erection watching Jensen’s mouth.

Jared smiled and Jensen sighed when he saw the dimples from across the room, a shy smile creeping across his lips. His long legs carried him across the room in a few strides and Jensen looked up nervously. His heart started to beat frantically in his chest. Why couldn’t he feel this when he saw Jason?

Jensen softly said, “Hey Jare,” to which Jared inhaled deeply, the voice, soft and smooth coming from that man did things to him.

“Hey Jen,” he replied in a breathy voice.

Jason chose that moment to enter, and bee lined for Jensen, “Hey guys,” he greeted, smiling widely.

“Hi,” they said in unison, trying to not sound disinterested, still having yet to take their eyes off one another, a fact Jason noticed immediately.

The three men made small talk, commenting on the game and the weather, classes, the usual bullshit. It was awkward and Jared realized he was once again intruding on what was supposed to be a date. He cleared his throat and mumbled something about needing to talk to Chad. He found his blond squinty-eyed friend going into way too much detail to an enthralled Mike about the woman he was with the night before.

“Yeah, I heard ya, our walls ain’t that thick,” Jared muttered as he approached. Chad beamed at the idea of a witness to his encounter.

Mike laughed and said, “I don’t know what it is… I don’t want to fuck women but I love hearing about it.” Chad smiled and went on to continue when he noticed the look on Jared’s face, then scanned the room.

“Oh, I see, pouting are we?” he said just a little too loud.

“Fuck, Chad, shut up!” Jared muttered punching Chad’s arm and chancing a glance over his shoulder at Jason and Jensen. Jason was crouched down in front of Jensen and they seemed to be in a private conversation, smiling at each other. Jared’s heart sunk. He hated being jealous of his friend, but damn it, he saw Jensen and thought _MINE MINE MINE!_

The game itself was pretty uneventful. At half time Jared decided to go talk to Jensen again when he noticed Jason and Chris were in a conversation about music. He sat on an ottoman next to the chair Jensen had yet to move from and said, “Hey, havin a good time?”

Jensen chuckled softly, his deep throaty sounds getting to Jared even more. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that? You’re my guest!” The two just took off into conversation, as if there was nothing awkward earlier, and before they knew it thirty minutes had passed and they were laughing and sitting so close together, pointing at their friends and making funny comments about them to each other.

Jason looked over, noticing how the two were like magnets, drawn to each other. A disappointed frown fell on his face. Jared was his friend, and Jensen was the guy _he_ was dating, but he couldn’t deny the chemistry and how easy the two of them made things look. He needed answers, and he knew how to get them. He left his conversation with Chris and approached Jensen.

“Hey, can I talk to you a minute?” he asked, Jensen nodded, looking confused.

“Uh, sure, you wanna head to my room a minute?” he asked innocently.

Jared’s blood boiled. He didn’t want Jason in Jensen’s bedroom or anywhere near his bed, but he knew he had no right to say so. Jason and Jensen made their way across the apartment to Jensen’s room. They stood facing each other and Jason said, “Man, I’m sorry if this is forward, but I just have to know.” He reached for Jensen and pulled him into a kiss. Jensen wrapped his arms around Jason and kissed him back for a moment. He hadn’t seen Jared walk by the room or the heartbroken look on his face or how he rushed back the other direction and told his friends he forgot he had an exam to study for before bolting out the door.

Jason pulled back from the kiss, smiling sadly. “Hm, yeah, I got nothing.” He huffed out a laugh.

Jensen smiled back at him. “Same here. I’m sorry Jay, you’re great, really.”

Jason pulled Jensen into a hug. “I get it, it’s okay, there just isn’t that spark, and you have that with Jared. I can see it.” He saw Jensen’s eyes bug out and quickly said, “It’s okay Jen. I’m not mad. You can’t help who you’re attracted to. I really wanted this to work, you’re gorgeous and cool and fun to talk to, but I’m not feeling it either, so… friends?”

Jensen sighed, “Thanks, yeah, I would really like that.”

They left the room, Jensen in search of Jared, only to be informed he had to leave to study. He decided to let him do his work; he didn’t want to distract him if he had an exam. He figured he would rather talk to Jared in person so he opted to wait for Wednesday night.

He could stand two days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback is encouraged! would love to hear what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> finally. boy sex. enjoy.

 

 

Jared was going out of his mind. He hadn’t heard a word from Jensen, and he didn’t want to start something again while his friend was dating him, but he knew he would see him tonight at Kane’s show.

Chad had just about enough of Jared’s pining and whining and had already left to meet up with Mike and a couple other guys to pregame. Jared didn’t feel like it. He almost didn’t go to the show... but then remembered Chad’s advice: Find a date

So, that’s what he would do.

But who could he ask? Especially on short notice? He flipped through the various contacts on his phone; he wasn’t arrogant but he got numbers all the time. It was just a fact. Many men and women wanted to climb Mount Padalecki, as Chad so eloquently put it. There was that mousy little TA, Rob... he was kinda cute, not really Jared’s type, and really short, but he could work! Especially given that it was such short notice and he knew Rob didn’t get out much but really wanted to be more social and active.

He sent a quick text, which got an even quicker reply. Rob was in, and excited about the date. Rob, tiny, blue eyed, and a little goofy looking. Oh well, it was a date.

Jared picked Rob up at 7:30. They arrived at the bar, already half packed, and most of their friends already there. Gen sat at the end of the table talking to Chad and Mike while Danneel sat on Misha’s lap, since they were a new item and couldn’t keep their hands off each other. His heart sunk when he saw Jensen sitting next to Jason laughing out loud, the way Jared had made him laugh, at something Jason had said.

Blowing out a breath, he decided he needed to suck it up and join his friends. He threw an arm around Rob, who was kind of a nervous guy and flinched a bit in response.

“Dude, I’m not gonna hurt you,” Jared said forcing a smile.

Rob smiled back weakly. “Sorry, I’m just a bit anxious around a bunch of people,” he confessed.

The crew spotted Jared, and then Rob, and looked curiously at the mismatched pair. They walked over to the table and Jared made the introductions. Jared cursed fate again when the only empty seats were across from Jason and Jensen. He awkwardly made his way to their end of the table and sat down, avoiding eye contact with Jensen who he had seen look almost hurt when he walked in. He softly introduced Rob to Jason and Jensen and Jason just stared at Jared dumbfounded. Then he looked at Rob and smiled.

“Well, aren’t you the cutest thing ever,” he laughed. Jared shot a death glare at Jason. Was he seriously hitting on his date with his own stunningly gorgeous date sitting next to him? It was the first time Jared really _looked_ at Jensen. He was wearing a tight black t shirt with a matching black slouch beanie, glasses in place and dark jeans with rips in them. His leather jacket was slung over the back of his seat.

Jared tried not to stare, and tried not to drool. He flagged the waitress over quickly and asked for a double shot of whiskey and two beers.

Rob could sense the tension, which made him ten times more anxious. He fumbled over words when people talked to him, but he kept staring back at Jason and felt some sort of calm wash over him. Jason kept staring at Rob with a wanting look in his eyes, and Jared just didn’t understand what the fuck was happening in front of him. Jensen was reserved, didn’t say much once Jared arrived unless he was spoken to. Finally, he excused himself to the bar with a sigh to get another beer and Jason took that opportunity to lean across the table and say, “Jared you’re a fucking idiot.”

Jared stared curiously at Jason. “What? What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Dude, you want Jensen. He wants you. Go for it man.”

Jared gaped at him, thankful that Rob was too busy getting into the music to hear. “What do you mean, I thought you were dating!” Jared said, exasperated.

“He didn’t tell you?” Jason quizzed.

Jared shook his head. “Tell me what?” Jared asked, confused.

Jason smiled. “He must have wanted to tell you in person... it didn’t work out with us. No spark, but we’re friends. Dude, it’s so obvious you want him. Go for it.”

Jared’s heart was racing in his chest. What. The. Fuck. Now he was here on a date and the man of his dreams, suddenly single, and clearly upset, was standing at the bar alone. Jared looked at Rob, then back at Jason. Jason nodded toward the bar, a signal for Jared to go.

Jared tilted his head toward Rob and Jason winked. “I think I can handle that.”

Jason made his intentions clear. He had a thing for Rob, and it seemed it was mutual after the long glances. Jared nearly sprang from his seat to get to Jensen. He walked up behind him and leaned over his shoulder.

“I think we need to talk,” he said in Jensen’s ear.

Jensen shivered and whispered, “Aren’t you on a date?”

Jared turned Jensen so he could see that Jason had moved into Jared’s unoccupied seat and was talking closely to Rob as they looked longingly into each other’s eyes.

“I think that has been taken care of,” Jared chuckled. He put his body in front of Jensen’s and cupped his face with his massive hands. “I can’t stop thinking about you. Seriously, all the time.”

Jensen worried that piercing and Jared couldn’t resist, he leaned forward and sucked Jensen’s bottom lip into his mouth. Jensen moaned and grabbed the back of Jared’s head, pulling him into a heated kiss. They left the beer forgotten on the bar and when they broke apart Jensen panted, “My place. _Now_.”

Jared was not going to argue.

They quickly drove in Jared’s car to Jensen’s apartment, barely keeping their hands off of each other the whole way. Jensen opened the door, letting Jared in, and as soon as the door was shut behind him he had Jared pressed against the wall.

“I want to fuck you Jared. You want that?” He pulled Jared’s hand over his thick, hard cock. “You want to feel this inside you?” Jensen growled in Jared ear between licks and nips.

Jared moaned and breathed out a, “God, yes.” Jensen, shy, sweet Jensen, was nowhere near shy or sweet when it came to sex. He manhandled Jared to the bedroom and Jared loved every minute of it. He liked that Jensen was almost as big as him, but possibly stronger. He didn’t look it, but the man was solid. He could feel his hard body against Jared’s and felt his full, thick cock press against his leg every time he pressed Jared against a flat surface.

They made it to Jensen’s room and Jensen yanked at Jared’s shirt. “Off,” he said gruffly. They wasted no time removing their clothes and falling into Jensen’s bed  
in a tangle of limbs. Jensen had Jared on his back and he sat back on his heels for a minute, running his hand down the long, lean, solid, tan body beneath him.

“So fucking sexy,” he breathed out, leaning down to take one of Jared’s pink erect nipples into his mouth. He kissed his way up Jared’s body, licking and sucking his neck eliciting moans of pleasure from Jared along the way. Jared’s hands kept moving down Jensen’s back, cupping his tight, firm ass with his large paws and pulling Jensen closer to seek out the friction they both wanted.

“Patience babe, we’ll get to that,” Jensen half chuckled, half moaned feeling Jared’s cock rub against his.

Jensen reached over to his nightstand grabbing lube and a condom and Jared grabbed his hand.

“You clean?” he whispered

“Yeah,” Jensen mumbled between kisses.

“Me too. Lose the condom, need to feel just you.”

That earned a moan from Jensen that had Jared almost come right there on the spot. Jensen kissed his way back down Jared’s rock hard, cut body, licking the sweat that started to pool in places along the way. He took Jared’s huge length into his mouth and Jared’s mouth fell open.

“Oh my fuck,” Jared moaned when those beautiful sinful lips wrapped around his cock. He felt like he was in a dream, nothing had ever felt so good. The wet heat and the plump lips sliding up and down his shaft made him even harder and closer to the edge. He felt the friction of the labret and whimpered, “Jen, please, you keep this up I’m gonna cum.”

Jensen looked up through his long dark lashes and met Jared’s gaze, then flicked his tongue a few times letting Jared know he wasn’t going anywhere just yet, and he planned on making him come more than once tonight.

“Oh _God_ ,” Jared moaned. Jensen went back to work, licking and sucking, then Jared felt a wet finger at his entrance, pushing through and immediately hitting that sweet spot inside of him. “HOLY FUCK JEN-JENSEN,” he shouted as he came hard down Jensen’s throat.

Jensen took every drop, licking those beautiful lips after he pulled off with a pop. Jared, panting, moaned, “Fuck me, Jensen. Fuck me now. Need to feel you.”

Jensen grinned and planted a softer kiss on Jared’s lips, licking across them before leaning back to lube himself up. Using the excess lube on his fingers, he worked Jared open as quickly as he could without hurting him, exploring Jared’s mouth with his tongue the entire time. When Jared was ready, Jensen pushed his legs back exposing his tight hole and lined himself up, pressing in slowly.

Jared moaned, half from the pain, half from the pleasure. Jensen took him slowly at first. They were both big boys and what Jared had on Jensen in length, Jensen had on Jared in girth. It was no easy task to take Jared slowly when all he wanted to do was fuck the man into the mattress. The pain ebbed away until there was nothing left but pleasure on Jared’s face, letting Jensen know it was okay to pick up the pace.

He pushed in hard, pulling out almost all the way before pushing in again, being sure to hit that spot inside Jared on every stroke. In no time, Jared was hard and panting again.

“Jesus Jen, I’ve never, _fuck_ , oh my God, gotten that hard again so quick,” he whispered.

Jensen just smiled and leaned over Jared’s sweat slick body. “There will be a lot of things you’ve never done that we will do together,” Jensen whispered back in his ear. He bit Jared’s neck, just this side of painful, and it shot electricity through Jared’s body. He started rocking up to meet Jensen’s thrusts and Jensen started fucking him hard and fast, pushing his legs up further toward his chest as he took Jared.

“Grab your cock and stroke, I want to watch you cum for me,” Jensen commanded.

Jared took no time following directions and began to stroke his cock as Jensen fucked him hard and deep. It could have been minutes or seconds, but Jared came with a deep shout and Jensen’s name on his lips. That was all it took for Jensen to follow him over the edge, spurting ropes of warm cum deep inside Jared.

Jensen collapsed on top of Jared, breathing hard into the crook of his neck. Jared let out a soft, winded giggle.

“Shy my ass,” he muttered.

Jensen kissed him and said, “Not shy at all with _your_ ass,” then kissed the tip of his nose before rolling off him. He grabbed his t-shirt to wipe them both down and pulled Jared close to his chest, planting a soft kiss on his forehead. Remembering Jared’s words from earlier, Jensen smiled and said, “I couldn’t stop thinking about you either.” It was the last thing he said before they drifted off to sleep, a sweet smile on Jared’s lips.

Morning came all too soon. Jared slowly opened his eyes and reached across the bed only to find that Jensen had vacated his spot. He got up, threw his boxers on, and went out in search of his beautiful man.

He didn’t have to look very hard. He quietly crept into the kitchen and smiled to himself as he watched Jensen in front of the stove frying bacon and swaying his hips as he sang “No Good” by Kaleo along with the radio. He watched for a few moments, enjoying the sexy voice that came from Jensen. He was stunned at how beautifully he sang and before he knew it, he had walked across the kitchen to wrap his arms around Jensen from behind, causing the man to jump and blush when he realized he had been caught.

“Damn Jen, you should sing more. Like a lot more, like all the time,” Jared whispered in his ear, nibbling Jensen’s lobe and eliciting a shiver from the man in his arms.

“Nah, you’re only saying that cuz you like my dick,” Jensen teased.

Jared smiled and said, “It’s true that I do, but your voice? Damn, it just does things to me.” He pressed his body tighter against Jensen so he could feel the effect. Jared’s hard length pressed between Jensen’s asscheeks, causing Jensen to moan.

“Jare,” he whispered, “Breakfast first. Don’t want to burn it.”

Jared chuckled as he moved away. “Fine. Breakfast first, then you for dessert,” he said, his voice low and needy. Jensen blushed, a look Jared would never get tired of seeing. “So, I know we haven’t even had a date yet, and you know, we’ve had sex only one time, but Jen... I can tell you I don’t want anyone else. I want to be with you.”

Jensen bit his bottom lip, trying to hide his smile. “I, uh, yeah. Me too,” he whispered. He couldn’t believe he had been dating Jason just a few days ago and already was officially with another man. He knew it was fast, and potentially could be a really stupid move. It was impulsive. Jensen was _never_ impulsive, but he couldn’t deny the way Jared made him feel. He knew it just felt right.

They ate breakfast in companionable silence and then cleaned the kitchen together, trading shy smiles and soft gazes. Once the last dish was put away Jared pushed Jensen’s back against the counter. “When will Chris be home?” he breathed out, voice deep and raspy.

Jensen was already wound up, his cock hardening fast in his boxers. “He’s at work until five,” he half moaned.

Jared dropped to his knees, pulling Jensen’s boxers down as he went. “Dessert,” he mumbled before taking Jensen’s length in his mouth. Jensen’s hips bucked instinctively and he had to hold himself back from doing it again as to not choke Jared with his long, wide cock. Jared licked and sucked, twirling his tongue around the head of Jensen’s cock as he worked his way up and down. Jensen moaned in approval and had his hands tangled in Jared’s long soft locks.

Jared opened his throat, taking as much of Jensen as he could when he heard, “Oh fuck, Jare! Jare, baby, I’m- fuck- I’m gonna cum.” He panted harshly above him and Jared sucked a bit harder. With a sharp cry, Jensen spilled into his mouth.

Jared took it all, tasting the bitter fluid that was exclusively Jensen. As he stood, he pulled Jensen’s boxers up and said, “I might need that dessert more often.”

Jensen stood still, trying to regain his composure, his cheeks flushed and he was still panting. He took a deep breath then slammed his body against Jared’s pulling him down into a brutal kiss. He shoved his hand down Jared’s boxers and started stroking him, causing Jared to whimper into his mouth.

Jared was already close to coming just from sucking Jensen off, so with a few flicks of his wrist Jensen had Jared’s hot fluids squirting into his hand and up his arm. He pulled out his hand, washed it in the sink, and pulled Jared back to the bedroom.

“Nap,” he muttered.

Jared allowed himself to be dragged into the bedroom and they cuddled up on Jensen’s soft bed. Jared, as big as he was, somehow ended up with Jensen plastered to his back, his arm thrown around Jared’s waist.

“How in the fuck did I end up the little spoon?” Jared huffed against the blanket.

Jensen chuckled softly against the back of his neck. “You love it,” he teased. And, yeah, Jared kinda did.

They drifted off peacefully to sleep enjoying a lazy morning. Fuck it, they didn’t have class until the afternoon.

 

 

They ended up barely making it to their classes on time, not wanting to stop the make out session they were invested in. They parted ways with one more long kiss and made plans to meet up after their evening classes at Jared’s apartment. Even though they would be seeing each other in a few hours, they couldn’t refrain from texting each other. Jared snuck his phone out in his World Lit class and texted Jensen.

 

 

Jared grinned at his phone before slipping back in his front pocket of his hoodie. He couldn’t wait for his seven o clock class to end so he could be wrapped up in bed with Jensen again.

Time seemed to drag for both of them; they usually enjoyed their classes, or at least enough to pay attention to the lectures or group discussions. Today, though, they both let their minds wander, thinking of each other and how their bodies felt when they were joined.

Finally it was time to head home. Jared stopped for some take out to share with Jensen on his way back to his apartment. He ordered mass quantities of Chinese food and rushed back to his place to await his special guest.

Chad was in his normal spot on the couch when Jared rushed through the door.

“Dude, Chinese, awesome!” Chad smiled. Jared grabbed one container and handed it off to Chad. “This is all you get,” he grumbled.

Chad looked at him with sad eyes as he looked at the container. “But, I mean, even you can’t eat all that!” he whined.

Jared smiled. “Not just for me, Jensen’s on his way over. I need to jump in the shower. If he gets here before I’m out just show him to my room.”

Chad rolled his eyes. “I better not hear all the buttsex,” he complained.

“Oh please, I owe you for all the sex I hear from you all the time, get over it.” He flashed a smile at Chad before disappearing down the hall toward his room. He deposited the bag of food on his desk and grabbed a clean change of clothes and went to shower.

When he was clean, dry, and dressed, he made his way back to his room to find Jensen sitting on his bed, pillow propped up behind him leaning against the headboard. “I don’t know Jare, I think our beds might be tied. We need to test yours out.” He winked and Jared beamed at him.

“First food. We need energy.” He went to the kitchen to retrieve dishes and silverware and grabbed a couple beers. He filled the plates with a variety of food and they ate happily and discussed how the rest of their day went.

“Jen, can I ask you something without sounding extremely gay?” Jared said between mouthfuls.

“Jared, my dick has been up your ass, I’d say you’re extremely gay,” Jensen teased.

Jared threw his napkin at Jensen who let out the cutest giggle. “Anyway,” Jared emphasized with a dramatic eye roll, “We need to go on a real date, officially, so, uh, can I take you out Saturday? It’s my one Saturday off and I have the perfect idea for what to do.”

Jensen smiled at him. “Let me see if I can get my shift switched for Saturday. I might have to work Friday night instead, but Felicia owes me. She might switch. What’s your plan?”

Jared grinned at him. “It’s a surprise.”

Jensen blushed in response. He was never really big on surprises, but for some reason the idea of Jared planning something for him made him change his mind. “Sounds like a plan” his deep voice said softly.

Jensen loved how he felt so at ease with Jared, especially so soon. He’d never had sex with someone so quickly, and he’d never talked as much as he had since he met Jared. He felt safe, more confident, and completely cared for when he was with Jared.

Jensen mesmerized Jared, how he went from soft spoken and shy, to funny and silly. It made him feel good that Jensen was comfortable with him, but he found Jensen’s shy moments adorable. There was nothing about this man that didn’t amaze him.

The most shocking thing to Jared was how Jensen went from shy and nervous to a total animal in bed. He was confident, controlling, strong, and it was the hottest thing Jared had ever seen. Jared hadn’t told Jensen, but typically he’s a top. After the sex they had the night before, he was perfectly happy bottoming for Jensen, it felt right with him.

They finished their dinner and set the plates on the desk. Jared flipped on his TV and cuddled close to Jensen who pulled Jared in close, placing a soft kiss to his forehead. Jensen began rubbing Jared’s arm softly then his hand crept up to play with the hair on the back of his neck, earning a slight shiver from Jared.

“Feels good,” he mumbled, nuzzling his face into the crook of Jensen’s neck and started placing soft kisses there. The night before was hot, eager and needy, this time they wanted to take their time exploring each other’s bodies. Jared’s fingers inched their way up Jensen’s t-shirt and softly stroked the man’s stomach with his thumb. Jensen let out a soft sigh, and then slowly turned toward Jared, looking in his eyes before moving in for a kiss.

Their lips met, soft and chaste at first, before Jensen slipped his tongue over Jared’s lips asking for entrance, which Jared quickly granted. They kissed slow and lazy, hands wandering over each others bodies before Jensen rolled Jared onto his back and covered his body with his own. They made out for a while, revving each other up with licks and nibbles as they worked each other out of their clothes. When there was nothing but skin between them Jensen kissed his way down Jared’s body, taking time to tease each nipple and leave a trail of kisses down to his navel. Jared was already writhing beneath him, a feeling of power Jensen loved.

He pushed Jared’s legs open, kissed his inner thigh, and spread him open. Jared went with it, panting and moaning as Jensen licked his balls and moved lower. Jared couldn’t believe what was happening, no one had ever done this to him before. Jensen’s tongue flicked over his hole and Jared moaned loudly, wanting more. The sound urged Jensen on. He kissed and licked Jared in his most intimate place, slowly working his tongue inside.

Jared couldn’t form words even if he wanted to, the only word he could get out was Jensen’s name and it fell from his lips like a prayer. Jensen began fucking his tongue inside of Jared, whose hands took purchase in Jensen’s short spiky hair. Finally Jared was able to speak, low and sultry he begged, “Fuck me Jensen, I need to feel you.”

Jensen kissed his way back up Jared’s body, first taking a taste of the clear fluid leaking from Jared’s swollen cock. Jared whimpered with want.

“Please. God, please,” he begged.

“I’m getting there, babe. You’re such a slut for my cock. God it’s so hot,” Jensen gasped. He sat up on his heels, pulling Jared closer to him and took the lube from the nightstand.

He slicked himself up and then he lined up his thick heavy cock to Jared’s hole. Jared’s breath hitched as Jensen breached his entrance, once again; he pushed in slow, taking his time so Jared could adjust to the intrusion. Once he was balls deep in Jared, he leaned over him, kissing him deeply and pulled out slowly, almost completely before shoving back in hard and deep.

Jared cried out, “Fuck, oh God, so good!” Jensen hooked Jared’s leg onto his elbow to allow for deeper penetration and fucked him eagerly, finding that sweet spot with every other thrust until Jared was incoherent and panting with ecstasy. Jensen knew at this rate he wasn’t going to last long. He looked down at his long, lean boyfriend and reached down to wrap his hand around Jared’s neglected cock, a steady stream leaking from him already.

 

 

Jensen stroked Jared quickly as he fucked him harder, his own legs starting to shake. He was so close. He leaned further over Jared and his deep gruff voice panted, “Cum for me. I want to see you cum.” He kissed him quick but dirty and lifted up enough to watch Jared’s face as warm ropes of cum splashed over his hand and onto Jared’s naked flesh.

Jensen quickly followed, coming hard and deep inside of Jared. He collapsed on top of him, panting and sweating. “Fuck you’re amazing,” he whispered into Jared’s mouth before kissing him one more time.

He rolled off of Jared slowly, who was still trying to catch his breath and was still at a loss for words. Jensen leaned over, picking up the first thing he could grab --which happened to be Jared’s boxers -- and wiped them both clean. They shimmied under the covers and finally Jared recovered from his post orgasm haze.

“Jensen, on my life, that was the best sex I’ve ever had.”

Jensen responded by planting a few soft kisses to Jared’s neck and cheek, “Me too, Jare, me too.”

They lay there in content silence for a few minutes before Jared said, “So, being that we just had the most amazing sex ever? I think my bed wins.”

Jensen chuckled, a throaty, sexy sound, and pulled Jared to him so their bodies didn’t even have enough room for air between them. Jared had his head on Jensen’s chest, a leg thrown over his, and his arm resting on Jensen’s belly. Jensen’s arm was around Jared, tracing patterns on his naked back.

This felt right. This felt like forever.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mostly fluff. Cute Jared.

Friday was a long day for both Jared and Jensen, as they each had classes and then shifts to work. They sent cute texts to each other when they could, and Jensen did get Felicia, the feisty red head he worked with, to trade shifts with him so he could go on the date with Jared. 

Jared had spent the last couple days planning it. He didn’t want to overwhelm Jensen, but he did want to show him a good time. Friday evening when Jared got home from work he was surprised to see Jason sitting on the steps to his apartment. 

“Hey Jay,” Jared said, smiling. Jason looked up at him and returned the smile.

“Hey, just the man I was looking for,” he said standing to enter Jared’s apartment with him. “So, uh, how are things with you and Jensen?” he asked. 

Jared stiffened for a minute, hoping Jason wasn’t changing his mind and deciding to be angry about losing Jensen to him. “Uh, actually they’re great. I can’t thank you enough, man. He’s really amazing,” Jared answered quietly, eyeing his friend and waiting for his response. 

Jason, thankfully, beamed at him. “That’s awesome Jay! I’m glad it’s working out. I hope we can all hang out and be friends. I just wanted to make sure we’re cool and that you know that nothing happened between Jensen and myself but one kiss, and it’s what made us realize that there was really nothing there. Besides, I saw you two together... It was really obvious you two dug each other.” 

Jason really was a good friend. Jared blushed a bit, embarrassed that he’d thought the worst and from the compliments. “Obvious huh? Sorry man, I feel like a dick, but at the same time he really makes me so happy.” 

Jason patted Jared on the back, shaking his head. “Don’t feel like a dick. I went on two dates with the dude, and he had eyes for you before he even met me. So really, it was meant to be. Besides, I didn’t lose in this whole deal. I’ve been seeing Rob, and man, he’s just the cutest, sweetest guy you could ever meet. We hit it off and I just hope _that_ doesn’t make things weird,” Jason said looking down. 

Jared smiled brightly. “Hell no man! That’s awesome. Rob is a good guy, you two really do make a good match, despite the height thing. That was a bit weird for me... but I think you two could be a great couple.” 

Jason smiled and said, “Yeah, we are taking things slow. We left together Wednesday night and made out a bit, but things haven’t gone any farther than that. It’s cute, he gets really nervous and shy and he doesn’t even see how adorable he is.” Jason gushed and Jared knew the feeling; Jensen had no idea how stunning he was.

“Yeah, uh, Jen and I kinda sealed the deal Wednesday night, and Thursday morning made it official. I know it’s fast, but it just feels so right,” Jared explained. 

Jason laughed and clapped him on the shoulder. “You dirty dog! That’s great though. You guys do make a pretty hot couple, I won’t lie,” Jason admitted. 

Jared blushed a bit; he and Jason had been friends for a couple years and Jason had never admitted he thought Jared was in any way attractive before. They spent the next hour catching up on other things in their lives and it felt good to be able to hang out with Jason again. He told him about his plans for his date with Jensen and Jason gave him some ideas to help. Jared’s phone buzzed shortly after and Jason teased, “Your man?” Jared grinned as he looked at the text.

Jared blushed knowing Jason could easily read what Jensen sent, and by the stifled giggle he heard beside him, he’s sure he caught a glimpse.

Jensen’s reply came quickly.

Jared could not keep the smile off his face.

Jason smiled, nodding over at the screen. “Aww hearts! Aren’t you two so cute.” 

Jared punched him. “Shut up,” he groaned. 

Jason chuckled and shook his head at his friend. They chatted for a few more minutes before Jason stretched and pushed off the couch, telling Jared he had to go. He had an early shift at work, overtime hours he couldn’t pass up and then he had a date with Rob that night. After seeing Jason out, Jared retreated to his room to catch up on some light reading and before he knew it he was half asleep in his bed. He sent Jensen a text to say goodnight.  


Jared plugged his phone in before collapsing back in bed. He was asleep in minutes.

Jensen smiled at his phone. Like Jared, he had a smile plastered on his face most of the last few days. He was nervous about the date the next day, unsure of what Jared had planned, but knowing Jared it would be fun.

He laid in bed and looked at the selfie of him and Jared that they’d taken cuddled up in bed the other night; it was his screen saver on his phone and he looked at it often. He was looking at Jared, smiling up at him, and Jared smiled at the camera. It looked like cartoon hearts were coming out of Jensen’s eyes and he knew it was cheesy, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. He laid the phone on his nightstand after one more glance at the picture and snuggled up in his bed, falling asleep to images of Jared’s soft, hazel eyes.

The alarm buzzed in Jensen’s ear far sooner than he would’ve liked. He grumbled as he slapped at his phone trying to turn it off. In his haste to turn off his alarm off he knocked the phone to the floor and cursed, as he had to force himself awake to turn the damned thing off. He reached down and glared at the stupid phone with one eye open.

It was nine o’clock and he had an hour to get up and get ready for his date with Jared. He finally turned off the alarm and shuffled his tired feet to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. He needed his life fuel to start his day. 

While the coffee brewed he took a quick shower and dressed in a pair of dark jeans that hugged his ass perfectly and sat low on his hips. He grabbed a green v-neck t-shirt, his leather jacket and his favorite black slouch beanie, then he put his glasses on and made his way back to the kitchen to pour himself some coffee. He was midway through his second cup when he heard the knock on his apartment door. He smiled to himself. Jared, eager as ever, was fifteen minutes early. He opened the door and Jared leaned down to place a chaste kiss on Jensen’s lips.

“Good morning,” he smiled and held up a box of donuts, “Brought breakfast,” he said happily. Jared stepped back taking the sight of Jensen in and sighed heavily. “Damn Jen, you, fuck, you look so hot.” He exhaled dramatically. 

Jared wore lighter jeans that fit him perfectly, a white t-shirt with a blue and green plaid flannel buttoned halfway up over it. Jensen smiled back at him. 

“You do too, as always,” he said kissing Jared softly again and taking the box of donuts from his grasp and opening them. They each took a sugary treat and ate in comfortable silence for a few moments. “So, what do you have planned today?” Jensen asked. 

Jared just grinned at him. “You’ll see,” he replied. They finished their donuts and coffee; Jensen had poured Jared a cup before they dug into the donuts. Once they cleaned up, they headed out for their daylong date.

Their first stop was Griffith Park. It was a Saturday morning so there were a lot of families with children playing in the park and a few groups of people throwing a frisbee or a ball of some sort. Jensen smiled. “You’re taking me to the Hollywood sign?” 

Jared just grinned back at him. “Well, that’s just one thing.” 

They made their way up the path to hike up the mountain to get a closer view of the famous landmark. Jensen chuckled to himself, thinking how cute it was that Jared just had to take him there. They held hands as they walked and talked and when they reached the top of the mountain Jared took out his phone and took a few pictures. There was one of Jensen standing in front of the sign, you could only get so close so you could see the whole thing behind him, and he took a selfie of them with the sign behind them. They looked down over LA, admiring the view. Jensen made the comment that it was so peaceful up there looking down, far different than being surrounded by so many people below.

They enjoyed the view quietly after that for a few moments before Jared took Jensen’s hand and said, “Ok next stop,” and they walked back down the mountain and back to Jared’s car. The short drive to Hollywood boulevard was filled with comfortable conversation and laughter. 

Jared parked at a meter and put in enough coins for an hour. He again took Jensen’s hand as they began walking down the sidewalk. “Walk of fame,” Jensen said smiling down at the stars as they crossed over them. They stopped for some pictures, getting one of Jensen standing on Elvis Presley’s star doing the lip thing, and one of Jared striking a Michael Jackson dance pose over his star. They took a few more silly pictures over different celebrities stars, laughing at each other and pausing for a kiss or two along the way. 

They made their way down to Grauman’s Chinese theater. It was busy, being Saturday, and Jared could feel the tension start to rise in Jensen. He pulled him close, wrapping his arm around him and felt the stress begin to melt away. He loved that Jensen felt safe with him, that he could calm his nervous demeanor. They looked at the hand and footprints of celebrities long passed and even took a few pictures with their hands in the molded cement.

They walked around a while, stopping in some of the shops along the way. The crowds began to grow larger and Jared knew Jensen wouldn’t be comfortable so he took them to the next stop, lunch at Jerry’s famous deli and they ordered burgers and shakes. Jensen kept flashing shy smiles at Jared and while finishing the last of his shake he whispered, “Thanks Jare. This has been awesome.” 

Jared smiled, dimples out in full force, and Jensen couldn’t resist. He reached across the table and poked his finger in one of Jared’s dimples. 

“Sorry, couldn’t help it, been wanting to do that since we met,” he chuckled. 

Jared laughed. “I get that a lot,” he admitted. Jared informed Jensen that their date was far from over. They went to Sunset Boulevard next, and Jared gave Jensen the music history of the bars on the strip. Jensen knew a lot of it, but let Jared tell the stories; it was entertaining and sweet that he thought to bring him here, where the music history was deep. By the time they got to the Whisky, possibly the most historic of the bars, it was nearing five. 

They stepped in for a drink, and decided to stay for the band that was playing. It was a tribute band, but they didn’t care. They were having so much fun spending time together it could have been Justin Bieber up there… Okay, that was maybe pushing it, but regardless, they were having a great night. 

They left the Whisky fairly early and headed back to Jensen’s place. They stepped into the apartment to find Jason, Christian, Rob, and another friend, Steve, all playing guitar and just having a jam session in the living room. 

“Jenny, my boy, why don’t you and Jared grab a beer and join us!” Chris shouted, clearly several beers in. 

“Call me Jenny again and I will bust that guitar over your head,” he grumbled and Jared laughed. Jensen went and grabbed two beers, for him and Jared and they found a spot on the couch, practically sitting on each other, to enjoy the jam session in progress. 

Jared leaned over to Jensen. “Why don’t you sing one?” he asked, being sure to put his puppy dog eyes to use. Jensen blushed, he was around friends, so he was more comfortable, but he was still very shy about his voice. Only Jared and Christian had heard him sing. 

“Yeah Jen, sing one!” Christian goaded. Jason passed his guitar to Jensen with an eyebrow raised. Jensen reluctantly took the guitar and started fingering the strings, getting the feel of the instrument. 

He leaned over to Jason and whispered something in his ear and Jason smiled, “Yeah, let’s do it,” he said. 

They talked quietly for a minute, deciding who would sing which part, and then Jensen started to strum the guitar. Jason sang the first verse of Tennessee Whiskey, and Jensen took over at the chorus. The room, other than the melodic heaven being basked on them, was silent, everyone in awe of the two men singing. Jensen took the second verse, and Jason the second chorus, then they harmonized the last chorus together. Once finished the stunned silence erupted into cheers. Jared sat staring at Jensen, which made Jensen blush and unsure, he couldn’t read the expression on Jared’s face. 

“You okay, Jare?” he asked in a hushed voice. 

Jared leaned over, whispering in his ear, “I think we need to go to your room. I’m so fucking turned on right now I can’t even think straight.” 

Jensen threw his head back and full body laughed. “Baby, there is nothing ‘straight’ about you.” With that he handed Jason back the guitar and pulled Jared to his bedroom, hearing the catcalls from behind them.

They barely made it to the bedroom before Jensen had Jared pushed up against the closed door ravishing his mouth. Needy hands explored each other’s bodies as they tore off each other’s clothes. Jared, who was three inches taller than Jensen was lifted easily and thrown on the bed, Jensen’s naked firm body covering his. Jared whimpered as Jensen toyed with his body, sweat beading on his neck and chest. Jensen grabbed the lube, slicked himself up and rolled them over so he was on the bottom.

“Ride me,” he ordered. 

Jared’s breath hitched as he straddled his gorgeous boyfriend. He lined himself up over Jensen’s throbbing cock and slid down slowly, watching the look of ecstasy on his lover’s face. Once he was seated he grinded his hips a few times, earning moans of appreciation from Jensen. Jensen’s strong hands grabbed Jared’s waist and lifted him a bit, encouraging him to move. Jared took the cue and began rocking his body up and down, swirling his hips causing Jensen to shout a string of curses of “Holy fuck” and “Feels so fucking good.” 

Jared loved the view, Jensen’s head thrown back, mouth open, panting, wanting. He leaned down and sucked a bruise in the crook of Jensen’s neck, causing Jensen to grip Jared’s hips and hold him still, fucking up into him hard and with everything he had. Jared’s moans made Jensen even hotter. He flipped them over and began pounding Jared into the mattress, Jared, shouting out his man’s name over and over until he spilled, untouched all over their bellies.

Jensen was soon to follow, Jared’s name on his lips. Jensen collapsed on Jared’s body, sweaty and sated, placing delicate kisses over his cheeks and lips. Jared softly chuckled, “You are an enigma Jensen. So shy and quiet, then behind closed doors…. Damn.” 

Jensen blushed, and muttered, “Don’t hear you complaining behind closed doors.” 

Jared beamed at him. “I don’t complain, I wouldn’t complain about shy you or sex God you cause I really enjoy both.” 

Jensen chuckled at the sex God comment and kissed the tip of Jared’s nose before he rolled off of him. They cleaned up and curled up with each other falling asleep peacefully in each other’s arms.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> song that "Jensen" writes for Jared is actually Without You by Jason Manns. Lots of schmoop and cute J2 this chapter.

Christmas was coming up, which typically meant everyone vacated and went home to see their families. This year Jared opted to stay in LA instead of heading home to Texas. He was taking a winter course and it just felt like too much to leave. The station was running over break, but barely, so he only had a few hours a week plus the one class to look forward to. Jensen had planned on going home, but upon finding out that Jared wasn’t returning to their native Texas, he decided he wanted to surprise Jared and stay for their first Christmas together.

They said their goodbyes, Jared hugging Jensen extra tight and nearly crushing bones. He whispered, “I’m gonna miss you, I hate that we have to go two weeks without seeing each other. Just call me when you land, okay?” 

Jensen smiled, devilishly, and agreed before leaving Jared’s embrace. He went back to his apartment and packed his bags, they just weren’t for a trip to Texas. He grabbed the couple of small gifts he had purchased and put them on top of his bag and then waited. Around the time he was supposed to land, he texted Jared.

Jensen smiled and with his bags in tow headed out the door. He stood on the landing in front of Jared’s apartment ten minutes later and pulled out his phone. 

About a minute later the front door flew open and Jared’s jaw dropped. “JEN! Seriously!” he exclaimed, pulling the man into his arms. “I thought you were in Texas!” 

Jensen chuckled softly in his ear, “Change of plans, decided to stay and spend the two weeks with you instead. Hope that’s okay.” 

Jared held him tighter. “ _Of course_ its okay! God I was missing you so much already, this is the perfect gift Jensen, really.” 

Jensen pulled back and raised his eyebrow. “You think I’m that cheap? This isn’t your gift; this was for both of us. I have your gifts in my bag, but you can’t have them until Christmas morning,” he said yanking the bag back from Jared’s grasp and laughing at the puppy dog face looking back at him. “What are you, two?” 

Jared smiled, shaking his head. “I’m so happy you’re here.” 

They made their way into the apartment and set Jensen’s bags in Jared’s room. Jensen’s plan was to spend as much time locked in that apartment with Jared as possible, and Jared more than happy to oblige. 

Christmas morning Jared woke Jensen fairly early, which normally would have made him grumpy and pouty, but Jared had a cup of coffee waiting, a Christmas movie playing on the big living room TV, and a few gifts labeled **To: Jensen, From: Santa** with a stocking full of goodies for him. Jensen immediately smiled. His smile grew larger when Jared handed him his coffee.

Jensen had laid Jared’s gifts out the night before and after Jared was asleep he had crept out and put a stocking full of goodies under the tree from Santa. It was funny how they thought alike more often than not. They shared a sweet, chaste kiss and sat on the floor like children handing each other gifts. Jared insisted they went through their stockings first like he did as a kid. Jensen agreed and they pulled out the assorted goodies. Jared was especially happy to see a lot of candy in his stocking, and at the bottom a tube of lube, which made him smile

“Guess we are running low over here.” He smirked and winked at Jensen. 

Jensen loved the assortment of goodies in his own stocking, guitar picks, strings, candy, gummy bears, and also, lube. They both laughed and Jensen said, “Jare, the strings and picks are cool and all, but you know I don’t actually own a guitar, right? I just play around on Christian’s.”

Jared smiled brightly and pulled out a beautiful acoustic guitar with a big red bow from behind the couch. 

Jensen gasped, “Holy shit Jared. That’s a fender! That’s way too much!” 

Jared smiled at his boyfriend. “Jen, Chris helped me find it. It was a great deal and I really wanted you to have it. You love to play, you should have your own.” 

Jensen threw himself on Jared smothering him in kisses. “You’re the best boyfriend ever! You know that!” 

Jared welcomed the armful of Jensen and kissed him back eagerly. Jensen peeled himself off Jared and handed him the gifts he bought him. There were a couple of books Jared had mentioned wanting and a gift card for his iTunes account, then he opened a beautiful silver watch. Jensen had known Jared wanted it, anytime they had gone shopping or he had seen a commercial he had said how much he loved the watch. But it was expensive and he’d never felt there was reason enough to warrant spending the money.

“Jen, my God, you’re going on about the guitar, and- How did you? I mean, this is really too much,” Jared said, stunned. Jensen smiled slyly. 

“Jared, one thing you’ll learn about me, I work because I want to, not because I have to. Very few people even know because I live off what I make at the store, but I have a trust fund. I only use it when I really want or need something, or if something is important to me. I’m saving most of it for when I’m ready to buy a house.” He shrugged, fidgeting uncomfortably. “When you grow up being the shy, gay, rich kid you learn to save your money. It’s not like I had much of a social life or anything to spend it on.” 

Jared hugged Jensen tight. “Just because you have all this money doesn’t mean you need to buy such expensive gifts, Jen. This watch, my God, I mean, I love it! But fuck, you could have gotten me one from Wal-Mart and I would love it because it was from you.” 

Jensen huffed, “I could say the same thing about the guitar, so let’s just enjoy our presents and stop talking about cost. Cause Jare, you’re worth it to me. Okay, now shhh.” He placed his lips on Jared before even giving him a chance to reply. 

They kissed slowly and lazily, exploring each other’s mouths. They spent the rest of the day curled up on the couch together watching a Christmas movie marathon, they cooked dinner together, then after, Jensen played his new guitar and sang softly to Jared. It was easily the best Christmas either of them could remember. 

They enjoyed the peaceful two weeks in Jared’s apartment before Chad came back and life got back to normal. They had a New Year’s get together at Jensen’s and the whole gang celebrated their new beginnings together. The spring semester began in early January and they had gotten accustomed to a routine. Twice a week they stayed at Jared’s, twice a week at Jensen’s, then the other nights they needed to make each other stay home and work on the homework that was often neglected when they spent the night together and ended up naked instead. 

Valentine’s Day was approaching and they had nothing planned just yet. Jared was working hard, and even though he wanted to do something nice for Jensen, the days slipped by. Before he knew it, Valentine’s Day was upon them. 

He arrived at Jensen’s apartment and knocked on the door and Jensen greeted him with a smile and let him in. He told Jared that Christian was gone for the night and Jared smelled something delicious coming from the kitchen. He walked in to find the room dimly lit only by candles and two places set at the small kitchen table. Jensen had cooked an amazing steak dinner, with baked potatoes, green bean casserole, and a salad. He had red wine already poured and the plates prepared. 

Jared’s mouth watered and he whispered, “Jen, I can’t believe you did all this, I… I’m so sorry I didn’t do anything special.” 

Jensen blushed and smiled at him. “I didn’t do this expecting anything Jare, and I wanted to do this for you, for us.” He placed a gentle kiss on Jared’s lips and pulled out the chair for him to sit. 

They ate their meal fairly quietly, enjoying the food and each other’s company. Jared moaned throughout his steak dinner, sounds that went straight to Jensen’s dick. Once they were done Jared insisted on doing the dishes, so he got to work as Jensen went to the living room for part two of his Valentine’s plan. 

When Jared met Jensen in the living room Jensen was sitting on the couch, the lights low, and his guitar was in his hands. There was a heart shaped box of chocolate along with a variety of Jared’s favorite candies, gummy bears, rainbow stripes, and other treats. Jared gaped at Jensen.

“Wow, Jen. Thank you, I, uh, man, I feel like the world’s worst boyfriend right now,” he said a nervous chuckle escaping his lips. Jensen patted the spot on the couch next to him.

“Jared, I already told you, don’t worry about it. It was just dinner and some candy, it’s nothing.” Jensen brushed Jared’s hair out of his eyes and pressed his lips to his forehead. He sat back, situating the guitar on his lap and began strumming softly. “Uh, I. I kinda have been working on something; so, this is really your gift. I wrote this about you, and us.”

Jensen’s blushing never got old, and the redness on his face right then made Jared want to kiss every inch of his body. Jensen began to play, and sing, to Jared making Jared tear up almost instantly. Jensen strummed the guitar playing the slow melody and began to sing the words he wrote for Jared:

_Sunlight falls across your back and I can’t move, I can’t react._  
Do you know what you do to me? You’ve got me completely  
And not for long I’ve been with you but I feel like I was made for you  
Do you know what you do to me? If you could love me completely.  
I can’t explain how I feel about you; all I know is that I can’t live without you.   
Without you.   
Without You….  
I couldn’t think of what to say  
Was complicated to see you with him everyday  
People said that I should just let you go  
But I failed cuz I can’t and I want you to know  
Because you fill my heart with joy  
And cuz you made a man out of this boy  
And cuz you’ll forever be on my mind  
And cuz you forever hold my heart 

Jensen barely set the guitar down before Jared was on him. He thrust his tongue into Jensen’s mouth and Jensen opened willingly, their tongues tangled together like a choreographed dance, moving in perfect rhythm. Jensen took over, dominating the kiss and Jared as he pushed him back against the couch. Their clothes were removed rapidly and Jensen sat back against the arm rest and pulled Jared on his lap.

“Like this. Want you to ride me,” he demanded. Jensen had been prepared and grabbed the lube off the end table, slicking himself up as Jared positioned himself above Jensen. He slid down slowly, both of them gasping out a moan. Jared swiveled his hips, earning another deep moan from Jensen’s sensual lips, which Jared nearly devoured in a deep kiss. 

Jensen’s hands gripped Jared’s thin waist tight and lifted his body up and down as Jared grinded and rocked his body on top of Jensen’s. They were both sweating and panting, calling out to each other as if there was no better sound than their names falling from the other’s lips. Jensen reached between their writhing bodies and started stroking Jared, knowing it would push him over the edge in no time. 

A few twists and strokes and Jared was cursing and crying out as he spilled his seed all over Jensen’s chest. Jensen was soon to follow, filling Jared up. Jared slowly lifted off of Jensen’s softening cock, feeling his cum dribble down his thigh. He wrinkled his nose. “Gross,” he laughed. 

Jensen grabbed his discarded shirt and wiped them both clean, then pulled Jared down for one more lingering kiss. “You’re amazing Jen, seriously. You’re the best boyfriend in the world. I love you so much.” 

Jensen buried his face in Jared’s chest, Jared knew he was blushing again. “I love you too,” Jensen said, his voice muffled. 

Both men got up and cleaned up their mess and headed to the bedroom. Jared’s eyes grew wide when he saw rose petals scattered on the bed with a card made out to Jared. His eyes filled as he opened the card, tears spilling down his cheeks at the words written inside. It was the song lyrics that Jensen had written. He’d made it into a Valentine’s card and a photo of the two of them was the front of the card. 

Jared looked at Jensen with red, wet eyes and a soft smile. Jensen smiled back. “Round two?” he whispered, kissing Jared’s collarbone, giving Jared chills. 

“Fuck yes,” Jared rasped. Jensen pulled back and looked Jared in the eyes.

“This time, I want _you_ to fuck _me_ ,” he said shyly. 

Jared was pretty sure he had died and gone to heaven. “I won’t say no to that offer!” he replied, a wide smile spreading across his face. 

They tumbled onto the bed and Jensen, his voice deep and husky, whispered in Jared’s ear, “Don’t think because you’re topping that means you’re in charge.” 

Jared bit his bottom lip and chuckled, “Bossy bottom.”

Jared’s soft full lips kissed Jensen’s neck and collarbone as his large strong hands roamed all over Jensen’s firm sculpted body. He teased Jensen’s nipples by tracing over them slowly with his fingertips then his tongue earning a sigh from Jensen. Jared wanted to take his time, cover every inch of Jensen’s body with his delicate touch or his lips. 

Jensen was getting impatient, gripping Jared’s shoulders and pulling him so his body covered him. “Pushy,” Jared mumbled between kisses. His lips sought out Jensen’s as he slid his body between Jensen’s open legs. Jensen bucked up, urging Jared to hurry the fuck up. Jared tried to stifle a laugh in between kisses and nibbles along Jensen’s collarbone. Jensen grabbed the lube off the nightstand and thrust it into Jared’s hands. 

“Okay, okay.” Jared smiled. He slicked himself up and hooked Jensen’s leg over his arm to spread his legs wider. Jared pushed in slowly and Jensen tensed a bit, not used to the intrusion. Jared paused, allowing him to get comfortable. Jensen nodded and Jared continued to slowly press in, deeper until he was fully enveloped by Jensen. 

He stilled for a moment, until Jensen whispered, “Move.” Jared thrusted long hard strokes into Jensen. Jensen tightened his legs around Jared’s waist and pulled him down into a deep, dirty kiss. They moaned into each other’s mouths as Jensen swiveled his hips beneath Jared and bucked up at Jared’s thrusts, causing Jared to go harder and deeper. Jared began to lose control as he pounded into Jensen, which was Jensen’s goal. 

Jensen gripped Jared’s body with his arms and legs and fucked up onto Jared’s long thick cock. Jared reached between them and wrapped his long fingers around Jensen’s throbbing cock. The sound that came from Jensen was guttural, deep and dirty and with the second stroke he lost it, coming between their bodies. 

Jared’s dick pulsed inside Jensen, emptying all of him. He collapsed, sweaty and sated on top of Jensen. 

“Get offame giant,” Jensen chuckled a moment later. 

Jared hissed when he slid from Jensen and fell next to him. “We should shower,” Jared said looking at the mixture of sweat and cum covering his belly up to his chest. 

Jensen giggled. “Probably,” he said, then leaned over placing a chaste kiss on Jared’s lips. “That was amazing Jay, need to let you top more often.” 

Jared’s dimples were deep and smile wide. “I wouldn’t complain, but I don’t complain no matter what, sex with you is the best I’ve ever had in my life.” 

Jensen blushed. “Same here.” He looked at Jared’s mossy green eyes and whispered, “I love you Jared. Happy Valentine’s Day.” 

Jared pulled Jensen down into a sticky, wet, but loving embrace. “I love you too, Jay. So much. You have no idea how lucky I feel to have you. You’re the best boyfriend ever and, I don’t know man. I know it’s sappy, but I know this is it for me. This is forever.” 

Jensen held Jared tighter. “’S not sappy, it’s true. Me and you Jared. Forever.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen's bday surprise. more schmoopy J2.

Jensen’s birthday was fast approaching and Jared had big plans; he needed to make up for Christmas and Valentine’s Day. Jensen had taken the lead and made them Jared’s best Christmas and Valentine’s Day ever, so Jared needed this to be Jensen’s best birthday to date. He didn’t tell Jensen what was planned and it was driving Jensen crazy.

With all of the hints he was dropping about wanting to go, Jensen had hoped that Jared would get them tickets to see Kaleo who was playing the night before his birthday. But to his disappointment, Jared told him the concert had sold out within the first hour. Jensen pouted for a while and then let it go. 

Since his birthday was on a Friday, he knew Jared would plan some sort of get together. It was Thursday, however, that had Jared knocking on his door at six in the evening with a big dopey smile on his face. “Hey babe, didn’t expect you tonight.” Jensen smiled. 

Jared beamed at him and asked, “Do you trust me?” 

Jensen’s eyes widened. “Of course, why?” Jared just smiled at him, grabbed his hand and told him to come on. He grabbed Jensen’s jacket on the way out and they headed to Jared’s car. 

As they approached the venue, Jensen’s heart started racing. “Jare, what the- how?”

Jared grinned at him. “I’ve had the tickets since before they went on sale, Jen. Got them through work. Front row seats and we have meet and greet backstage passes for after.” Jensen sat dumbstruck for a minute, snapping out of it when Jared opened his door. “Happy birthday Jensen. This is just the beginning. There will be more tomorrow, and Saturday; it’s a three-day event!” 

Jensen lunged at Jared, causing him to stumble back a bit and kissed him deeply. “I fucking love you so much!” he moaned into Jared’s mouth. 

The concert was amazing. Jared and Jensen cheered and sang along and Jared spent more time watching Jensen watching the band than the actual band itself. He was mesmerized, his beautiful boyfriend looked so happy, a perpetual smile plastered on his face. Jared fell more in love with Jensen by the minute and he didn’t even notice anyone or anything else around him. Once the band finished, Jared escorted Jensen to the backstage area where close to ten people were waiting to meet the band. 

Jensen was so nervous, Jared went and got them a couple shots to help calm his nerves. When the band came out to talk to the fans, they were fun, gracious, and kind. Jared mentioned to the vocalist, JJ, that Jensen was a talented singer and songwriter, causing Jensen to blush a deep shade of red that even Jared hadn’t seen before. 

The guys in the band ended up really liking Jared and Jensen and asked them to stay for a few drinks once the other fans left. Jensen was vibrating with excitement and Jared couldn’t stop smiling at him. One of the band members commented on what a sweet couple they were and that made Jared blush for once. They weren’t being affectionate or even touching, and when Jared asked how he knew they were a couple, the man answered, “It’s the way you look at each other. Only people in love look at each other like that.” 

Jensen smiled shyly at the ground and leaned into Jared when he felt his boyfriend’s arm wrap around him. They ended up having a few more drinks and at the insistence of the band, Jensen took the offered acoustic guitar and played for them. He chose to sing Simple Man, because it was a song everyone knew. He wasn’t going to play anything original. He was far too shy to share his music with _real_ rock stars. By the end of the song, everyone was singing along and the band complimented Jensen on his talent.

“Man, we get a lot of people claiming that they can sing or play, but you actually have a lot of talent,” JJ said. 

Jensen turned five shades of red as Jared beamed with pride. “He’s amazing,” Jared agree with a happy sigh.

They guys were well on their way to drunk and decided to take pictures, one of which they all lifted Jensen up, and he’s laughing, his mouth wide open, and clearly drunk.

The night wound down around two am, and Jared had sobered up enough that it was safe for him to drive them back to Jensen’s apartment. When they got there, arms full of free merchandise from the band, Jensen looked adoringly at his boyfriend and whispered, “Thanks Jare, that was literally the best birthday ever. I love you.” 

Jared kissed Jensen’s forehead. “It’s only been your birthday for two and a half hours Jen, there’s still way more to do. I’m glad you had fun. I had to make up for Christmas and Valentine’s Day somehow.” 

Jensen looked puzzled. “What do you mean make up for? I thought we had a great Christmas and Valentine’s Day.” 

Jared pulled Jensen in his arms. “We did babe, because _you_ did all the work and made it great. It was my turn to do something for you.” 

Jensen buried his face in Jared’s chest, feeling his warmth wrapped around his body that had nothing to do with the lingering alcohol. “I didn’t do those things so you would repay me, Jay. I did them because I love you,” he mumbled into Jared’s shirt. 

“I know that. And I love you, so I wanted to show you by making your birthday special.” Jared kissed the top of Jensen’s head then looked down at his gorgeous man, whose eyes looked up to meet his. 

Jensen kissed Jared softly. “You did. It was perfect.” He kissed him again, with a little more intent.

Jared pulled back after the kiss and said, “And it’s only just beginning.” 

They fell into bed together, trading lazy kisses but both too tired for anything more. They had stripped down to their boxer briefs and lay in bed tangled up together. Jensen heard Jared’s breathing even out and thought he was asleep when he whispered into his lover’s chest, “I’m gonna marry you one day.” 

Jared sighed happily and whispered back, startling Jensen, “Damn right you are.”

Jensen giggled softly and fell asleep wrapped up in the arms of the love of his life.

Jensen woke up to an empty bed. He heard noise coming from the kitchen so he sleepily pulled on a pair of gym shorts and stumbled out of his room to find Christian and Jared talking and laughing, cooking breakfast together.

“Mornin birthday boy!” Christian greeted Jensen, handing him a cup of coffee.

“Mmm,” Jensen said in greeting, more to his coffee than to the two men in the kitchen. 

“Aw Jen, I was gonna bring you breakfast in bed!” Jared whined, “Take your coffee and go back to bed, I’ll be there soon.” 

Jensen’s eyes lit up a bit as he smiled at his boyfriend and roommate. 

“Spoiled brat,” Chris muttered, teasingly and Jensen just grinned wider at him as he sipped his coffee and drifted back to the bedroom still half asleep. 

Ten minutes later Jared entered the room to find Jensen almost asleep in bed, coffee cup sitting empty on the nightstand. He had a tray with two plates of eggs, bacon, toast, and another cup of coffee for Jensen and one for himself. Jensen woke up a little and sat up. “Thanks Jay,” he sighed into his second cup of coffee. 

Jared laughed, climbing into the bed. “I think you’re happier to have the coffee than me or the food,” he teased. Jensen looked up over the brim of the mug and winked at Jared in response. He set the coffee down and they dug into their breakfast. 

“This is great Jared. Thank you,” Jensen sighed once the food was finished and he snuggled up against Jared’s chest. 

“You’re welcome, and happy birthday. Officially.” Jensen looked up at Jared who pressed his lips to Jensen is a soft, chaste kiss. “We are going to do nothing all morning. We are going to just lay here and watch whatever crap is on TV, or binge watch whatever you want. We are going to eat crap food for lunch, then nap, then Gen and Chad should have everything ready at my place for your party tonight. Tomorrow I have plans for us for the whole day.” 

Jensen raised his eyebrow at Jared. “What kind of plans? Do they involve clothes?” He smirked, rolling over on top of Jared. 

Jared laughed into Jensen’s neck. “Well, I had plans for us to go out, so clothes would be necessary, but if you have better plans we can always change mine. I can be easily convinced, especially if it means keeping you naked all day.” 

They laughed and kissed playfully before Jensen rolled off of Jared and cuddled back up next to him. “No, let’s do your thing. We can spend Saturday night naked whenever we get back.” 

Jared held Jensen tighter against his chest. “We could get naked now, too. We have all morning and afternoon to lounge around here and do nothing, or you know, do other things.” 

Jensen got the message and quickly shimmied out of his shorts and underwear. Jared followed suit and they fell back into bed together and spent the better part of the morning exploring each other’s bodies and bringing each other to ecstasy more than once. 

They napped until early in the afternoon, ordered take out, and ate in bed. Chris had left early in the day to head over to Chad and Jared’s to help prepare for Jensen’s party, and to get away from all the sex going on in his apartment. Jared and Jensen only left the bed to shower or use the bathroom, other than answering the door when their take out arrived. 

They hadn’t had a day to do nothing but lounge around, eat, have sex, and watch TV like that in a while, which is why Jared planned it. He knew it was something Jensen loved. Jensen preferred days like this as opposed to anything involving crowds and although Jared’s plans for Saturday involved being out of the apartment, it wasn’t anything that would make Jensen uncomfortable. He knew Jensen well enough now to know what he would really enjoy doing. 

Jared and Jensen left for Jared’s apartment in the evening. Jensen wore a pair of faded jeans, a tight black t-shirt, and leather jacket. Jared was trying not to drool looking at his boyfriend. He stood, staring, grinning at him when Jensen finished spiking up his hair, instead of wearing his signature beanie. He slipped his black frame glasses on his face and caught Jared staring. 

“What? Why are you staring at me, creep?” Jensen teased, tonguing his labret piercing. 

Jared smiled fondly at him. “You are absolutely gorgeous. How the hell did I get so lucky?” 

Jensen blushed and smiled shyly. “You were in the right place at the right time, and you had the right nickname.” 

Jared chuckled softly and pulled Jensen into his arms. “Thank God for that. Twenty minutes was all I had and it was all it took for me to fall for you.” 

Jensen kissed Jared softly. “You big sap,” he whispered. 

Jared tightened the embrace and mumbled, “I am so in love with you,” into Jensen’s neck. 

“Right back at ya Jare. I love you so much.” 

They let each other go in order to get to Jensen’s party on time. 

When they arrived, the apartment was full of Jensen and Jared’s closest friends. Christian, Steve, Chad, Gen, Mike, Jason, Rob, Danneel, Misha, and a few other friends from their classes and work. Sophia, one of Danneel’s friends was holding Chad’s interest, which was a rare thing. Jared walked Jensen into the apartment, his arm draped over Jensen’s shoulders. 

“There’s the birthday boy!” Chris shouted, drawing attention to Jensen and Jared. 

Jensen smiled and gave a quick wave then went straight for the kitchen for a beer. He didn’t enjoy being the center of attention. He loved hanging out with his friends, which was why he agreed to the party in the first place, but he didn’t really want too much focus on him. Jared could sense Jensen’s unease, so once they each had a beer in hand, Jared led Jensen to the couch where he could at least sit and be comfortable and chat with his friends. 

Jensen leaned into Jared, Jared’s arm slung over the back of the couch, his fingers lightly stroking the back of Jensen’s neck, soothing him. They talked to Jason and Rob, who were sharing the oversized recliner, Jared’s usual spot, and were wrapped up around each other. Things seemed to be going very well between them and Rob looked at Jason as if he was the only person who existed. Jared understood that feeling, and was sure he had given that exact look in Jensen’s direction several times. 

The party was low key, just as Jared promised, and Jensen was beyond happy for it. The only time he was uncomfortable was when they brought out a cake and sang happy birthday to him. 

“I’m not twelve,” Jensen began to protest, but then caught the large dimply smile cast his way and let it go. Jared was a big kid, and Jensen was getting a birthday cake damn it. 

Mike kept the majority of guests entertained with his antics. Between him and Chad the party sounded like there was at least fifty people there. There was a lot of laughter circulating the apartment, funny stories being traded, and a massive amount of booze being consumed. Jensen was feeling good, had a nice buzz, had his gorgeous boyfriend by his side, and his closest friends there to celebrate another year of life with him. He was talking to Misha and Danneel about how much he loved everyone, a clear sign that he was well on his way to drunk. Jared sat back and watched his friends and his boyfriend, and he realized that he had never been happier in his life. 

He walked up behind Jensen and wrapped his arms around his waist from behind. “How’s my birthday boy?” he whispered in his ear, planting a soft kiss on his neck. 

Jensen giggled, and sighed, “Good, great, I’m really great.” 

The party continued until late in the night. Once everyone filtered out, Jared guided Jensen to his bedroom. They were both pretty drunk and giggling as they fumbled to take off their clothes. They laid down in bed, completely naked, and Jensen kissed Jared deeply before peppering light kisses all over his face causing Jared to laugh. They ended up making out for a while then falling asleep, naked, their arms wrapped around each other and legs tangled together. 

They woke up only a little hung-over and moving rather slowly. Jared still hadn’t told Jensen where he was taking him. They showered and dressed, grabbing some pastries and coffee from the coffee shop, and checked in on Gen. She was more hung over than the boys and grouchy with them because of it. They made their way to Jared’s car and Jensen asked again where they were going as Jared headed down the 405. 

Jared sighed, “Venice Beach. Thought we could spend the day walking the boardwalk, checking out the street musicians and artists, and maybe catch a band later.” 

Jensen’s eyes lit up. “I’ve never been to Venice Beach!” he exclaimed. 

“I know, that’s why we’re going,” Jared replied, smirking. 

About forty minutes later they were driving down the narrow streets by the beach. “Electric Avenue!” Jensen giggled, “I didn’t know that was a real thing!” 

Jared chuckled, “Yeah Jen, this was the street people used to go to for drugs, hence the line, ‘rock down to Electric Avenue and it’ll take you higher’.” 

Jensen looked at him wide eyed. “I can’t believe I never put that together,” he said, shaking his head at himself. 

Jared parked the car at an all-day beach parking lot and the boys began walking toward the boardwalk. They held hands as they walked, pointing out various art and artists they passed along the way. Jared had a blanket tucked under his free arm and after several blocks, they made their way to the sand. 

“It’s a little cold to really enjoy the actual beach, isn’t it?” Jensen teased. 

“Nah, we aren’t swimming or anything, just thought we could find a spot to sit and chill.” Jensen grinned at Jared. 

They found a spot to lay the blanket just in front of the boardwalk where a few street performers were located. Jared sat down and spread his legs, an invite for Jensen to sit between them, which he did happily. Jared wrapped his long muscular arms around Jensen, clasping his hands in front of Jensen’s belly, and rested his chin on Jensen’s shoulder. 

“This is nice.” Jensen breathed out leaning back into Jared’s embrace. They sat for just over an hour, listening to the music and chatting quietly. 

When they finally got up they made their way through the boardwalk to check out more shops. Jared found a place for lunch, a small dimly lit bar and restaurant. There was a small stage where a jazz performer was playing soothing music. They ordered seafood and drank beer while they ate quietly and enjoyed the live music. Once they were done, they made their way back to the boardwalk but Jensen decided that he was ready to head back home.

Jared looked at him, disappointment clear on his face as he said sadly, “You didn’t like they day I planned?” 

Jensen stopped them in their tracks and immediately pulled Jared into a tight hug, kissing his neck and said in a low, deep voice, “Jared, I _loved_ today. I’ve loved everything you’ve done for my birthday. I just want to go home and _show_ you how much I love it all, and how much I love you. No one has ever made me feel more special. This was the perfect birthday weekend.” 

Jared smiled widely and kissed Jensen’s forehead. “Good, I was hoping you liked it,” he said, shyly. 

“No Jay I said I loved it,” Jensen corrected. 

They parted from their hug and continued walking back down the boardwalk toward the parking lot, Jensen tucked under Jared’s arm. Two blocks before the parking lot Jared spotted one of those photo booths where they take strips of photos. He dragged Jensen inside and Jensen scrunched his nose when they squeezed into the small booth; it was not very accommodating for two men over six feet tall. Jensen was practically sitting on Jared’s lap so Jared hauled him up so he was. They took a shot with Jensen and Jared both smiling at the camera, the next one they kissed, and the last one they made silly faces, Jensen making cross eyes and Jared scrunching up his face and sticking out his tongue. The waited a minute for the photos to print then finished their walk to the car.

They were driving about five minutes when Jensen reached over and started rubbing Jared’s thigh. “I thought of a way to start thanking you now for this amazing weekend,” he said as his hand cupped Jared’s hardening cock through his jeans.

Jared’s eyes grew wide. “J-Jensen, fuck, what are you doing babe?” His voice was raw with lust as Jensen began rubbing his rapidly thickening member. Jensen removed his glasses and placed them in the glove compartment along with his gray beanie. He reached back over to Jared, looking at his face as he unbuttoned and unzipped Jared’s jeans.

“You’ll see.” He smirked, green eyes glazed over with desire. He pulled Jared’s now fully hard, thick cock out and bent over to lick the tip, earning a shocked moan from Jared. He licked down the shaft and he heard Jared’s breath hitch. He took as much of Jared’s cock in his mouth as he could at the awkward angle and used his hand to stroke what he couldn’t fit in his mouth. 

“Fuck, Jen! Ohmygod, feels so-- _fuck_. Feels so fucking good,” Jared panted, “Fuck, I can’t believe you’re doing this while I’m driving in rush hour traffic. Mmmm, any- _unf_ -anyone could see. Ooooh shit don’t stop,” Jared rambled causing Jensen to smile around Jared’s thick length. 

Jensen worked Jared’s cock with his lips, tongue, and hand, feeling it grow heavier as he sucked and stroked. “Fuck, Jensen, Oh damn baby I’m gonna cum. I’m gonna cum so fucking hard,” Jared moaned seconds before his release. Jensen sucked most of it down, a little dribbling down his chin as he pulled off with a pop, smiling and wiping the cum off his face with his sleeve. 

“Damn babe, if that’s how you’re going to thank me for taking you out I’m taking you out all the time,” Jared chuckled, hoarsely. 

Jensen smiled softly at Jared. “I did that because you’re an amazing boyfriend and I wanted you to feel my appreciation.” 

Jared smirked. “You’re going to feel my appreciation alright, in your ass, as soon as we get home.” 

Jensen laughed, “I’m counting on it.” 

They barely made it in the door of Jensen’s apartment when Jared pushed Jensen against the wall and kissed him deep and dirty. They heard someone clear their throat and turned to see Chris sitting on the couch with Steve, both of them strumming guitars. 

“Damn guys, can’t it wait until you get in the bedroom?” Chris teased. 

Jensen shrugged, blushing and pulled Jared to his bedroom without so much as a word to Christian or Steve. “Horny fuckers!” Chris yelled out. 

“Jealous?” Jared shouted back, laughter in his voice. 

“Not for cock,” Chris replied which is when Jensen slammed his door, then slammed Jared up against it. 

He kissed him hard, slow, and deep, biting his lip just this side of painful and moving his way to Jared’s neck. Jared, who usually followed Jensen’s lead, took over the kiss and spun them around so Jensen was against the wall. He ground his jean clad cock against Jensen, eliciting a soft moan from his boyfriend’s lips. Jared pulled Jensen’s shirt over his head and kissed down his chest, nibbling on his nipples and licking and kissing down his abs. Jensen’s breath quickened, his hands found purchase in Jared’s long hair. He twisted his fingers in it and tugged. 

Jared sighed and worked Jensen’s jeans off him, sliding his boxer briefs down with them. He took Jensen’s cock in his mouth sucking him down all at once making Jensen whimper. He sucked eagerly, licking and flicking his tongue as his lips slid up and down Jensen’s wide girth. 

“Wanna fuck you. Need to fuck you,” Jensen panted, “Please Jare, you keep that up n ‘m gonna cum too soon. Wanna be inside you.” 

Jared pulled off and shimmied out of his jeans as Jensen pulled Jared’s shirt off over his head. Jensen tried to take back over dominance but Jared wouldn’t let him, instead he turned them around and pushed Jensen down on the bed. He crawled on top of him and kissed him. 

“You wanna fuck me Jen?” Jared whispered, nibbling Jensen’s ear, “You wanna shove that big fat cock in my ass?” 

Jensen licked Jared’s neck, and then bit him, somewhere in between a nibble and a bite. “Fuck yes,” he moaned into Jared’s mouth as their lips and tongues collided. 

Jared rolled them over, so Jensen was on top and reached for the lube that was on the nightstand, shoving it into Jensen’s hand. “Then fucking do it.” His voice deepened with desire. 

Jensen smirked, “I like it when you’re bossy.” He coated his fingers, pressing into Jared to stretch him fast and dirty before returning to slick his rock hard cock up generously and guide it to Jared’s waiting hole. He pushed in, faster than he normally did, then paused for a moment to let Jared get adjusted to the fullness. He peppered kisses around Jared’s face and pulled out just a couple inches, then shoved all the way in, hard, earning a deep moan from Jared. 

“Fuck me Jen. Fuck me hard. Deep. Wanna feel you everywhere,” Jared cried out. 

Jensen obliged, gripping Jared’s waist with one hand then steadying himself on the bed with the other and pounded into Jared hard, fast, and as deep as he could go, balls slapping against Jared’s ass with every thrust. 

“Yeah baby, uhhh, fuck yeah, harder Jensen, fuck me harder,” Jared cried out. Jensen slammed his cock as hard as he could into Jared’s tight hole and moaned repeatedly, calling out Jared’s name. He lifted Jared’s leg just slightly, to get a better angle, to go deeper and with the first thrust he found Jared’s prostate. “HOLY FUCKING FUCK JEN-JENSEN” Jared yelled. 

Jensen kept the angle and the pace, fucking his boyfriend as hard as he could. Sweat was pouring from both of them and Jensen reached down to grip Jared’s neglected cock with his strong fingers. He stroked Jared three times before Jared screamed Jensen’s name and came so hard he saw stars. Cum shot out of his dick all the way up and hit his own chin, spattering on his chest and stomach on the way. 

Jensen fucked into him a few more times before his whole body went tense and he moaned, low and deep, and Jared felt the throbbing pulse of Jensen coming inside of him. It felt like it would never stop; Jensen’s head was thrown back, mouth open, and his eyes screwed shut; Jared thought to himself that Jensen had never looked more beautiful. 

Jensen collapsed on top of Jared, panting, their bodies so slick with sweat he nearly slid off of Jared’s chest. “Holy fucking hell,” he mumbled into Jared’s neck, “I don’t think I’ve ever cum that hard in my fucking life.” 

Jared, still too blissed out for words just nodded in agreement, then finally said, “I came so hard it’s up to my chin.” 

Jensen chuckled low and deep into Jared’s neck. He lifted up to look at his boyfriend’s face. “Thank you Jared, for this weekend, for loving me, for everything.” He leaned down to kiss Jared sweetly. 

“If you don’t move we are going to be glued together with cum,” Jared muttered. 

Jensen scoffed, “Way to ruin the moment you big moose.” They both laughed and when Jensen heaved himself off of Jared, using almost all of the energy he had left, Jared grabbed Jensen’s face in his oversized hands.

“First, you’re welcome, and second, I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you. I’m glad I could make your birthday weekend great.” He placed a chaste kiss on Jensen’s lips then looked down at their bodies and grimaced, “We need to shower, this is gross.” 

Jensen huffed out a laugh. “You’re calling our love juice gross!” 

Jared laughed so hard he snorted. “Love juice? Ew, Jensen. Just. Ew.” 

They both dissolved into laugher. Jared grabbed his discarded undershirt to wipe the cum and sweat from their bodies so Chris and Steve didn’t happen to see it if they saw them walk to the bathroom. He grabbed a change of clothes out of Jensen’s drawers for himself and Jensen -- Jared kept a few outfits and pajama pants over at Jensen’s and Jensen did the same at Jared’s. 

They stumbled to the bathroom, their legs like jelly after the mind-blowing sex. Once Chris heard the door open he yelled, “Next time can you keep it down you damn animals!” 

Jared laughed loudly and Jensen blushed, still the cutest thing Jared’s ever seen. They showered together, helping each other wash their bodies, both exhausted from their weekend of partying and sex. They went back to Jensen’s room and collapsed on the bed, holding each other tightly to where you couldn’t tell where one of them ended and the other began. They watched a movie and chatted softly with each other before finally passing out. They both slept soundly that night, their breathing in sync with one another, just as everything else in their lives was.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the boys move in together.

Sunday morning meant back to work for both Jensen and Jared. They got up early enough that they could eat breakfast and have coffee together and decided to go to the coffee shop. Jensen had a plan.

He told Jared to sit in the booth where they first met, a place they often sat. Then Jensen went and bought them each a coffee – Jared’s extra sweet, his bitter and black – and some breakfast sandwiches for both of them. He sat down on “his side” of the booth and took Jared’s hand in his. 

“This is where we met. This is where I fell in love with you that very night,” Jensen said, just above a whisper. His cheeks were pink already, and Jared smiled widely at his boyfriend and how cute he was when he blushed. 

“Me too,” Jared said back. 

Jensen stroked Jared’s hand with his fingers, swallowing back the nervousness he was feeling. “I know we haven’t been dating very long, but I had this thought... I know we’re young, and still in school, but we spend almost every night together at one apartment or the other. I already talked to Chris and Chad, and depending on what you say they’ve got arrangements in place, but… Uh, well, I kinda want to ask you to get a place with me. Our own apartment. Together.” Jensen’s cheeks were completely red now, with a worried look in his eyes. 

Jared’s eyes widened and then softened. “Yes, I would love to Jensen, but... I mean, are you sure? And what arrangements have Chris and Chad made?” 

Jensen grinned happily, the redness slowly receding to his normal skin tone. “Good, I kind of already looked at some apartments. There’s actually a unit opening up in my building. Chris said Steve will move in with him since he and Nicole broke up and Steve needs to find a place anyway, and Chad, well you know how Gen hates her apartment? She’s only stayed there so long ‘cause it’s so cheap! The elephants that live upstairs stomp around all night and it’s driving her crazy. She said she would move in with Chad, said it would probably do him some good, and Chad thinks it’s a great idea because she will have hot girlfriends over all the time, so he thinks,” he added with a laugh. Everyone knew Gen didn’t hang out with a lot of girls, that Danneel and Sophia were really the only girls she spent a lot of time with and she met them threw the boys. 

Jared smiled happily. “Well that seems perfect. When can we look at the apartment in your building? Or did you want to move out of that building? I kind of love it since it’s close to work and campus and the rooms are huge.” Jared knew he was rambling, but he was so excited about moving in with Jensen that he didn’t care. 

Gen made her way over to them carrying coffee refills, a smile on her face. “I’m guessing he said yes to living together?” 

Jared and Jensen smiled back at her and in unison sighed, “Yeah.” 

She laughed. “You two are so cute, I love it when you talk at the same time! And I’m so happy that I get to move the fuck out of that damn apartment!” She hugged them both then had to get back to work so they said their goodbyes.

They made plans to meet up after work and look at the apartment in Jensen’s building and a few others in the area. Jensen said he would call the places on his way into work and they kissed goodbye outside the coffee shop door.

Jensen, true to his word, lined up appointments for them to view the places after work. He couldn’t wait for the end of his shift.

The boys met up at Jensen’s apartment at 4:30 with plans to look at the apartment in Jensen’s building at 4:45. They met with the apartment manager and he took them one floor up to the available unit. The set up was different because it was a one bedroom, but the bedroom was huge and had an en suite bathroom. The main bathroom was also large and the living room was almost twice the size of the living room Jensen shared with Christian. The kitchen was the same size, perfect for just the two of them, and since the rent was reasonable they decided to take the apartment without even looking at the other two they had lined up. As Jensen called to cancel the appointments, Jared started in on their paperwork, and they were given a move in date for a week later. 

The week ended up flying by since they were so busy between work, school, and packing. They barely saw each other but figured that would be okay since they would soon be living together. The day of the move they had all hands on deck, since not only were the two of them moving, but so were Steve and Gen. 

Everyone helped Jared and Jensen pack up their things and haul them up to the new apartment. Earlier in the week, Jensen and Jared had discussed whose bed they would bring and decided on Jensen’s. Both were king sized beds, but Jensen’s was easier to move for the simple fact that it was closer. Gen was happy because she had a small double bed that was almost as old as she was, and through their decision, they decided to leave Jared’s in the apartment for her. 

Jensen teased as they were struggling to move the king sized bed, “Guess that means mine is more comfortable after all.” 

Jared huffed, “I will _not_ concede to that. Yours was just easier to move.” 

Jensen rolled his eyes, shaking the bed gently. “Is this easy? It doesn’t feel easy!”

They got the bed into their new room and everyone, including Misha, Danneel, Mike, Jason, and Rob, helped move everything else. Next they moved Gen into Chad’s place, then finally Steve in with Chris. Everyone was exhausted by the end of it, but still decided to go out for celebratory drinks at the pub that was a few blocks from Jared, Jensen, Steve and Chris. 

Several drinks into the night Jensen went up for refills for the table, as it was his turn to pay for a round. The bar was pretty busy for a Sunday night and he stood waiting awkwardly for the bar tender as a very good-looking guy sidled up next to him. 

“Hey, you’re pretty hot, been watching you all night,” the guy said, putting Jensen on alert instantly.

“First,” he replied, “If you’ve been watching me all night then you would know I’m here with my boyfriend. Second, watching me all night is pretty creepy dude, and third, I’m not interested for reasons one and two.” He turned back to face the bar and creepy guy leaned over in his space again.

“Aw come on, it’s not creepy to admire an attractive guy, is it? And yeah I saw you with that giant, but I’m willing to bet I can make you feel things that he never could.” 

Jensen rolled his eyes so hard they hurt. “Yeah, I bet you’re right ‘cause I just threw up in my mouth a little, and Jared’s never made me feel that before.” 

Creepy guy leaned in closer, seemingly oblivious to Jensen’s unease. “Name’s Stephen, remember that ‘cause you’ll be calling it out later.” 

Jensen said, “Yeah, when I yell to my boyfriend, ‘hey babe this asshole Stephen won’t take no for an answer!’” 

Jared was watching from the table, saw by Jensen’s stance that he was uncomfortable, and was getting angrier and angrier watching the other guy lean in closer to his boyfriend. Jared leaned over to Chad, “Watch my back, I gotta go deal with this,” and he nodded toward the bar. 

Chad sat up straighter in his chair, and nodded toward Jared. “Got you,” he said. 

Jared made his way over to Jensen and intentionally slid in between Leany-McCreeper and his boyfriend. He had his back to the man with alarmingly blue eyes and short brown hair. “Hey babe, you need some help with the drinks? Was wondering what was takin so long.” He felt a tap on his shoulder and he straightened his back to stand up tall, showing off his intimidating height. He turned toward the guy and grumbled, “Can I help you?”

“Yeah, you can get the fuck out of my way. I was having a conversation before you so rudely inserted yourself.” 

Jared snorted out an unamused laugh. “Oh you mean when you were leaning all over my boyfriend making him uncomfortable? Yeah, saw that, and no, he’s not interested,” Jared said sternly. 

“STEPHEN here can’t take no for an answer, but yes babe, help with the drinks would be great,” Jensen smiled at Jared and focused his attention on the bartender now filling their order and watching the tense situation nervously. 

“Excuse me giant, but I said I was having a conversation and you can kindly fuck off now.” 

Jared tensed even more, gritting his teeth he snarled back, “You’re the one who can fuck off buddy. Leave my boyfriend alone, he said he’s not fucking interested!” 

Stephen stood up off the stool, and puffed his chest out, “You want to take this outside asshole?” he yelled. 

Jared leaned over to the bartender. “Ma’am, listen, we don’t want any trouble. Can you just put these on our tab and we will come back and pay when there isn’t so much crowding?” She nodded and he turned his attention to Stephen. “Look man, I’m not interested in fighting you, but you will leave my boyfriend _and_ me alone now. Go find someone without a brain to hit on; that seems to be more your match, and the only type that’ll take you home.” 

Jared and Jensen grabbed the beers for the table; the bartender said she would come by with the mixed drinks and the shots momentarily. Jared nodded at her and they made their way back to the table. 

“What the fuck was that guy’s deal?” Chris asked, “I was about to come over there and stomp his ass.” 

Chad nodded, “Me too,” and Jason agreed, “Same!” 

Jensen filled the group in on what had happened as the bartender made her way over with the rest of the drinks and the shots for everyone. “Shots are on the house, sorry for that asshole,” she said, smiling apologetically. Everyone thanked her, downed their shots, and continued with their conversations, Stephen already forgotten, for the time being. 

An hour later they were paying the tab and heading out when Stephen stepped up in front of Jensen again. “Last chance baby, you don’t want to miss out.” 

Jensen stiffened. “Dude, I fucking said no, now fuck off.” He went to push past Stephen when Stephen grabbed his wrist and spun him around again facing him. He was attempting to pull Jensen in to kiss him when Jared punched him square in the jaw.

“Fuck OFF!” Jared yelled. The bouncer pushed his way through the crowd and demanded to know what happened. When everyone filled him in, he grabbed Stephen by the shirt and physically tossed him out of the bar. The group of friends decided to have another beer to avoid running into Stephen outside, then all left the bar together. They made it out to the street, saying goodnight and going their separate ways, Chad and Gen heading to their place, Misha and Danneel headed to his with Mike since he lived in the same building. Jason, Rob, Jensen, Jared, Steve and Chris all started heading back to where their buildings were. They walked past the alley when they heard, “Hey giant, this isn’t fucking over!” They all let out grumbles and sounds of annoyance but kept heading toward home.

They got back to their apartment buildings and all said goodnight. Jared and Jensen went straight for their new bedroom. “Don’t let that fucker ruin moving day for us,” Jared said pulling Jensen in and kissing him. “We live together now Jen,” he said, almost childlike. 

Jensen chuckled softly. “I know, amazing huh? And don’t worry that asshole is already forgotten. Come ‘ere,” he said pulling Jared back into another kiss. They kissed lazily as they slowly undressed each other and laid down on the bed, making out like teenagers. “I’m exhausted, what do you say we christen the place in the morning with hot morning sex?” Jensen suggested.

Jared yawned and replied, “Sounds perfect. Goodnight babe, love you.” 

Jensen kissed Jared soundly. “Goodnight, love you too.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More sweet J2. meeting the families, and a big moment for the boys. enjoy! angst coming soon. (not this chapter)

The next several weeks flew by; it was nearing the end of the semester, with only two weeks left, which meant cramming for exams, writing paper after paper, completing final projects, plus work. Jared and Jensen had adjusted nicely to living together, only finding a few of each other’s habits excessively annoying. Jensen was OCD about his DVD collection being in alphabetical order and Jared would just shove the movies back anywhere he found space. It drove Jensen crazy. Jared was always leaving dishes in the sink, Jensen forever left his towels on the floor, but overall the things that drove each other nuts were just nitpicky and things that most likely would never change; they just had to get used to it.

There was a lot of sex, a lot of studying, many hours of working, and very little sleep. Jared still stopped by the coffee house every day, Jensen with him the mornings he didn’t have an early class. Jared never had early classes and the only time he was up early was when he had a morning shift at the station. They fell into a routine, and as busy as their lives were, they were content, happy, and even more in love. 

Jensen was graduating, had gotten accepted to a year and a half graduate program, and would still be attending classes the following year with the last six months spent writing his thesis. He had lined up a job teaching in the meantime and would start teaching music at the high school near their home. 

Jared still had two more years of school, and was very much looking forward to having the summer off. He had two more weeks of work and finals to get through, Jensen’s graduation, and a visit home to his family along with a visit to Jensen’s family. They decided it was time to meet and spend a week with each other’s families, and summer would be the best time to do it when there was no rush, no deadlines, just relaxation. Jared had been talking about his family a lot and Jensen knew he was missing them. He was missing his family too, especially after skipping his Christmas trip home to stay with Jared. He didn’t regret that at all, but he did miss his parents, brother, and sister. 

Jared would meet Jensen’s family for the first time at Jensen’s graduation, and the following week they would head to Richardson to stay with Jensen’s family for a week to have his official “family” graduation party. Then the boys would go straight to San Antonio to spend the next week with Jared’s family. They would head home after that, and Jared would go back to work at the station, Jensen would go back to work for the next month at the music store, taking the three weeks before he started his new job to get prepared for the start of the school year. 

Jared passed all of his classes with flying colors, the exhaustion and late nights working on papers and studying was worth it when he made the Dean’s list. They had three days between the end of the semester and graduation to do nothing, which turned into cleaning their apartment for when Jensen’s family arrived and having a lot of hot, steamy sex. 

Jensen came out of the bathroom after scouring it to see Jared bent over the kitchen table, scrubbing it clean. He watched Jared’s ass shake and toyed with his labret with his tongue. He snuck up behind Jared, who was still bent over, and wrapped his arms around his waist, pressing his half hard dick in between Jared’s ass cheeks. 

Jared was startled; he hadn’t heard Jensen sneak up on him over the loud music blaring through the apartment as they cleaned. He jumped a little, then pushed his ass back and wiggled it against Jensen’s crotch.

“Hey, you better be careful. My boyfriend catches you and he will kick your ass,” Jared teased, turning his big dimpled smile toward Jensen over his shoulder. 

Jensen rolled his eyes. “I can take him,” he said, his deep voice full of desire. His cock grew harder in his sweatpants, no underwear beneath to trap him, and he pushed harder into Jared’s body. Jared, also in sweats, pushed back and the pair groaned at the two thin pieces of fabric were all that separated them. Jensen pushed Jared’s sweats to the floor and Jared leaned over even more on the table, exposing his waiting ass for Jensen. Jensen pulled his pants down and in his deep sexy voice demanded, “Take off your shirt,” as he did the same. 

Jared obliged then bent back over the table, throwing a lustful look at Jensen over his shoulder. Jensen dropped to his knees, spreading Jared’s ass, then he heard Jared’s shaky voice whisper, “Jen, wha- what are you, OH MY FUCKING GOD!” 

Jensen began licking Jared’s hole, making his tongue into a point he breached Jared with it, causing Jared’s legs to begin to shake. He fucked Jared with his tongue then added a finger. He wanted his boyfriend to come just like this before he fucked him, knowing he could get him to come again on his dick. Jared was panting, rambling Jensen’s name and how it felt so good. With a few more flicks of his tongue, Jared was coming hard all over the kitchen table and the floor. 

Jensen got to his feet and grabbed the vegetable oil that was sitting out on the counter, to which Jared laughed, “Don’t want to stop long enough to get lube huh?” His voice was still shaky from his post orgasm high. 

Jensen smiled hungrily at Jared. “Fuck no, and this’ll work.” 

He slicked himself up with the oil and held Jared down with one hand on his back and positioned his hard, leaking cock at Jared’s ready hole. He pushed in, feeling Jared’s body stiffen for a moment at the intrusion before relaxing again. Jensen thrust shallowly a few times, then sunk balls deep inside Jared, letting out a sigh of relief. Jared was biting his bottom lip and had his head turned to look over his shoulder, wanting to look at Jensen.

Jensen looked down and saw Jared straining his neck to watch his lover’s face. Jensen pulled out and in one swift move, flipped Jared over so he was on his back on the table. He hooked Jared’s legs over his arms and slid back inside him. Jensen pushed Jared’s legs back a bit, knowing what that angle would get him in deeper and with just about every push, he hit Jared’s prostate, eliciting incoherent sounds from Jared. Jensen fucked Jared’s tight hole hard and fast, telling Jared how hot he was spread out on their table. He felt his balls get tight and knew he was going to come soon. 

He had Jared’s legs held up so he couldn’t jerk Jared’s cock while he fucked him. He leaned down as far as he could and in a deep, demanding voice asserted, “Touch yourself, Jay.” 

Jared didn’t need to be told twice. He began stroking his long, full cock to the same rhythm as Jensen’s thrusts. 

“Jare, fuck baby, I’m gonna cum,” Jensen’s voice nearly whined, a pitch much higher than normal. Jared locked eyes with Jensen.

“Cum for me, Jen. Cum in me. I wanna feel your cock throb inside me.” Just saying those words had Jared on edge; he was so close but he wanted to come with Jensen. 

“Jare, fuck, oh, God, yes, JARED,” Jensen rambled as his pace quickened but his movements stuttered a bit because he was about to explode into Jared. Jared and Jensen were still staring deeply into each other’s eyes and Jensen mouthed, “Love you.” Then his mouth fell open as he groaned, the same moment Jared let out a guttural moan, something that sounded like Jensen’s name and they both came hard and long, still with their gazes locked on each other. It was intimate, intense, and sexy as hell. 

Once the last drop was released and the aftershocks finished, Jensen fell over Jared’s body, releasing his legs to fall to the floor. 

“Holy fucking hell Jared,” Jensen panted. Jared smiled into Jensen’s sweaty cheek as he placed a kiss there.

“That was fucking intense,” Jared sighed. Jensen nodded, as his verbal skills were not back to a functioning point yet. They stayed in that position long enough to catch their breath, then Jensen heaved off of Jared and grimaced when he saw the cum on the table and floor. 

“That’s pretty gross, my parents are gonna eat in here.” He tried to keep a straight face, but when Jared’s face looked horrified, Jensen couldn’t contain his laughter. “It’s alright babe, that’s why we have bleach, pine sol, Lysol… you get my point.” 

Jared nodded and immediately got out a heavy-duty cleaner and began cleaning up the pools of cum in their kitchen. They finished cleaning the apartment and collapsed together on the couch, immediately spooning. Jared ended up as the little spoon, despite his grumbling, and caught up on the few episodes of their favorite show that had been recorded over the last few weeks since they hadn’t had time to watch. They were comfortable, laying there and commenting on the show, the characters, and what they would do if it was them instead, as well as criticizing their decisions. It was a lazy afternoon, and they knew Jensen’s family would be arriving that night so they wanted to soak up the alone time. 

When they watched all of the episodes, they got up off the couch to stretch and check their phones. Jensen smiled, holding out his phone to show Jared. “My folks landed, they’ll be here any minute,” he said happily. 

Jared got quiet and started shuffling around the apartment, moving things. Jensen knew Jared fidgeted when he was nervous and walked up behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist. He placed a soft kiss on the back of his neck. “It’ll be fine. They’ll love you,” he whispered. 

Jared leaned back into the embrace. “I hope so. I really want them to like me.” 

Jensen turned him into his arms and kissed him sweetly. “You have nothing to worry about babe,” he whispered into Jared’s mouth. 

The knock on the door startled them, and Jared let out a nervous breath. “Here we go,” he said anxiously. Jensen smiled and Jared followed him to the door. 

Jensen opened the door and was met by and armful of Mackenzie, his little sister. She squealed and jumped into his arms like a spider monkey eliciting a deep throaty laugh from Jensen. She untangled herself from her brother and Jensen’s mother and father came in, hugging their son.

“Josh is parking the car,” Alan, Jensen’s father, said after a hug and pat on his son’s back.

Jensen turned to his boyfriend. “Jared, this is my dad, Alan, my mom, Donna, and this pain in the ass is my little sister, Mac.” 

Jared went to shake their hands but Donna was quick to laugh off the outstretched hand and pull Jared into a tight hug. “It is so nice to finally meet you sweetie. Jensen goes on and on about you!” 

Jared relaxed into the hug. “Hope it was good things.” Jared said laughing nervously. 

Mac hugged Jared next. “Jen said you were hot, but his description didn’t do you justice!” Mac teased, “Jensen, you locked down a hottie.” 

Jensen chuckled. “I know Mac, thanks,” he said playfully rolling his eyes. Jared stood up straighter and reached out a hand to Alan.

The older man took it and ended up pulling him into a half hug with a pat on the back, saying, “We’ve heard a lot of great things about you, son. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”   
Jensen’s family put Jared at ease right away. They loved him, just as Jensen knew they would. After giving his family a quick tour of their apartment, they decided to go out to dinner. Throughout the mean they asked Jared questions about his major, his family, and talked to both boys about their friends. It was nice and relaxing and Jared couldn’t take his eyes off of Jensen and the genuine joy that shone on his face from being around his family. 

He must have been staring because Donna leaned over and nudged Jared, whispering, “You really love him, don’t you?” 

Jared blushed and smiled shyly. “Yes, I really do, with everything I have.” 

Donna gently squeezed his arm. “Good. Because he loves you too. I’m glad you two have each other.” Jared smiled again and turned to look back at Jensen who was laughing at something his brother said. 

“So, Jared,” Josh said from across the table, “You plan on making an honest man outta this idiot someday?” 

Jensen shot Josh a look that said, ‘shut the fuck up’ and ‘I can’t believe you just said that.’ Alan smacked Josh on the back of his head. “Way to make it awkward, idiot,” Alan said rolling his eyes. 

Jared was four shades of red, but he cleared his throat and said, “It’s okay Alan, and yeah, Josh, someday I do.” He looked at Jensen whose mouth was hanging open and his face a matching crimson. Jensen and Jared’s eyes met and it calmed him, his normal color returning to his face. 

Jensen’s family was staying at a hotel, so they dropped off the boys at their apartment and said goodnight. They still had a couple days before graduation and were going to bed early so they could do some sightseeing in the morning before coming over to the boys’ apartment for lunch. 

Once they were home, Jensen said, “Jare, I’m sorry about Josh.” 

Jared laughed. “No worries babe. And just for the record, I would marry you tomorrow.” He placed a soft kiss on the tip of Jensen’s nose and went to the bathroom. Jensen went to their room and sat on the edge of the bed. He opened the nightstand and pulled out the small box he had hidden there for the last couple weeks. He sat staring at it, thinking now was as good a time as ever. He was planning on waiting for Jared’s birthday, but that was a couple months away. He knew he couldn’t wait that long, and after the conversation tonight he figured it would be nice to have his family there to celebrate. 

He heard Jared shuffling around and he put the box in his back pocket and moved out to the living room, lit a few candles, and put on some music. They had a playlist of sappy songs for when they were feeling romantic that Jared had made a playlist from a couple months ago. Jensen teased him about it, but he ended up using it more than Jared. Jared appeared in the living room, looking confused and sexy as hell in his jeans and no shirt. Jensen took a deep breath and started to feel nervous. 

Jared approached Jensen slowly, a sincerely baffled look on his face. “What’s with the candles and the ‘sappy gay playlist’ as you call it?” Jared asked with a smirk. 

Jensen was shaking a bit and took another deep breath. He took Jared’s hands in his and cleared his throat. “Jared, I know that it’s only been six months and that we’ve moved pretty fast. I knew right away that I loved you and that has grown so much stronger over the last six months. I love going to bed with you every night and waking up to you every day. You’re my best friend and the love of my life, and I know this is kinda crazy, but it’s also _right_. I feel it in every fiber of my being. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” 

Jensen got down on his knee and pulled the small box out of his pocket, opening it and revealing a beautiful white gold band with small diamonds wrapped around the band. “Jared Tristan Padalecki, will you marry me?”

Jared stood there in shock, tears stinging his eyes. He looked at this beautiful man and his face broke into a glowing smile. “Yes! Of course! Yes!” he exclaimed, happy tears beginning to stream down his face. Jensen took out the ring and slid it on Jared’s finger. He stood up, still holding his hands, and they kissed passionately, a kiss full of love and promise.

When they parted Jared said, “I want you to have a ring, too. I will have to go to have one made for you.” 

Jensen let go of Jared and walked back to their bedroom, Jared following curiously. Jensen opened the nightstand and pulled out another box. “I had two made. I designed them and had an inscription put on both.” Jared took Jensen’s ring, and squinted to read the small writing on the inside of the band: J2 forever. It was simple and sweet, but meant everything. 

Jared slid the ring on Jensen’s finger and whispered, “I can’t believe we’re engaged. I can’t wait to marry you.” 

Jensen pulled Jared in for a heated kiss. Quickly their clothes came off and they fell onto the bed. Jensen took Jared slowly, kissing him like his life depended on it as he slid inside. Their bodies rocked together, trading kisses and soft touches, and “I love yous” before they came, holding each other’s gaze. 

“I’m gonna marry you,” Jared whispered lovingly. 

“Bet your sweet ass you are.” Jensen smiled back. 

They cleaned up and Jared got out his phone to take a picture of his hand. He posted it on all of his social media accounts with the heading, “I said yes!”. He then texted all of their friends the same picture while Jensen called his mother. Within minutes their phones were flooded with texts, notifications, and calls. They smiled at each other as they retold their engagement story repeatedly to their friends and family. Jared called his mom when he had a break from incoming calls. 

“Hi Momma. So, I have some big news,” he said through his dimpled smile. 

“What’s that dear?” she asked. 

“Jensen asked me to marry him, and I said yes!” 

She squealed, “Oh that’s great honey, it’s about time! We were wondering when he was finally going to ask after he called us asking permission two months ago!” 

Jared was stunned; he looked over at Jensen who was on yet another call and his mouth hung open. 

Jensen looked back at him. “What?” he asked. 

“You asked my parents’ permission?” Jared said, his voice high pitched. 

Jensen blushed profusely. “Yes. So?” he asked a little concerned that Jared was upset. 

“Momma, I gotta go kiss my fiancé. Tell Dad and everyone for me.” 

Sherry laughed. “Okay, sweetie. Tell Jensen welcome to the family. Love you baby,” she said through a laugh. 

“Love you too, Mom.” He hung up the phone and walked toward Jensen, pulling him into a kiss. Jared heard someone shouting on the phone, “I can _hear_ you fuckers making out. Can’t it wait until you’re off the phone!” 

Jensen pulled back and laughed. “Sorry Jay. But, I’m gonna go.” Jensen hung up with Jason and pulled Jared back into another long, deep kiss. 

“When did you call my parents?” Jared asked, grinning at Jensen. 

“Couple months ago, right after my birthday. I called your mom and had her put it on speaker with her and your dad. I told them I wanted to propose and they asked if I had really thought about it, said it was pretty fast, but when I told them how much I love you and how we felt from the moment we’d met, they were on board and gave their blessing. Your mom has called four times asking when I was going to do it. I had to tell her that it was going to be awhile and she would know right away when I did.” Jared chuckled, he knew his mom was impatient, a trait he inherited from her. Jared and Jensen made their way over to the couch and made out like teenagers the rest of the night. 

The next day, Jensen’s parents picked them up at noon for lunch. They took the boys out to a nice steak house to celebrate not only Jensen’s upcoming graduation, but also the new engagement. Jensen’s mother made a tearful toast to the boys, “Jensen honey, I’m so very proud of you. You have grown into this smart, talented, amazing young man and you have found another wonderful young man to travel this journey of life with, Jared, we love you for making our Jensen so happy, for truly loving our boy, and we welcome you to the family with open arms. To Jensen and Jared, may you live a long and happy life together and bring many grandchildren into our family.” 

Jensen and Jared had watery eyes but laughed at the grandkids comment. “Uh, mom, you know we can’t give you grandkids, we have the wrong parts to have babies.” 

Donna threw her head back and laughed, a trait Jensen got from her. “Sure you can, there is adoption or surrogacy! You can give us grandkids.” 

Jensen and Jared laughed, nodding their heads and Jared said, “Let me finish college first, then we can talk about babies.” 

Jensen’s eyes widened. “Jay, do you want kids?” Jensen asked nervously. 

“I mean, I’ve never really thought much about it because I knew I was gay and couldn’t have any, but yeah, I would love to have kids with you,” Jared admitted. 

Jensen smiled so wide his face could have cracked, the crinkles around his eyes that Jared loved so much were deep and he said, “Yeah, I’d love to have kids with you, too.” He leaned over and kissed Jared to the sound of a collective “Awww” from his family. “Shadddup,” Jensen teased.

They finished their lunch and went back to Jensen and Jared’s apartment to find their house full of their friends and a huge banner that said ‘Congratulations Jensen and Jared’. There was finger food on the table and an array of drinks in two coolers underneath. All of their friends were in the living room or the kitchen, talking and laughing. 

Jensen exclaimed, “What the fuck? How did you guys do all this and who let you in?” 

Gen greeted both of them with big hugs. “Jared gave me a spare key. He’s always losing shit and wanted me to have one in case he got locked out and you were at work or class,” she answered, then added, “We all chipped in and put this together, which wasn’t easy for such little time.” 

There was a knock at the door and Jared and Jensen looked confused, “I think everyone we know is here!” Jensen joked as and Jared went to find out who could possibly be there. They opened the door to find Jared’s mom, dad, sister and brother. 

“Mom, Dad? What the hell? What are you guys doing here?” he asked. 

Jared’s mother pulled him into a tight hug. “Gen called us last night after we talked to you and she said she was throwing together a party to celebrate your engagement and Jensen’s graduation. We booked flights last night and left this morning, so surprise! We hope it’s okay that we crashed your graduation Jensen,” Sherry said pulling Jensen into a bone-crushing hug. 

“Yes ma’am. It’s so nice to finally meet you in person!” 

Jensen was introduced and received hugs from Jared’s sister, brother, and even his dad hugged him and patted his back with a firm, “Welcome to the family, son.” 

Jensen did _not_ get choked up, nope. He said to the Padalecki clan, “Please come in and meet my family and our friends.” 

Gen came running over, tackling the Padaleckis with hugs and kisses. “Mom, Dad, Meggie, Jeff, I missed you all so much!” 

They all laughed and exchanged hellos. Jensen gathered his family and they introduced them all. Their fathers took to talking about their jobs and sports, while Megan and Mac decided to discuss the wedding and what their roles would be, especially the planning. Sherry and Donna sat at the table and exchanged cute stories about the boys. 

Sherry reached out and grabbed Donna’s hand and said, “I wanted to commend you and your husband on raising such a wonderful young man. Jensen was so very sweet when he called to ask permission to propose to our Jared. You don’t get a lot of that anymore and I found it very comforting that he was raised with such great morals and values that he would ask.” Sherry smiled and glanced over at their sons. “He and Jared really seem to be a great match. I was concerned with how fast it was moving, but Jared has never moved fast in relationships, so I figured that Jensen had to be a special boy. Turns out I was right.” 

Donna wiped the tears from her eyes, “Thank you, Sherry. We really are proud of that boy. He and Jared fit together like a glove. Watching them together last night and today I can tell clearly that this isn’t just infatuation, that it really is love, and I am very happy that Jared will be part of the family. As far as them moving fast, my Jen is the same way, he doesn’t move fast. When he skipped Christmas to stay home with Jared, I knew that this must be love. The way they look at each other when they think no one is watching, or how they look at each other when the other isn’t looking... If they were cartoons, hearts would be coming out of their eyes! They’re very sweet together.” Just as she said that, both moms looked up to see their sons standing off against the wall together with no one around them and looking into each other’s eyes smiling at one another. Then Jensen raised his hand to gently push the hair out of Jared’s eyes and with Jared beaming at him, he leaned down to kiss the tip of his nose. Both moms awed at the sight. 

The boys heard their mothers and walked over to sit with them. “Should we be worried? Are you guys over here plotting world domination?” Jensen teased. Jared laughed with both moms. 

“No honey, we were just talking about how sweet you boys are and what a great match you make,” Sherry said. 

Jensen put his arm around Jared, pulling him down enough to kiss his temple. “Yeah, we are a pretty great team, nothing we can’t do together.” 

Jared smiled and agreed, “Yeah, nothing. We can get through anything as long as we are together.” 

The party lasted until late in the night. The parents all left earlier, deciding to go out to dinner together to get to know one another better, while the siblings stayed behind to hang with their brothers and friends. The parents all took one vehicle, leaving the other for the kids. Once things had wound down, it was just Jared, Jensen and their siblings. It was nice to sit and talk, for them to get to know each other. It was clear that Megan and Mackenzie were going to be great friends, and Jeff and Josh seemed to hit off really well, too. Jensen and Jared felt so relaxed and happy. 

Josh, who was driving his dad’s car back to the hotel stood up and said, “Well, as fun as it’s been, I think it’s time we hit the road. Gotta let the college grad get some sleep so he doesn’t sleep through the ceremony tomorrow.” 

Jensen chuckled, “I’m sure I will fall asleep at some point anyway with all the boring speeches. But yeah, I’m getting pretty tired.” 

They said their goodbyes and the siblings left. Jared and Jensen made their way to their bedroom. 

“That was fun, really nice of Gen to organize everything. I know she said it was everyone, but we know that Gen was the one who did most of the work,” Jensen said followed by a long yawn. 

“Yeah,” Jared replied, “She’s an awesome friend. Is it okay to have her in the wedding? I kinda want her to be my best woman.” 

Jensen chuckled, “Don’t you think Jeff would be upset?” 

Jared answered, “Nah. I mean, he’s marrying Beth in a few months and I’m not his best man. He knows I love him, but Gen and I have been friends since middle school. It feels right to have her be in that position.” 

Jensen nodded in agreement. He added, “I don’t know, I might ask Josh to be mine, but I’m pretty sure I’m gonna ask Chris, Mike, Steve, and Misha to be groomsmen. And Danneel should be a, what would we call it grooms maid?” 

Jared giggled, “Yeah, we can have D, Gen, Mac and Meggie represent the ladies. I want to ask Jason to be a groomsman, too. Would that be okay?” 

Jensen smiled. “Of course. If it wasn’t for Jay, we would have never met.”

They both stripped down to their boxer briefs and crawled into bed. “I’m so beat!” Jared yawned, “C’mere,” he said pulling Jensen into his arms and kissing him softly. “Love you,” he whispered into Jensen’s mouth. 

“Love you, too,” Jensen whispered back. Jensen rolled to his side, pulling Jared’s arm around him. “You can be big spoon tonight.” 

Jared chuckled low in his throat. “’Bout damn time.” He scooted closer to Jensen and wrapped his arm tightly around him, kissing the back of Jensen’s neck. Against his skin he said softly, “Night babe.” 

Jensen pulled Jared’s hand up to his mouth kissing his knuckles and said back, “Night Jay.”

The next morning was quite hectic. Jensen had to be at the venue at eight am, but he let Jared sleep in since the graduation didn’t begin until ten. He left Jared a note, **See you there, I’ll be in the cap and gown. Love you** , and drove over to the venue, meeting up with some of his classmates and getting to where they needed to meet to get lined up. Some of the people he went through school with were his friends on social media, but weren’t people he typically hung out with, being as shy as he was, and the fact that he didn’t really like a lot of people. He found his spot in line and a couple girls were giggling and approaching him. He felt his face get hot and knew he was blushing.

“Hey Jensen,” Kristin said, Ally standing next to her, “So, we saw on facebook that you got engaged! Congrats, but… we didn’t know you were gay!” 

Jensen looked down at the ground shuffling his feet. “Yeah, thanks, and you never asked.” 

The girls giggled a bit. “Well your fiancé is gorgeous. You are too, bet the sex is–" 

“KRISTIN!” Ally shouted, turning various shades of red, “So far over the line dude.” 

Kristin shrugged, her long brown hair cascading over her shoulder. “Sorry, I’m just sayin.” 

Jensen was annoyed, but he replied just to make the girls go away, “My sex life with my fiancé is absolutely mind blowing. We have it recorded if you’d like to come over and watch. Just bring beer.” He winked and then walked away to find the restroom, leaving the girls gaping. He pulled out his phone and texted Jared.

  


Jensen felt his dick harden. Great. Now was _not_ the time. He was in a stall with a door, so he pulled his dick out, stroked it a couple times then texted Jared. 

Jensen took short video of his hard cock in his hand, and he jerked it a few times and moaned, “Oh Jare, wish you were here.” The video was about twenty seconds long of him jerking off and moaning. He sent it to Jared and waited.

He was worried when he didn’t get a response, but waited in the bathroom to avoid any more unwelcome conversations. He also needed to finish what he started so he didn’t go back out with a rock hard dick. He knew he had about twenty minutes before he had to be out in line. 

The bathroom door flew open and he heard, “Jen. Where. ARE. You?” 

Jensen smiled and opened the stall. “How did you get here so fa-" He was cut off by Jared’s mouth eating at his. He pushed Jensen back into the stall and undid Jensen’s suit pants and then his own, letting both pair fall to the floor. 

“Jen, I’m gonna fuck you,” Jared growled. 

Jensen was pleasantly surprised to see the dominant side of Jared. Without a word Jensen dropped to his knees and took Jared’s enormous length in his mouth, sucking eagerly. “Fuck Jen, I need to, gotta be in you,” Jared moaned. 

Jensen pulled off with a pop. “Needed to get it wet, we don’t have any lube and you’re not dry fucking me so I can’t walk up on the stage.” 

Jared nodded, his eyes blown with lust. He lifted Jensen up and Jensen wrapped his legs around Jared’s waist, marveling at how strong Jared was, how he made it look as easy as picking up a baby. He slid into Jensen’s tight hole, causing Jensen to take in a sharp breath.

A few small thrusts and he was almost all the way in. Jensen pulled his legs tighter around Jared, which pulled him in all the way. Jared fucked into him with no abandon. The angle was perfect for him to hit Jensen’s prostate with every thrust and in a few short minutes, Jensen was coming hard, his dick untouched. The sight of his fiancé falling apart in his arms sent him over the edge and Jared came deep inside Jensen. 

“Have fun feeling that drip out of you during graduation,” Jared chuckled. 

“Fuck you,” Jensen panted, smiling. 

They got cleaned up quickly and Jared gave Jensen a quick kiss goodbye and one for good luck. Jensen got back to his place in line and with only a minute or two to spare. The graduates marched up the aisles to their seats. The crowd was pretty large and Jensen had no idea where Jared and their families were in the mass of people. The graduation got underway once the graduates took their seats. They sat through all of the boring speeches until, finally, they got through the graduates. 

Jensen was one of the first called and he heard his section of family and friends cheering loudly for him, accepting his diploma with a wide smile. 

Once the ceremony was over Jensen made his way through the crowd to find his family and friends. He was greeted by a very excited fiancé who hugged him so tight he lifted him off the ground. “So proud of you babe. Congratulations!” Jared said excitedly. 

He got hugs from all of them, and they all took numerous photos. They all made their way to the cars. Gen drove Jared’s back with some of their friends so Jensen and Jared could ride together, and they all met at a nice restaurant to celebrate. The Padalecki and Ackles parents all sat next to each other, making Jared and Jensen smile. They were so happy their families hit it off and got along so well. Jared’s mom told them they would be flying out later that night and they couldn’t wait to see them in a few more weeks for their visit. Jensen’s parents were set to leave the following morning. The boys had a few days to themselves after that to prepare for their two-week vacation. Between finishing up work and packing for the trip, they made the most of their days, enjoying their engagement and Jensen being free of school.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trip back to texas. calm before the storm. enjoy.

They were so happy to be getting out of California for a couple weeks but as they boarded their plane, Jared noticed Jensen fidgeting a bit. “Don’t like flying?” he asked.

Jensen huffed out a breath, “It’s not my favorite. Once I’m in the air I’m okay. It’s the take off and landing I’m not a fan of.” 

Jared held his nervous fiancé’s hand and whispered comforting words to him as the plane took off. The flight wasn’t too long, and thankfully it was smooth. 

They touched down in Dallas Fort Worth airport and deplaned fairly quickly. Jensen’s father was there to greet them; he gave the boys hugs before they headed to the baggage claim. They grabbed their suitcases and loaded them into Alan’s SUV before heading back to the Ackles family home. They made small talk on the ride there, and Jensen’s dad mentioned again how proud he was of his son, causing Jensen to blush. His only criticism of his son was, “I wish you’d take that stupid thing out of your lip.” 

Jensen rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry dad, I’m gonna have to when I start teaching. It’ll probably close up quickly.” 

Jared was a little sad over that. It turned him on so much to watch Jensen use his tongue to toy with it when he was nervous or horny. He was glad Jensen wore his glasses regularly. Occasionally he wore contacts, but they irritated his sensitive eyes so he didn’t do it often. Jared thought Jensen looked hot in his glasses, especially paired with his slouch beanie. The beanie he’d been wearing less because it was summer and it was hot. Jared would get giddy when Jensen decided to wear one anyway, like he was then. He glanced over his sexy finance wearing his black slouch beanie, black rimmed glasses, green t-shirt that matched his eyes, and black fitted jeans. 

Jensen and his father bantered back and forth the rest of the way and Jared just sat back and enjoyed watching and listening to the father and son and how similar their relationship was to his own with his father. 

“So what do you think, Jare?” Jensen asked snapping Jared out of his thoughts. 

“Uh, what? Sorry babe, wasn’t paying attention.” 

Alan chuckled and Jensen playfully rolled his eyes. “See what I deal with Dad!” he joked, “We were talking about the wedding. What do you think about getting married in Texas?” 

Jared smiled widely. “Yeah, I love that idea.” 

Jensen grinned back at him. 

When they pulled into the Ackles’ home, they moved to the back to start unloading the car. “We’ll take you boys to get a rental tomorrow so you have your own car to drive and you’ll have it for San Antonio,” Alan said as they carried the bags up the walkway. 

They were greeted inside by more hugs from Mac and Donna. Mac, who was going into her senior year of high school, hugged her brother as if she hadn’t just see him a few days ago. She still had a few days left of school before summer break and her parents were making her go to them since she took a few days off to go to California for Jensen’s graduation. 

“Hey Mac-Attack,” Jensen said sweetly, swinging his baby sister around, “Where’s Josh?” 

Donna took over the hug and said, “He’s at work. He will be over later.” 

Josh had graduated from college a few years earlier and worked as an accountant. Jared was greeted with hugs from the family as well and they made their way up to Jensen’s old room to set their bags down and take showers. 

“I need to get the airplane smell off me,” Jensen grimaced as he rifled through his suitcase for clean clothes. Jared saw him bent over and took the opportunity to mess with him, grabbing his waist and thrusting his crotch into Jensen’s ass. “Hey now, none of that mister. Not getting frisky at my parent’s house,” Jensen laughed smacking Jared away from him. 

Jared chuckled. “I know, just saw you bent over, couldn’t resist. Love that ass.” 

Jensen blushed and rolled his eyes. “Dork,” he teased as he got his stuff together to shower. “I’m gonna take a quick shower, if you want to take one now you can use the main bathroom in the hall, or you can just wait and use this one when I’m done,” he said gesturing toward the bathroom that was attached to his bedroom. 

“I’m good waiting, or we can shower together.” Jared wiggled his eyebrows. 

“Not gonna happen perv,” Jensen laughed. 

“No fun,” Jared pouted. He really had no intention of any sexual activity with Jensen, he was just being playful. Jensen stripped down to his boxer briefs and winked at Jared as he walked into the bathroom. “Tease!” Jared shouted after him. He could hear Jensen laugh as he started the shower. 

While Jensen showered, Jared unpacked their things and put them away, leaving out clothes for himself for after he showered. He and Jensen both hated the feeling of yuck after being on a plane. Jensen emerged from the bathroom with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist, his hair still slightly dripping and beads of water still formed on his chest.

Jared groaned, “Ugh, you’re killing me Ackles. I get the no sex in the family house thing, but can you, like, I don’t know, not flaunt your sexy ass in front of me like that? It’s just cruel.”

Jensen grinned at his fiancé. “I would say I’m sorry, but I’m not.” He winked at Jared and removed the towel to dry of the rest of the water from his body. He then bent over, ass facing Jared, to pick up the clothes he had dropped. 

Jared moaned and grabbed his things before huffing off into the bathroom. 

“Don’t jerk off in there, dude,” Jensen called after him. 

“I hate you so much right now,” Jared called back. 

Once Jared finished showering he realized he left his clean boxers out in the bedroom, so he dried off and went out there completely naked. He opened the door and waltzed across the room. Jensen was laying back against the pillows reading a book. He glanced up to see all six foot five of Jared completely naked, and bending over. 

_Payback is a bitch_ , Jensen thought. He slowly eased off the bed and quietly crept over to Jared, pulling the same move Jared pulled on him earlier, causing Jared to yelp. 

“Jen! Damn it! No, you were such a tease earlier, I legitimately forgot my underwear out here.” Jared swatted at Jensen’s hands, which were gripped tightly to his hips, his jean clad crotch pressed tightly against his ass. 

“Yeah, but you’re way hotter than me, Jared. I can’t resist that sweet ass all bent over and waiting for me.” Jensen’s whiskey rough voice oozed sex and Jared’s cock twitched with interest. 

Jared pushed Jensen off of him, leaving Jensen pouting. “No. You said it, no sex in the parents’ houses. We agreed.” Jared slipped his boxer briefs on and Jensen grabbed his waist and pulled him close. 

“Yeah, I know,” he said breathing heavy, “But there are _other_ things we could do…” 

Jared raised an eyebrow. “Well whatever you’re thinking, knock it off. Your family is downstairs waiting for us. No sexy time right now.” 

Jensen chuckled. “Sexy time,” he said teasingly. Jared frowned and playfully smacked Jensen’s shoulder. Jensen pulled Jared in for a quick kiss. “Sorry babe, you’re just irresistible.” 

Jared rolled his eyes. “Oh and by the way? I’m so not hotter than you. You’re like, a Greek God, the most beautiful man I’ve ever laid eyes on. So don’t give me that shit,” Jared said quickly kissing Jensen again. He peeled Jensen’s hands off him and finished getting dressed while Jensen watched him. “Quit staring stalker,” Jared teased. 

Once he was finished, they went downstairs and spent the afternoon with Jensen’s family. Josh arrived in the evening and Donna cooked dinner for everyone. After the dishes were done, which Jared volunteered him and Jensen to do earning extra points with Jensen’s mom, there was a knock on the door.

Mack went to answer it and they could hear the awkward conversation from the living room. “Uh, hey, what are you doing here?” Mack said, voice nervous. 

“I’m here to see Jen, heard he was coming back to town. Wanted to catch up,” a familiar voice said. 

Jensen rolled his eyes. “Who fucking told him I was coming home?” Jensen said annoyed. 

Donna answered, “He must have found out from someone, I told some of my friends, so did your dad and Josh and Mack. Word travels fast around here honey, you know Richardson isn’t a big town.” 

Jensen stood up, looking at Jared he said, “I’ll be right back.” He stalked out of the room and told Mack she could go back to the family. “Riley, seriously, what the fuck do you want?” 

Riley, Jensen’s ex who broke his heart after dating two years in high school, was standing there with his stupid crooked grin. Riley was Jensen’s first love, his first real relationship, and Jensen caught Riley cheating on him -- literally walked in on Riley fucking another guy. The breakup was ugly. 

Afterwards, Jensen had been gun-shy for a long time, avoided relationships for years. Jared was his longest relationship since then. He stared daggers at Riley when he finally answered, “You, Jen. I want you. I know it’s been a long time, and I know you’ve moved on, but I haven’t stopped thinking about you all these years. I know I was awful to you, cheated on you and said terrible things when we broke up, but I didn’t mean it, man. We were young and I was mixed up. I fucked up big time, but I miss you. Please, can I just take you out?” 

Before Jensen could even begin to form a response, Jared stepped around the corner, straightening his normally slouchy stance to his full height. He wrapped his arms around Jensen from behind, placing a kiss on Jensen’s neck before saying quietly, “Babe, who’s this? Everything okay?” 

Jensen knew Jared must’ve overheard Riley, and as much as Riley being there pissed him off, Jensen thought the jealousy was kind of cute. “This is nobody and he’s just leaving,” Jensen said staring hard at Riley, “Riley, this is my fiancé, Jared. I think it’s time for you to go.”

Riley stood staring at the two men. He frowned and said, “Seriously, Jen, consider what I said.” 

Jensen huffed out an annoyed laugh, “Yeah, not gonna happen, and I just told you I’m engaged to be _married_ and that’s your response? Unlike you, I’m not into cheating on and breaking the heart of someone who loves me, and turns out, Jared is the love of my life. I don’t need anyone or want anyone else, especially ghosts from my past.” 

With that, he shut the door in Riley’s face and leaned back into Jared’s embrace. 

“So, that’s the famous Riley, huh?” Jared said turning Jensen in his arms to hold him, “You okay babe?” Jared whispered. 

Jensen held Jared tight. “Yeah, I’m over him and what he did, just seeing him here pissed me off, but it didn’t hurt or upset me. Just irritated that he had the nerve to do that. If he had heard I was coming home then I know he heard I was getting married, he probably figured it was his last chance to try to get me back. I mean, I come home every Christmas, minus last Christmas, and every summer for a few weeks. You would think if he felt that way or missed me that much he would try _before_ I was engaged. Fuck him. I don’t want his asinine appearance to ruin our day. Let’s go back and spend time with my family.”

Jensen’s foul mood slowly ebbed away after spending time with Jared and his family. He hadn’t seen or thought about Riley in years, and the fact that Riley would pick now, of all times, to show up really had him heated for a while. Jared didn’t say much, he just let Jensen work through it, but he was rubbing his back gently or sitting close with his hand on his thigh, showing his love and support. Jared really didn’t know what to say or do to make him feel better, so he stayed silent. 

The family broke Jensen out of his mood by telling funny stories about Jensen, Josh, and Mac as kids, and even went so far as to pull out photo albums, mostly to embarrass Jensen. Jared was laughing so hard he was crying looking back at some of the fashion choices. Brick pants? Really? And some of the hairstyles like the frosted tips.

Jensen had to laugh at himself because he knew he looked ridiculous. “Mom, how could you let me walk out of the house in that? A _halter_ superman shirt? Ugh, such a twink. And Jared, just wait, I’m so asking your mom to see your awkward years!”

Jared’s laughter faltered and said, “God, no Jen, at least you were still attractive! I was all legs and arms and goofy looking.” 

Jensen smiled widely. “Can’t wait to see it!” He and Jared began wrestling playfully until Donna told them to knock it off and set the table while she fixed up dessert. They had dessert as a family and exchanged stories about Texas, and Jensen told his family about life in California. 

The next few days, they took Jared sightseeing. Jensen showed him all the places he went as a kid and they dropped in on some of Jensen’s old buddies to say hello. They all went out to eat at the family’s favorite steak house and told more embarrassing Jensen stories, for which he groaned and bitched. They had a small get together for Jensen’s graduation, family and close friends, and they also announced the engagement officially to Jensen’s extended family, who all fell in love with Jared right away. 

It was nice and before they knew it, the week was up. Jensen reluctantly said goodbye to his family, hugging everyone more than once, tears welling up in his eyes. Jensen’s mom took Jared aside and said, “I know I don’t need to say this, but be good to my boy, take care of him. You two will make it, and I can’t wait for the wedding.” 

They hugged tightly and Jared, too, left with tears in his eyes, now feeling like part of the family more than ever.

The drive to Jared’s family went by quickly as the boys talked and sang along to the Texas road trip playlist Jared insisted on making for the trip. Jensen rolled his eyes but secretly loved it. Half way through the trip they started talking about the wedding and the possibilities of where they could have it in Texas. Jared got quiet for a few moments, concerning Jensen, who reached his hand over and took Jared’s. 

“What’s wrong babe?” he asked. 

Jared smiled shyly and looked at his fiancé and said, “I want your name.” 

Jensen stared at the road as he drove. “What?” he asked, not exactly sure he heard Jared right.

“I want to take your name. I love my family, I will always be a Padalecki, but you asked me to marry you, and I want to do something semi-traditional. So I have been putting a lot of thought into it. First, I thought we could just hyphenate, but that’s just way too long and if we ever have kids, that’s child abuse. I’ve really thought about it Jensen. I want to be Jared Ackles.” 

If Jensen’s smile were any wider, his face would have broken. “I love you, Jay, but you don’t have to do that. I can be a Padalecki,” he said squeezing Jared’s hand. 

Jared looked at his fiancé very seriously and said, “No, Jen. I want this. And... I already talked to my parents about it and they agree. Not only is it the right thing, but I want it. I want me and you, and whatever kids we bring into this world, to be Ackles.” 

Jensen pulled the car over onto the shoulder of the highway startling Jared. He got out of the drivers seat and went around to the passenger’s door, swinging it open forcefully and pulling Jared out of the car, slamming him against the back door and started kissing him desperately. It took Jared a second to catch up, but when he did, he wrapped his arms around Jensen’s strong frame and pulled him in tighter, their tongues fighting for dominance in the most heated kiss they’d ever shared. 

When Jensen pulled back he dropped his forehead to Jared’s chin. “I love you so much baby. _So_ , so, so much. I would be honored for you to take my name and to give our children my name. God Jare, you are amazing,” he said kissing Jared again, softer this time. Just as quickly as he pulled Jared out of the car, he pulled back, walked back to the driver’s side and got in. 

Jared was already back in, buckling his seatbelt and grinning his dimpled grin. “I love you, Jen,” he said softly. 

“Love you, too,” Jensen replied, taking Jared’s hand in his again as he sped back down the highway to San Antonio.

They arrived at the Padalecki family home a couple hours later and were greeted in the same way they were at the Ackles’ home. Jensen pulled Jared’s mom aside and whispered something in her ear, making her giggle and say, “Oh my dear, plenty.”

Jensen grinned, satisfied, then winked at a confused Jared. “What are you talking to my mom about?” Jensen just smiled and Jared whined, “Jen, secrets don’t make friends!”

Jensen rolled his eyes and laughed as he hugged the rest of the Padalecki clan and said hello. Jared hugged his family then led Jensen up to his old room where they would be staying. 

“So, what did you say to my mom?” Jared asked again. 

“Nothin’ Jare, let it go,” Jensen said grinning again. 

“No Jen, you and my mom are plotting something against me! Now what is it?” 

Just as he raised an eyebrow expectantly waiting for an answer, they heard Sherry yell, “Jensen, sweetie, can you come here a minute?” 

Jensen was at the door in a flash, Jared hot on his heels trying to pull him back. “ _What_ does she need _you_ for?” Jared asked, out of breath from chasing Jensen down the stairs. 

Sherry sat in the living room with several photo albums open, boxes of photos of Jared as a child with numerous pictures all ready for display. Jared blushed instantly. “ _No_ Ma, come on! This isn’t fair! I saw like four embarrassing pictures of Jensen and you bring out every horrifying picture ever taken of me,” Jared whined. 

Jensen was giddy, laughing as he took a spot next to Sherry on the couch, who ignored Jared. 

“Mom come _on_ ,” Jared tried again. 

“Now Jared,” she said, “I love all of these pictures of you and I don’t think any of them are that bad. Oh, except maybe that one… and this one,” she said handing pictures to Jensen who was in tears laughing. Jared plopped down next to Jensen and honestly couldn’t help laughing himself. 

“Wow, what a dork,” he said, “Mom what the hell, why would you allow me to dress like this?”

They sat around for a couple hours embarrassing Jared and telling stories to go along with the pictures. Jensen mouthed ‘payback’ to him to which Jared flipped him off laughing.

They ate dinner as a family, sat in the living room for a movie together, then Jensen and Jared went upstairs to bed. They got down to their boxers and crawled into bed. “I really, really want you. I know we can’t, I just want you to know,” Jensen whispered in Jared’s ear while spooning him. He was big spoon, a fact that still annoyed Jared. The words made Jared shiver. 

“I know baby, I -- _fuck_ \-- I know. Few more days, yeah? Then we can fuck like bunnies forever.” Jensen chuckled, that low raspy laugh of his which made Jared’s dick jump in his boxers. “Fuck,” he whispered, “Few more days.”

Those few days ended up flying right by. They did much of the same activities that they did with Jensen’s family, adding a day to check out some venues for a wedding. Jensen talked to Jared’s family and said if Jared is taking his name, then the least they could do was get married in San Antonio. Jared’s mom cried and hugged Jensen. She found several places to take the boys after that and Jared nudged Jensen, “You’re goin’ to regret that,” he teased. Jensen knew he wouldn’t, because the fact was he really didn’t care where he married Jared, just that he was _marrying_ Jared.

They drove back to the airport, dropping the car off at the rental location there. They had said their goodbyes to Jared’s family, his mom and sister in tears as they left. They boarded the plane and Jensen laid his head down on Jared’s shoulder. “Man, I am so glad we went, I had a blast, but I can not wait to get home and chill.” 

Jared laughed, “First we fuck, then we chill.” 

The flight attendant walked by just as he said that and looked at him with wide eyes making Jensen double over laughing. “Smooth Jare,” he said between gasps.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *WARNING* THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS A RAPE SCENE. IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO READ IT SKIP THIS CHAPTER- and the aftermath will be mostly the next chapter or two. A lot of angst, hurt, comfort, PTSD in this and the next few chapters.

 

The flight went by quickly with the pair napping most of the way, and Christian and Gen were there to pick them up at the airport.

“Missed you losers,” Gen said playfully. She hugged both boys and Christian laughed his agreement, hugging them both with a pat on the back.

“So, we know you guys probably want to get some rest today, but we thought maybe tonight we can go out for a drink and catch up?” Chris said, eyes pleading.

Jensen rolled his eyes. “I don’t know man, maybe. Jared and I kinda want to just relax, but we’ll see.” He looked at Jared who shrugged and then sighed. “One drink.”

Gen and Chris smiled, knowing Jensen couldn’t resist them. They got the boys bags and headed to Christian’s car. The drive from the airport wasn’t long, and soon enough they were being dropped off at their apartment. Chris had to run Gen home and told them to meet up around eight.

Jared unlocked the door, immediately dropping his bags and sighing heavily. He was so happy to be home. Jensen followed suit, shutting and locking the door before quickly pressing Jared up against the wall and kissed him hungrily. He ground against him, swallowing down the surprised moan spilling from his boyfriend’s mouth.

“Not wasting anytime?” Jared teased, his voice shaky with want. His hands took purchase on Jensen’s hips and pulled him in tighter.

They made out against the wall for a while before Jensen dragged him towards the couch, undressing each other the entire way. He sat down, pulling Jared on his lap so the taller man straddled him. Their hard cocks rubbed together, causing them both to moan.

Jensen grabbed Jared’s waist, flipping him onto his back “Get yourself ready,” Jensen demanded, his deep voice shooting straight to Jared’s dick.

Jared reached behind his head to the end table, quickly pulling the lube they stashed there out of the drawer. They were so turned on they knew this would be quick and needy, and that’s exactly what they wanted. Jared opened himself up quickly, grunting at the quick stretch and burn, before he used the remaining lube on his fingers to slick Jensen up. Jared’s legs opened wide, his knees moving up to his chest, and Jensen slid his thick throbbing cock into Jared’s tight heat slowly, eyes rolling back in his head and a guttural moan escaping his lips. Jared moaned with him and Jensen did his best not to thrust until Jared was ready.

Once Jensen was fully sheathed in Jared’s body, he kissed him hard and dirty as he began rocking his hips. Jensen’s hands gripped Jared’s hips and began fucking into him hard, Jared grinding his hips to match his thrusts. It only lasted a few minutes, Jared shooting cum all over both of them, his dick untouched. Seconds later he felt Jensen’s warmth inside him.

They were sweating, panting and kissing as Jensen rested his body on top of Jared, Jared’s legs wrapped around Jensen’s hips. “‘M staying right here until I’m hard enough to fuck you again, once isn’t enough” he whispered between kisses and nips.

Jared sighed out a “Yes,” and began grinding against Jensen. Jared was already getting hard again which was turning Jensen on. It only took a few minutes of kissing and grinding before they were both ready to go and Jensen began fucking him again, slow and deep.

Jared let out a cry, “Fuck Jensen, so good.”

Jensen smiled into Jared’s neck. “Missed this,” he moaned. Quickly Jensen found Jared’s prostate and had him nearly bolt up off the couch, yelling Jensen’s name he began rocking and swiveling his hips as Jensen fucked him, knowing how much that drove Jensen crazy. Jensen reached between them and started stroking Jared.

“Love you baby, missed feeling you,” he breathed into Jared’s mouth.

Jared was so hot, all he could do was nod and moan. A few strokes later, Jared was coming hard, pushing Jensen over the edge and causing him to spill inside Jared again with a long, deep moan. They lay there peppering kisses on each other a few more minutes before getting up and showering.

Jensen cooked them dinner and they ate cuddled up on the couch. After dropping their plates off into the sink, Jensen checked his email, knowing he had some important ones coming from his new job, while Jared got ready to go out.

“Fuck, Jare. I’m gonna have to meet you there. I just got a fuck ton of paperwork emailed by the school that they need by tomorrow,” Jensen sighed as Jared came out of the bedroom. His boyfriend looked disappointed but he understood.

“Okay, I’ll just walk down there. Get finished and try to meet up for one drink babe, but if you’re too tired, just text me and I’ll come home,” Jared said kissing Jensen softly before heading to the door.

“Hey Jared,” Jensen called out.

Jared turned around as he opened the door, “Yeah babe?”

“Love you,” Jensen said, smiling at him.

“Love you, too,” Jared replied with a wink and left to meet his friends.

Jensen sighed and began printing out the mountain of paper he needed to fill out to be a teacher.

 

Gen, Danneel, Misha and the “usual suspects” were all at the bar waiting when Jared got there.

“Where’s Jensen?” Chris asked.

“Had paperwork to do. He was working on it when I left, said he would try to meet up later,” Jared explained.

The group sat and caught up for a couple hours, Jared checking his phone every once in a while to see if Jensen had texted. Jared had a few beers, enough to catch a small buzz but not get drunk, when the text came in.

Jared sighed. He’d figured this would happen. He knew Jensen was already tired from the trip and the hot sex they had. He shot Jensen a text back.

He told the crew he was gonna head on home, and naturally, they gave him a bunch of shit. Truthfully, he was tired too and the beer made him even more relaxed; if he wanted to get home without falling asleep on the table top right then and there, it was time for him to leave anyways. He said his goodbyes then headed out the door. He’d made it one block when he felt something hard hit the back of his head, knocking his beanie off.

He stumbled forward and tried to spin around, getting dizzy in the process. He felt someone grab him tightly and drag him down the damp dark alley. “What the fuck!?” he gasped out, struggling with trying to wrap his head around what was happening, struggling against the hidden stranger’s grip.

Whoever had him, hit him again. _That’s not a fist_ , Jared thought before the world went dark.

Awareness came back slowly and he woke up to feel his pants being pulled off. There was blinding pain in his head and quickly it came to him what was happening. He thrashed, trying to break free, but he was stuck, the ground cold and damp beneath him.

“WHAT? GET THE FUCK OFF M-”

Before he could say another word, the attacker slammed a hand over his mouth, squeezing open his jaw and stuffing a rag into his mouth as a makeshift gag and tying something around his head to hold it in place. He tried to swallow down the panic, tried to focus, and realized his hands were tied behind his back with something that felt like leather, probably a belt.

He tried to scream, the sound louder in his own head than out loud, and his attacker laughed.

“No one can hear you, giant,” he said before forcing himself onto Jared, rough and hard. His breath was hot, smelled of alcohol against Jared’s face, his touch painful and bruising as he manipulated Jared’s body and took him by force. The attacker fucked into Jared dry, abusing his body. Every rough thrust tore Jared on the inside, he felt like he was being split open.

Tears streamed down Jared’s face. _This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening_.He squeezed his eyes shut and thrashed around again trying to get out of the restraints, to knock his attacker off balance.

The attacker just laughed, let out a lewd groan. “Hey, now, that just makes it feel better.”

Jared _knew_ that voice. He just couldn’t place it. The world was going dark again; he felt blood trickling into his eyes mixing with the tears, heard the grunts from the man behind him, inside him, a man that wasn’t Jensen. He felt the attacker pull out, laughing at the heap of a man laying on the dirty, damp ground.

The last thing Jared felt was another blow to the head before the world went black again.

 

Jensen looked at the clock. It had been an hour since Jared texted him, and normally he wouldn’t worry about Jared being late, but he had this terrible feeling he couldn’t place. He tried to call Jared several times, but all of his calls continued to go to voicemail. He sent a dozen texts with no reply. He was getting very worried.

Finally, he gave in and texted Chris.

Chris called immediately. “No dude he left an hour ago! He’s not home?” Concern was in his voice.

Jensen shot off the couch. “Was he drunk when he left?”

Chris told him that no, he wasn’t drunk, he had a buzz but they wouldn’t have sent him alone if he was drunk.

“I called and texted him, but no answer,” Jensen said, panic rising in his voice.

“We’ll find him, Jense. Don’t worry,” Chris said and hung up the phone. He told everyone what happened and they all quickly left the bar in search of Jared.

Jason, Rob, Steve, and Chris went straight out toward Jared and Jensen’s apartment, figuring they would split up at the next block. Danneel, Misha and Mike took a left out of the bar to check if he stopped for fast food, and Gen and Chad went right, knowing sometimes Jared stopped at 7-11 for a snack on his way home.

Gen had fallen a few steps behind Chad, she was looking down at her phone when she saw something on the ground. She bent down to pick it up, eyes widening in recognition. “Shit!” she yelled. She held Jared’s beanie in her hand. She looked up, toward the alley. “JARED!” she screamed.

She ran to the crumpled, beaten, half naked body on the ground. Jared lay there covered in blood, beaten and violated, his pants still pulled down to his ankles and exposing him to everyone. Chad raced up behind her, skidding to a stop on the wet sidewalk.

“Fuck! _Fuck_! Gen call 911!” Chad yelled, grabbing Jared and removing the gag from his mouth, trying to get him to wake up. “Come on man, wake up buddy. You’re alright, you’re alright! Gen! There’s so much blood! I can’t, I can’t tell if he’s even breathing!” Chad screamed.

He fumbled to get the belt off Jared’s wrists, the leather pulled so tight Jared’s hands were almost blue and they could see blood under the restraint. Gen knelt down with the phone pressed underneath her ear, the operator giving her reassurances that police and rescue were on their way.

“Chad, call Jensen _now_. I will stay with him.”

Chad was pale and he lunged over and threw up before shakily grabbing his phone to call Jensen.

“Uh, fuck, Jensen? We-we found him. Ambulance is coming, he -- fuck, we’re in the alley two blocks from the bar,” Chad rushed out. He heard the phone go dead and within two minutes, a winded Jensen appeared at the opening of the alley. Their eyes met and Chad just started bawling.

Jensen shook his head. “No. No, no, no, no!” he screamed, running to Jared and collapsing next to him, pulling the broken body in his arms. “I’m here baby. I’m here, I got you.” He looked up at his friends. “WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED??”

Jared started to twitch a little and moaned, “Je-Jen? Hurts,” before blacking out again.

Holding Jared in his lap, Jensen pulled his shirt off and pressed it to the split in Jared’s head to stop the bleeding. “I got you baby. I got you,” Jensen said through broken sobs.

They finally heard the ambulance, and by now all of their friends circled around them, shocked and crying. Jared looked like he was dead and they all held on to each other while Jensen felt Jared’s body go completely limp in his arms. “Jare. Babe. Jared? JARED! HELP HIM! SOMEONE FUCKING DO SOMETHING!” he screamed through tears as the EMT’s rushed over.

Chris and Mike pulled Jensen, now covered in Jared’s blood, away from Jared’s body so the EMTs could get to work. Jensen watched in horror as they did things to Jared to try to get him to respond. They worked on him, got him breathing steadily, and loaded him into the ambulance. Jensen immediately climbed in with him. The crew said they would meet him at the hospital. Jensen just nodded, still in shock, and terrified.

The ride to the hospital seemed to take forever, even though it was only about two miles. The entire trip, Jensen’s eyes were glued on Jared. Seeing Jared in the harsh light was so much worse.

His face was swollen, wrists were bloody from fighting against the restraints, his entire body completely battered. Jensen’s body started to shake with broken sobs, feeling completely helpless as the EMT in the back moved around, working to provide the medical treatment he could in the back of the ambulance.

As they arrived at the hospital, Jared was quickly unloaded and ER staff ushered Jensen to the nearest bathroom to clean up, handing him a pair of scrubs to put on.

Jensen was on autopilot. He watched the water run red as he cleaned himself, knowing it was Jared’s blood he was washing down the drain. He put on the scrubs and put his bloody jeans in the plastic bag the hospital gave him. Then he was escorted to the waiting area where his friends rushed in to meet him.

“Did they say anything? Do they know anything?” Chad asked, tears streaming down his face.

Jensen just shook his head and sat down. He dropped his head into his hands and began sobbing uncontrollably. Jason sat next to him and pulled him into his arms, trying to soothe him, a silent comfort as he let him cry.

Minutes turned to hours and they still hadn’t heard anything from the doctors. After what seemed like forever, a doctor came to the waiting room at two am.

“Who is here for Mr. Padalecki?”

Jensen shot up. “I am. He’s my fiancé.”

The doctor looked at the room, full of Jared’s friends, and nodded. “Come with me, sir.” Jensen followed, terrified. “Mr. Padalecki has been placed in a medically induced coma. He had a lot of swelling around his brain that we are hoping will go down, but the trauma was severe. There could be brain damage, which we won’t know until he regains consciousness, but there is also the possibility that he won’t ever regain it. Mr…?”

“Ackles. Jensen Ackles,” Jensen whispered, his entire body shaking as he started shaking his head. “What do- how can, what do you mean?”

“Mr. Ackles, your fiance was brutally raped. We discovered extensive anal tearing, a dislocated shoulder, and multiple cuts and lacerations from blunt force trauma as well as the restraints that were placed upon him. Right now he’s stable, but he’s in critical condition. We are keeping him in the ICU.”

Jensen felt his knees buckle, and the doctor grabbed him in time before he hit the floor. “I- Can I- please, I need to see him,” Jensen stuttered.

The doctor nodded and squeezed his arm before letting him go and leading Jensen down the hallway. “You have ten minutes,” the doctor told him as he led Jensen into Jared’s room.

Jensen let out a broken sob when he saw Jared laying there with tubes, wires, and machines attached to him, keeping him alive. Jared was almost unrecognizable with the swelling to his face. Jensen slowly approached the bed and took Jared’s hand in his.

“I’m here baby, I’m here,” he muttered. “Jared, babe, you gotta get through this. You’re so strong, I know you can. You have to fight. We have a wedding to plan! We have a life to live, together. You can’t leave me before we even start it. Please come back to me.”

He started sobbing again, thumb running in small circles over the back of Jared’s hand. He leaned forward and gently kissed Jared’s swollen face. “I love you so much babe. So much. Please, please come back to me,” Jensen kept repeating that for the entire ten minutes before a nurse came in and gently told him it was time to leave. Jensen was led back to the waiting area where his friends were waiting nervously for news.

“It’s not good,” Jensen said trying to prevent breaking down again as he listed all of Jared’s injuries. “Fuck, I need to call his parents. I need to call _my_ parents,” he said falling into the empty seat and weeping again.

“We did that already,” Chad commented softly, sitting next to Jensen and rubbing his back. “I called Jared’s family and Chris called yours. They’re on the way.”

Jensen just nodded. Silence fell over them, all of them lost in various thoughts before Jensen broke it. “You guys should go home. There’s nothing anyone can do here.” He looked up and tried to give them a reassuring look. “Really, go. I’ll be okay,” Jensen said between sobs.

“Like hell we are,” Jason exclaimed. sitting on the other said of Jensen. “You two are our family and we aren’t fucking leaving you, or Jared,” Jason said, firmly. Everyone nodded in agreement, and Jensen just hung his head and cried.

He must have fallen asleep, because the next thing he knew his mother was kneeling in front of him and he realized he was leaning on Jason’s shoulder. “Baby?” Jensen’s mother said softly.

Jensen opened his eyes, tired and sore from crying, but once he saw his mother they filled again. “Mom,” Jensen said before falling apart in her arms.

“I’m here honey. We’re all here. Jared’s parents are in with him now.”

Jensen nodded. He stood on shaky legs to greet the rest of his family who enveloped him in a hug, his father holding him up. “It’ll be okay son, Jared’s strong. He’s gonna make it.”

The Padalecki’s filtered into the waiting room and Jensen rushed to them. Sherry pulled Jensen in tightly and Jensen sobbed into her neck, “I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry, I should have been there with him. I should have gone.”

Sherry shushed him, “Nonsense, Jensen, this isn’t your fault. Please don’t blame yourself.”

Together, the families and friends waited for news on Jared’s condition, all in various stages of exhaustion, shock, and grief. The doctor came into the waiting room several hours later to update them on Jared. Gerry told him he might as well just give the news to everyone, because they would just turn around and tell them anyway.

“Jared’s swelling is going down, which is exactly what we hoped for. It’s slow, but that’s a good sign. He’s definitely strong and he’s definitely fighting, and if the swelling continues to recede we will slowly pull him out of the coma. I’m optimistic that he will wake up, given how he’s improving, but he will wake up in a lot of pain and most likely very confused, angry, and closed off. He’s going to have a long road ahead of him physically and emotionally,” the doctor explained.

After a few questions, they thanked him and Jensen asked if he could see Jared again. The doctor nodded and soon a nurse came to the waiting room to escort him in. Jensen held Jared’s hand and told him he loved him and that he wasn’t going anywhere, whispering soft reassurances and promises of love into his ear.  
Once his time was up, he was ushered back to the waiting room. The staff had tried to convince them to go home, to get a shower, some food and some sleep, but no one budged. After twenty-four hours, Jensen convinced his friends to go home and take care of themselves, to which they reluctantly agreed and assured him they would come back in a few hours. Jensen’s parents went to Jensen and Jared’s apartment to get a quick nap and shower and all that was left was Jensen and Jared’s family at the hospital.

Sherry tried to convince Jensen to go home and rest a bit, but he refused. “I’m not leaving this hospital until he wakes up,” he insisted.

Jensen was known to be stubborn, Jared always teased him about it, so it was no surprise to his friends and family when, true to his word, he did not leave the hospital for four days. Four long days of quick showers in whatever room he was allowed to use, four days of stale coffee, very little food, and almost no sleep. The nurses had relented, allowing Jensen to sit with Jared for hours at a time now since his condition, although not improving quickly, was stable. They commented on dedication, and how much he clearly loved Jared. He would just nod and hold Jared’s hand.

The doctor had stopped the medications that induced his coma on day three, so it was up to Jared to wake up after that. Jensen would talk to him, tell him who had come by, how everyone missed him, and how worried they all were. He apologized for not being with him that night, even though Sherry had repeatedly told him it wasn’t his fault. He still carried that guilt, he always would.

Four days. Four long days. Jensen didn’t realize that he’d forgot how to breathe for those four days until he watched Jared’s eyes open, glassy and confused. A pained moan escaped his mouth and Jensen quickly hit the call button for the nurse.

“Jared, baby, hey. Hey, it’s okay,” Jensen said softly.

Jared looked at him, eyes wide, scared, confused, and in obvious pain. A tear slid down Jared’s face and the memories slowly came back to him. He started to shake and cry and a moment later, he leaned over the opposite side of the bed and threw up. The nurses came in, calling for the doctor and pushing Jensen back, asking him to leave the room.

Jared was very confused and in a lot of pain. It didn’t take long for that confusion to turn to frustration and fear mixed with anger. It was all rushing back to him in waves, what he could remember from when he was conscious. He was angry that he was scared, that he had very little control over his own body at the moment, and that he had allowed someone to hurt him.

Jared was a big guy. He shouldn’t have been so easy to take down, to violate, at least that’s what he thought. For the time being, he kept those thoughts to himself, pulling more into himself with each passing moment. He was angry that the doctors had to rush in and treat him like he was delicate, like he could break at any moment, even if it were true. He hated that Jensen saw him like that.

He saw the wide terrified green eyes look at him with both fear and pity. He didn’t want pity. He was the one who looked out for Jensen, his shy, sweet, anxious boyfriend. How could he protect Jensen when he couldn’t protect himself? All of this turmoil, these toxic thoughts, rushed through him causing him once again to haul his body to the side of the bed and vomit. Just as quickly as the anger and frustration coursed through him it was gone again, leaving only fear and pain, desperation like he had never known. He was a mix of so many emotions in a matter of moments.

His body hurt, a hurt he had never felt before. His mind wasn’t clear, and in the rush of the hospital staff around him, Jared let the fight drain out of him. He went from feeling everything to feeling absolutely nothing. He drifted back to sleep, thankful for whatever the doctors had given him.

“We gave him some IV pain medicine and a shot for anxiety. He’s going to be in and out of it for a few hours, hopefully when he wakes up next time he won’t be as alarmed,” the doctor explained to Jensen. Jensen ran his hand over his face and nodded. He was so afraid for Jared, for how he would be after all of this, for the long fight ahead of him.

It was a few hours later when Jared came to again, enough to be alert and know where he was and what was going on. He was tense, rigid, and every time he looked at Jensen he saw the pain in his eyes. He wanted to scream, to tell Jensen to leave. He didn’t want his fiancé seeing him this way, he wished Jensen didn’t know.

Jared flinched when Jensen reached out to him causing Jensen to pull back quickly, his shoulders sagging and looking like someone just kicked his puppy. Jared hated putting that look on Jensen’s face but he didn’t want to be touched, didn’t think he deserved to be loved. He felt dirty.

The nurses and doctor flitted around the room, checking vitals and adjusting the meds until they finally deemed him stable enough to be left for a while. The doctor had explained Jared’s injuries and he flushed with embarrassment, knowing that Jensen knew how he had been violated. How he was broken. How could Jensen still look at him like that? How could Jensen still love him? He thought again, maybe it’s just pity.

When they finished with him, they left Jensen there to comfort Jared but when Jensen tried again to wrap his arms around Jared he flinched and pulled back. Jensen wasn’t used to not being able to touch Jared and although it hurt, he understood. He sat in the chair next to Jared’s bed.

“I’m not going anywhere Jare. You can pull back, I understand. I can tell you right now I am going to love you through this.”

Jared tried to fight the tears, but they slipped out. He squeezed his eyes shut and said, “No. You don’t need to do this Jensen. You can’t possibly want me anymore. I’m damaged. You deserve someone better.”

Jensen slid closer to the bed slowly and cautiously as to not startle Jared. “Jared,” he said, gently taking Jared’s hand in his, “I love you with all of my heart. You aren’t damaged, you’re perfect and you’re mine. Something terrible happened, but we will get through it, together.”

Jared shook his head. “Go away Jensen. I don’t want to ruin your life. I’m too fucked up now.”

Jensen stood firm, fighting back the hurt Jared’s comment caused and was gentle when he said, “You can try to push me away, but I’m not giving up on you. I will leave for now, let you rest, let your parents come in and see you, but I will be back. I love you, Jared.”

Jared stared blankly ahead of him.

Jensen squeezed Jared’s hand one last time before walking out of the room, he went to tell Jared’s parents that Jared was awake and what Jared had said. Sherry tried to be reassuring, telling him that Jared just needed to process everything and feel the emotions so he could work through them. Jensen nodded, tears once again welling up in his eyes. Sherry pulled him in for a tight hug.

“Jensen, he does love you. Give him time. We’re all here for you honey, for both of you.”

Jensen cried in her arms for a few minutes and pulled back, mumbling a thank you and going in search of his own mother. Jensen’s mom drove Jensen home and he collapsed onto his bed. She sat with him for a while, holding him like when he was a child and had been hurt. She repeated a lot of the same things Sherry had said, told him she loved him, loved them both, and that he just needed to be patient for Jared. He knew they were in for a long journey for Jared to recover.

He slept for several hours and when he woke up, he showered and ate before driving himself back to the hospital. His family had moved to a hotel, but now that Jared was awake and on the mend, they would be returning to Texas. Jared’s mother was staying longer, but his father and siblings were heading back the next day, along with Jensen’s family.

Jensen walked toward Jared’s room and heard Jared talking to someone. He stood in the hallway, listening to Jared try to explain what he could to a police officer.

Hearing Jared recount what he remembered hurt Jensen more than he thought possible. Jared only recalled bits and pieces, but it was enough that Jensen needed to run to the bathroom and vomit. His perfect, amazing fiancé was violated so violently and brutally, the gravity of it all was just starting to hit Jensen.

Jensen felt like he was punched in the gut, but he was determined to not let Jared push him away. He knew this would happen, but knowing didn’t make it hurt less. “Jared, I’m not going anywhere. We are in this together,” Jensen all but whispered.

Jared turned to him, finally looking at him, anger tightening his face. “In this together? Because you know exactly what it’s like to have someone beat you, to rape you, to leave you for dead? You know what it’s like to feel-” He stopped mid sentence as the angry tears rolled down his face.

Jensen sat at the edge of the bed, tried to hold Jared’s hand, but he pulled away, “No, Jared, no. I- that’s. That isn’t what I meant. I meant that I am here for you, to help you through this, to _love_ you through this. We may not have taken our vows yet, but when we got engaged I knew that no matter what happened in our lives, we would get through it together. I can’t imagine your pain, baby, I just want you to know I’m not going anywhere, no matter how hard you push, no matter how bad it gets. I will love you through it.”

Jared closed his eyes, tears still streaming down his face. He couldn’t tell Jensen how he felt, how he was broken, damaged, and dirty. How he didn’t deserve Jensen. How he didn’t deserve to be loved. Somehow Jensen could sense that’s what Jared was feeling.

Jensen reached for Jared’s hand again, this time grasping it when Jared half-heartedly attempted to pull away. “Jare. This isn’t your fault. None of this is your fault. What happened to you, it… it doesn’t have to define you. It doesn’t have to be what you become. I can love you enough for the both of us right now, but you are going to have to realize that you deserve everything good in this life. You deserve to be loved, to be cared for, and I will do that until the day I die.”

Jensen couldn’t hold back anymore, a shaky sob escaping his lips as he spoke. Jared’s hand lay limp inside of his. He knew Jared could hear his words, but there was no reply, nothing in his glassy, wet eyes but pain, anguish, anger and fear. It broke Jensen to see the man he loved hurt.

They sat still for several moments until Jared sighed, “Can... Jensen, can you just go please? Not forever, just for now. I-I really just want to be alone right now,” he whispered.

Jensen nodded, trying desperately to hold in the tears. He would give Jared some space, but he wasn’t letting him push him away. He leaned forward to kiss Jared’s forehead, but midway thought better of it and bent to kiss his hand instead.

“I love you,” he whispered into Jared’s hand before releasing it and slowly walking toward the door. “Jared, I will give you some space today, but I will be by tomorrow. Please baby, don’t shut me out.”

With a soft click of the door Jensen was gone and Jared dissolved into tears again. Tears of anger, pain, and fear, and it pissed him off that he was crying, which made him cry harder.

A few more days passed with Jensen coming by every day, as promised, to sit with Jared, often in silence as they pretended to watch whatever talk show or sitcom was on the hospital TV. Sherry left to go back to Texas, telling Jensen not to give up, that Jared needed him now more than ever and that she would call every day to check in. Jensen was there when the doctor would come in and check on Jared, and offer whatever news he had on his condition.

Jared was healing physically, but emotionally he hadn’t even begun.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> recovery begins. slowly. angsty chapter.

 

When it was time to take Jared home from the hospital, Jensen was a bundle of nerves. He was so stressed out over the fact that Jared had hardly uttered more than a few words to Jensen over the last several days. He had refused counseling, but the doctor, along with multiple nurses, strongly encouraged him to think about it and to reconsider. Finally, he relented and softly promised that he would, that he just needed more time. He just wasn’t ready to talk about it again, after rehashing what he remembered to the police.

The doctor pulled Jensen aside and gave him a few contact for when Jared was ready and told him that if Jared started to self-destruct in anyway, if he became a danger to himself, then the counseling could become mandatory.

Terrified that he was going to do something to make Jared worse, Jensen had started going to see a therapist on his own to learn how to help Jared, and also to heal himself. Jensen hadn’t realized it until the therapist told him, but he too was a victim in this. He was affected and his whole life had changed as a result of the attack. It was hard not to feel guilty over that as well, but she was helping him through it.  
Jensen picked Jared up in Jared’s car and helped him in after the nurse wheeled him to the vehicle. Jared was still unsteady. Although his legs hadn’t been injured, but he hadn’t walked much and his ass was still very sore from the brutality of the attack. He was told there might be permanent scarring inside his rectum, and the thought of anything going near his ass made him shudder anyway. It was yet another reason he felt like he should let Jensen go... He knew how much Jensen loved sex, and he knew there was no way he would be ready for that any time soon, if ever again.

Jensen gave a stilted smile to the nurse, and thanked her for helping Jared out before making his way to the driver’s side. Once he was in the car, he sighed. He was scared to death about bringing Jared home and didn’t have a clue about what he could possibly do to make Jared _Jared_ again.

They drove most of the way in silence. Once they approached the apartment building, Jared whispered, “Maybe I shouldn’t stay here, Jay… maybe, I don’t know, maybe I should stay with Chad and Gen.”

Jensen’s eyes bugged out. “No Jared, you’re not leaving our home. If you’re worried that I’ll… I don’t know, want to sleep with you or about me touching you, then don’t. I will sleep on the couch, okay? I won’t touch you until you’re ready, whenever that may be. However long it takes Jared, I will wait for you.”

Jared sighed. “That isn’t fair, Jen, that isn’t fair to you. You should be with someone who wants to be touched. I just- I can’t. I don’t know if I will ever be ready again.”

Jensen knew that Jared needed to heal; he knew that it might be a hell of a long time, but he would wait. He would do whatever Jared needed him to do except walk away or let Jared walk away.

He huffed, “Jared, if you think for one minute that I am worried about sex right now, you’re wrong. I want you to get better. I want you to be whole again! And no matter what that takes, we will get there. I don’t need sex to love you, Jared.”

A single tear escaped Jared’s eye and he wiped it with the back of his hand that wasn’t in the sling. He quietly got out of the car and headed toward their apartment. Jensen sighed, he knew this would be a long, rough road ahead of them, but he was determined to make it work.

As soon as they got into the apartment, Jared, still quiet, headed for the bedroom. He shut the door behind him, leaving Jensen alone in the living room.

An hour later Jensen went to check on him, and found him fully clothed, lying on top of the comforter and staring up at the ceiling.

“Hey,” Jensen said softly, “You hungry? I can make dinner.”

Jared shrugged, still not looking away from the ceiling. The silence was deafening. Jensen slowly backed out of the room and shut the door. He walked into the kitchen and hung his head; he let the tears fall, knowing that Jared wouldn’t be up to catch him crying any time soon. Or so he thought. He heard the shuffle of Jared’s feet and quickly wiped his eyes and cleared his throat. Jared stopped, staring at Jensen with a mournful look.

“I’m sorry Jensen. I, uh, you don’t deserve this.”

Jensen shook his head. “No, Jare, _you_ didn’t deserve _any_ of this. It’s okay, we’ll get through it.”

Jared looked at the ground. “I don’t know that we will,” he whispered.

Jensen was in front of Jared in a flash, ignoring Jared’s flinch when he reached up and grabbed Jared’s face in his hands. “Jared! Look at me! I am _not_ giving up. DO YOU HEAR ME!? I will not give up on you. I will _not_ give up on us.”

Jared shuddered and hesitated before pulling Jensen into his tense arms. “I don’t care what you say Jen, I don’t deserve you,” he whispered. The hug lasted only a moment, but it was enough to give Jensen that little bit of hope he needed. It was contact, contact that Jared initiated. It wouldn’t happen again for quite some time, but it was something.

 

Over the next several days, things were quiet. Too quiet. Jensen was going stir crazy but he refused to leave the apartment unless it was for a food run. Their friends had all asked if he needed anything, or if he wanted company, but he insisted it was best for everyone to stay away a while longer to give Jared space and time to adjust. They understood, but everyone missed them.

The police had stopped by once more to check on Jared and see if he remembered anything else, and after they left it was as if Jared had taken ten steps back. Jensen knew it was hard for Jared to talk about it, especially knowing that in that apartment Jensen would hear what he said despite retreating to the bedroom while the officers were there. Jensen heard Jared cry out at night and he wanted so badly to wrap his arms around his fiancé, to hold him and care for him, but the most he would do is sit by the bed and hold his hand, sing to him and talk to him softly. It was something, some form of contact that grounded him. It was as much for Jensen as it was Jared.

Jared came out of the room two weeks after being home with a duffel bag packed. Jensen’s eyes widened. “What are you doing Jare?” His voice cracked as he spoke.

 

 

“Jensen, I-it. Look, it’s not permanent, okay? I just need some time. I can’t stand it knowing that I’m hurting you. I’m going to stay with Chad and Gen for a while. Chad’s on his way to get me now. I’m sorry... I just can’t be what you need right now.” He looked at the floor.

Jensen’s heart dropped. “Jared, all I _need_ is for you to work on getting better. I need you to fight, to realize how strong you are, to be that amazing man I know you are, no matter how long it takes. I just, I can’t believe you’re leaving me.” He let the tears fall, his chest tightning and his stomach threatening to turn over.

Jared’s face grew red and his eyes flashed as he looked up and glared at Jensen. “ _Strong_ Jensen? You think I’m STRONG? I wasn’t strong enough to fight off someone smaller than me, wasn’t strong enough to keep him from fucking me dry in a dirty alley, ripping my insides apart. I wasn’t strong enough to fight then, so what makes you think I’m strong enough to fight now? Most of the time I wish he’d just have killed me!”

Jensen gaped at those words. “Jared, how can you say that? How can you think that? That fucker attacked you from behind! No matter how strong you are, with a blow to the head like the one he gave you, it would’ve taken ANYONE down!” Jensen shook his head, blinking back the tears in his eyes as he threw his hands out to the side. “Is that what this is about? That you weren’t physically strong enough to fight him off of you? He’s a monster, Jared! He’s a fucking animal! In no way are you weak because you couldn’t fight off that kind of attack. And what he did to you, you couldn’t fight back! You _tried_! You were tied up! You can’t beat yourself up about not being strong enough to fight him off when _no one_ in that situation could have. But you _are_ strong enough to fight now, to fight for you. Fight for US. You keep saying I deserve better, well fucking fight for it, man!”

Jared shook his head sadly. “I can’t J, or, I’m not ready I guess. I just need to be away. I need distance right now. I can’t stand seeing you so sad everyday.” With that, he turned and walked out of the apartment leaving Jensen alone with his mouth hanging open. He heard the click of the front door closing and fell to his knees, wracked with sobs.

Apparently word traveled fast in their small group and within minutes, Chris was banging on Jensen’s door. Jensen still sat in the middle of the floor crying, ignoring the incessant pounding. Eventually he heard a bunch of noise and then his door flung open. Chris, Steve, Jason, and Rob stared at Jensen, red faced not even trying to hide the sobs that shook his body. Jason pushed past Chris and sat on the floor, pulling Jensen in his arms.

“Shh, hey buddy, we’re here now. We gotcha. It’s going to be okay, man,” Jason whispered, placing a soft kiss on his temple and holding Jensen tightly as Jensen wept into his shoulder.

“He’s gone, Jay. He left me. How could he? Why? I just wanted to help him,” Jensen sobbed.

Jason held him a little tighter. “I think he just needs to sort this out on his own for a while, man. He isn’t gone for good. Give him time. I think he felt like he was letting you down... He still loves you, ya know. He just can’t show it right now,” Jason tried assuring Jensen, but Jensen just continued to cry. His whole world shattered when Jared walked out the door, and he felt hopeless, helpless, like he just lost everything he cared about.

Chris cleared his throat. “Hey guys, why don’t we move this into the living room? Jensen, I brought beer and Steve brought some take out. You need to eat bro.”

Jensen nodded and wiped his eyes. He had no appetite at all, but he knew Chris, and he wouldn’t leave until Jensen ate something. Jason hauled him off the floor and they made their way over to the couch where Chris opened a beer and handed it to Jensen. He gulped it down quickly and reached for another.

Chris shook his head and said, “Gonna be one of those kinda nights, huh?”

Jensen answered by chugging half of the second beer in one go. He set it down and burped, then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Classy,” Steve joked.

Chris put a burger and fries in front of Jensen, who wrinkled his nose at it. “Eat it boy,” Chris grumbled. “You need to eat, man.”  
and took a bite. Three bites in, Jensen’s phone notified him of a text.

It was from Jared.

Jensen shot him a dirty look but reluctantly opened the greasy burger  
Jensen closed his eyes and breathed deeply before he read it.

Jensen sighed, fighting back tears, again. He shook his head and texted back:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jensen knew it was a low blow, and he knew that he was being selfish. Jared needed to work through this in whatever way was best for him. He had just thought that once they were engaged, there was nothing that they couldn’t get through together. It broke his heart to realize he was wrong.

Jared stared at his phone, his eyes once again filling with tears. He was so sick of crying. He was so sick of hurting. He had contemplating ending it all, even started coming up with a plan, but he couldn’t do that to his mom, to his family, and to Jensen.

He reread the text from Jensen and whispered to himself, “You are so far from expendable. Fuck, I don’t deserve to be loved by someone as amazing as you.”

Gen overheard him as she passed by the room. “Jared. Honey, you know I love you and you know that Chad and I have no problem with you crashing here, but don’t think for one second that you don’t deserve to be loved, or in particular loved by Jensen. What happened to you is- fuck Jay, it’s awful. Seeing you there, not knowing if you were dead or alive, it… I… I have never been more afraid in my entire life. We were all there, scared for you and Jensen was heartbroken, but he still managed to have the presence of mind to stop the bleeding, to literally rip his shirt off to stop it. That man would give his life for you. And you _do_ deserve that kind of love.”

Jared’s eyes filled yet again. Damn it, when would the crying stop? Jared hadn’t been told about what happened when he was found. So, he took a deep breath and sighed. “Gen, tell me. Tell me everything.”

She shivered at the memory, but she sat down next to him, took his large hand in her tiny one, and told him exactly what happened. She recalled how she found him with Chad, about calling 911 and then Chad calling Jensen, how suddenly everyone was there but it seemed like time had stopped. She hadn’t noticed when they all arrived. She told him how Jensen rode in the ambulance, covered in Jared’s blood, and how he sat in the hospital and by Jared’s side whenever they would let him in the room, how he refused to go home. It didn’t matter what had happened to Jared, he wanted to know what happened and he wanted to be with him, to love him.

Jared took it all in, listened to everything before telling her he was tired. She told him to take the bed and, she would sleep on the couch, but not to get used to it. She would want her bed back.

He reminded her that technically it was _his_ bed, but she just gave him the finger. He laughed, the first laugh since everything happened and it sounded foreign coming out of his mouth.

He flopped down on Gen’s bed, realizing he never texted Jensen back, it had been about an hour, so he opened their message thread and typed.

He set the phone on the nightstand and drifted into a restless sleep.

 

When he didn’t get a message back right away, Jensen was immediately hit with regret over sending that last text, but the damage was done. He continued to pound beers and only ate about half the burger and a handful of fries; just enough to shut Chris up.

When his phone finally pinged an hour later, he read the text from Jared. “Yeah but you still walked away,” he whispered to his phone.

Jensen looked at his friends who were talking amongst themselves about music and some possible gigs they had lined up. He rose off the couch and headed to the kitchen. He found the whiskey and came back with the bottle and a few shot glasses. Jensen sat and filled up the shots before passing them to his friends. They all downed one, then continued the conversation.

Jensen sat with the bottle still in his hands and pretended to listen to them while his thoughts were on Jared. He took sips straight from the bottle until he started feeling the room move.

“I think you’ve had enough.” Chris said gently, removing the bottle from Jensen’s hands. Jensen just looked up at his friend and nodded sadly. It broke their hearts to see their friend hurting so badly. They suggested watching a movie or playing a video game to distract Jensen from his thoughts, but Jensen just shook his head.

“Nah, you guys go ahead. I’m gonna go lay down.” He looked at his phone. It was only nine. He looked over his shoulder and said, “I might be back out guys, stay as long as you want. No one better be driving anywhere.”

Chris laughed, “Yeah, I’m gonna drive all the way downstairs. Me and Steve live here, dumbass.”

Jensen smirked. “You idiots aren’t the only ones here.” He pointed to Jason and Rob.

Jason laughed, “Dude, we walked here.”

Jensen’s smirk faded. “Well, y’all are staying here. I-- you-- No one is walking anywhere around here, especially after drinking.”

Everyone knew what he was saying without him saying the words, ‘not after what happened to Jared’, ‘not with that monster still out there’. They agreed that they would stay either at his place or with Chris and Steve.

Jensen stripped down to his boxer briefs and climbed into his bed, painfully aware that he hadn’t slept in it since Jared returned home. He tried to fight the damn tears off. He, too, was so sick of crying, but when he laid his head on the pillow and smelled Jared all over the bed, he broke into a long, pain filled sob. He pulled the pillow close to him and wrapped himself tightly in the blankets, enveloping himself in Jared’s scent. He fell into a restless sleep, filled with nightmares about losing Jared in various ways.

 

Jared sat up mid scream with Chad shaking him and Gen hiding behind him, her eyes wide with fear. Jared, still not quite awake took a swing at Chad, narrowly missing his squinty blue eyes.

“Whoa, Jayman!” Chad said grabbing Jared and holding him down before realizing what he was doing.

“GET OFF ME YOU SICK FUCK! GET OFF ME! HELP!” Jared wailed and thrashed.

Once Chad realized that he had Jared pinned down, he let go quickly and with his hands in his hair, he darted out of the room. Gen didn’t know what to do. She picked up the phone and called Jensen.

The phone rang waking him up at 2:30 am and Jensen panicked when he saw the caller ID. “Is he okay?” Jensen asked between deep breaths.

“I, shit, I don’t know Jensen. He’s screaming. He’s not awake, not fully, and Chad, he, well fuck, when he realized Jared was having a nightmare he tried to wake him up and Jared took a swing. Chad pinned him down and it freaked Jared out. He started screaming and he hasn’t stopped. What the fuck do we do Jensen?”

Jensen closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He wanted to strangle Chad. “Don’t try to wake him, I’m on my way.” Jensen hung up before Gen could protest. He threw on a pair of gym shorts and a t-shirt before sliding on his flip-flops and running toward the door, startling Jason and Rob who were asleep curled up on the couch.

“Where’s the fire?” Rob asked sleepily.

“It’s Jared. I’ll be back,” Jensen answered as he ran out the door. Jason and Rob sat up quickly and ran after Jensen.

“What do you mean its Jared?” Jason asked. Jensen unlocked the truck and jumped in.

“He’s having night terrors. Fucking Chad fucked up and I need to go there. I’ll be back soon, you guys just stay here,” he demanded as he started the engine. He made it to Jared’s old apartment in record time. Gen must have unlocked the door because he flung it open as soon as he got there. He could hear Jared wailing and rushed toward the room just barely noticing Chad sitting on the couch, his head in his hands.

“I’ll deal with you later,” Jensen snarled at Chad, who just nodded in defeat.

There was no point in arguing. He knew he fucked up and made things worse and he already felt like the worst person on the planet. In the bedroom, Gen was standing a good distance away from the bed, but keeping a watchful eye on Jared. Jensen sat down on the edge of the bed and took Jared’s hand in his.

“Jay, Jared, baby, it’s me. It’s Jensen. Come on sweetheart, time to wake up, it’s just a nightmare,” Jensen said soothingly despite the anger and fear boiling inside of him. He stroked the back of Jared’s hand with his thumb. “Baby, come on, wake up.”

He slowly and gently reached up to brush the hair off Jared’s forehead with the softest touch. The screams subsided, Jared’s breathing turned into panting, and he moaned and cried, still not awake.

“Hey Gen, can you get a warm damp towel and a cold glass of water please?” Jensen asked in the same soothing tone he was speaking to Jared with.

“Yeah.” She whispered, a break in her voice that let on she had been crying.

“Jared, sweetheart, it’s time to wake up. Come on baby, open those beautiful eyes. I’m here. It’s Jensen, I’m right here.”

Jared slowly opened his eyes as Gen made her way back into the room with the requested items. Jensen nodded a thank you toward her and gently brushed the towel over Jared’s forehead, then ever so delicately over his face.

Jared took a deep breath as he came to, and Jensen tugged at his hand to tell him to sit up some, a move they had down since he’d been released from the hospital. Jensen wasn’t new to the nightmares. He had even done this routine with Jared often, but tonight had been the worst he had seen.

“Jen-Jensen? Wh-What are you doing here? What time is it?” Jared stuttered as he fully woke and took in his surroundings.

“Hey Jare. You were having a night terror, it was a bad one. Gen got worried and called me, it’s no big deal. I’ll always come when you need me.” He forced a smile and Jared frowned.

“She shouldn’t have called and bothered you,” he said directing his distressed face at Gen.

Gen huffed, “Jared, you didn’t see you okay? And Chad, he made it worse by grabbing you without thinking. I called Jensen because he knew what to do.”

Jared looked down at his hands. “Still, you shouldn’t have bothered Jensen, he’s been through enough.”

Exasperated Gen shouted, “You know what Jared? We’ve all been tip toeing around you, all been walking on eggshells, because we know you went through hell and we don’t know what to say or do to make things better. It’s not a _bother_ to Jensen, he LOVES you! Besides, we didn’t know what the fuck to do and soon enough the neighbors would have called the damn cops. So accept the help and shut up!” she finished, angry tears rolling down her pink cheeks. She turned and stormed out of the room, leaving a very tense Jensen and Jared gaping after her.

“She’s right, you know,” Jensen said softly, “You are never a bother to me, Jared. I love you. I just wish you’d come home,” he said, taking the warm towel to Jared’s brow again.

This time Jared flinched, grabbed the towel, and snatched it from Jensen’s hand. “I don’t fucking want to come home, Jensen! I don’t want to be taken care of, and I don’t want you!”

The words were as sharp as a knife to Jensen’s heart. He gasped and practically fell of the bed in his haste to get out of that room.

“Fuck, Jensen, wait, I didn’t mean -- Shit. Jensen!” Jared called after him, but Jensen was already out of the apartment, Chad hot on his heels.

“I’m so sorry Jensen, this is my fault. I made it worse, I’m sorry.”

Jensen turned to Chad ready to punch him, then quickly realized that none of this was on Chad, and that Chad was beating himself up over attempting to help his friend. “You didn’t think, Chad,” Jensen muttered. “You need to think. You can’t just grab him, no quick or sudden movements when he’s awake either. If he wakes up screaming, you… you take his hand and rub it with your thumb and speak softly.”

Jensen’s voice broke and the God damn tears started up again, but he kept talking as his voice cracked with the pain in his heart. “Sometimes that’s all it takes, sometimes you’ll need a damp towel, make sure it’s warm, an-and just rub his forehead, maybe his neck. Tell him who you are, that he’s safe, that he’s just having a nightmare. Just-- Don’t grab him. Be gentle, and please,” Jensen began to sob, “Please just take care of him.”

He didn’t see Jared standing by to door listening, tears streaming down his face. Jared wanted to go after Jensen, wanted to tell him he loved him, he didn’t mean what he said, that he wanted him. But he didn’t. He just stood there and watched the love of his life drive away sobbing.

Chad turned to the door and saw Jared standing there. “I know you’ve been through hell, man, and I know that you’ve got a lot to work through, but you’re a fucking asshole.” Chad walked past Jared into the apartment and shut himself in his room. Gen waited for Jared inside, she too having heard everything. He hung his head and walked back to the bedroom, crawling under the covers. Gen moved silently and stood in the doorway.

“I know Gen, I know,” Jared wept. Gen shook her head and closed the door as she walked back to Chad’s room. She crawled into bed with him and he pulled her close in his arms, holding her as they went to sleep. They both needed the comfort that night.

Jared woke up the next morning feeling worse than he had since he was in the hospital. It felt like there was a giant hole in his chest, but that, he knew, was his own fault. He knew he needed to work through his issues, what had happened to him, but he didn’t realize how much he had been putting Jensen through until he heard Jensen explain to Chad how to calm him down from a night terror. How many times had Jensen done that for him? Between the hospital, the nights at their apartment, and the naps, there were at least a dozen, probably more. Jensen put his life on hold to care for Jared.

Two weeks went by in which Jared and Jensen hadn’t communicated at all. Gen would text Jensen and update him on how Jared was doing, with little reply. She knew that even though he didn’t answer much, if at all, that he wanted to know.

For his part, Jensen was just so overwhelmingly hurt by what Jared said, by Jared leaving, that he could barely function. He only had a week and a half before his job started, and he still had a lot to do. He wouldn’t have students the first week, just had to set up his room and work on lesson plans. It seemed easy, but he wasn’t in his right frame of mind so it took twice as long to shop for the classroom supplies he would need.

For a distraction as well as a focus, Danneel and Gen went with him to help pick out cute things to decorate his room; cute, but not _too_ cute because it was high school students, after all. He kept the things loaded in the back of the SUV because why move them into the apartment just to move them back out again.

Jared decided to seek help. He didn’t tell anyone, didn’t say a word, and everyone other than Jensen was working, so they didn’t even know he was gone everyday. Hurting Jensen the way he did was what broke the camel’s back. He knew Jensen still went to therapy once a week on his own, but Jared wasn’t even sure what doctor he had been to, he had been so wrapped up in his own pain. That question was answered when Jensen met face to face with Jared as Jared walked into the waiting room from the doctor’s office.

They stood, staring at each other for what seemed like a lifetime.

“Mr. Ackles? Dr. Morgan will see you now.” Jensen and Jared remained still another moment. “Mr. Ackles?” the receptionist called out again.

“I’m coming, gimmie just a sec,” Jensen replied, not taking his eyes off Jared. “You look good,” His eyes swept over Jared from head to toe, “Well, better than you did at first, you know?” Jensen said after Jared huffed upon the compliment.

Jared knew he still looked like shit. Jensen, despite the dark shadows under his eyes from lack of sleep and stress, still looked beautiful. Jared smiled weakly at Jensen. “I uh, can I call you later? Maybe swing by and talk?”

Jensen nodded. “Yeah, but I better get in there, I’m going straight home after this so anytime is fine. You do still live there, Jared, whether you’re there or not. I don’t have to be there for you to come by,” Jensen added.

Jared nodded and blew out the breath he was holding. “Kay,” he said softly.

Jensen walked through the door into Dr. Morgan’s office and sat in the soft leather chair opposite his desk. “Hello, Jensen,” Dr. Morgan said smiling softly. He was about ten years older than Jensen, strikingly attractive with a narrow face, brown hair and beard highlighted by silver. He was tall and thin, almost too thin, but still a very good-looking man.

“Hey, doc,” Jensen replied. “Did you schedule Jared and me back to back on purpose?” Jensen asked, one eyebrow raised.

Dr. Morgan chuckled. “Now, would I be that devious or that obvious?”

Jensen looked at him and smiled softly. “You’re damn right you would. How long has he been coming?”

Dr. Morgan tapped his pen on his desk. “Jensen, you know I can’t tell you that. Why don’t you just ask him?”

Jensen answered, “Because running into him just now is the first time we have communicated in two weeks. I can’t, he hurt me so bad, but I can’t be angry with him after what happened. It’s not his fault. He just wasn’t himself, I guess,” Jensen said looking down. “But he left me, he doesn’t want me anymore. He flat out said it.”

Dr. Morgan sighed. “First of all, you _can_ be angry with him. If he does something wrong, it’s okay to be mad, it’s okay to tell him that you’re mad, or hurt. You shouldn’t tip toe around him. Yes, he’s got a long emotional recovery ahead, but he still needs to be held accountable for his behavior. And as for wanting you, or wanting to be with you… Jensen, did you even see his hand?”

Jensen looked up at the good doctor. “What, no, did something happen to his hand?” Jensen asked, worried.

Dr. Morgan chuckled softly. “No, Jensen. Nothing happened, but he _is_ still wearing his ring.”

Jensen gulped, “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh. The ring means there’s still hope Jensen. Don’t give up on him yet,” Dr. Morgan stated, grinning.

Jensen talked to the doctor about how much he missed Jared, how devastated he was without him and how he would do anything for him to move home. He knew that the physical part of the relationship wouldn’t be returning any time soon, but he didn’t care. He was hoping to be able to hold Jared in his arms, but the sex, that could wait. Hell, if he got Jared back it could wait forever.

Jensen was surprised to see Jared sitting on the couch when he got home. He was even more surprised to see the duffle bag at his feet. “You here to get more stuff?” Jensen asked, cautiously.

Jared looked at the bag, frowning, then back at Jensen. “No, I, uh, was hoping I could come back home. Doc thinks it would be good for me to get back into a routine. I start my internship soon and… Fuck, Jen, I miss you. I didn’t mean what I said. I was scared... I was angry and I was pushing you away and I shouldn’t have. I’m not ready to move fast, but I... can I come home?”

Jensen wanted to rush him, drag him into his arms and devour him with kisses, but instead he slowly and tentatively reached his arms out, allowing Jared to decide. Jared filled his space and Jensen wrapped his arms around him, breathing him in.

“Of course you can come home. I never wanted you to leave. I love you, Jared, that hasn’t changed.”

Jared held him tighter. “I love you, too, Jensen, and I’m sorry. I’m trying, I really am, but I am going to need you to be patient.”

Jensen nodded, pulling back from the embrace enough to look up into Jared’s eyes. He swept his hair out of his eyes, and whispered, “I can manage that.”

Jared took a deep breath and bent down to place a chaste kiss on Jensen’s lips. The first kiss they’d shared since the night of the attack. It was a quick, soft brush of the lips, but Jensen beamed. It was a start.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> healing. cuteness. and a surprise for Jared

Jared pulled back from the embrace and sighed. He wished that he could hold Jensen, kiss him thoroughly, but his mind got in the way. Every time he got too close to anyone physically, alarms went off in his head. He felt scared, dirty, and like his skin was crawling. He knew he had a lot of work to do to get better, and he finally wanted to, for himself, and for Jensen.

Jensen made a quick dinner for them and it was the first meal he actually wanted to eat in weeks. He brought in two plates of spaghetti and put one in front of Jared on the coffee table.

“I’ll still sleep on the couch,” Jensen said softly, twirling his fork and trying not to shake, cry, or do anything to scare Jared off.

Jared huffed, “No Jen, that’s not fair. I’ll take the couch. You need to start getting sleep; you start teaching teenagers soon. You’ll need your energy.” He attempted to smile but it came off as more of a grimace.

Jensen sighed again, “Jared, you’re too tall for the couch. It’s okay, it’s kinda comfortable.”

Jared didn’t say a word for a while and they ate in awkward silence. Once they finished Jensen got up to clear the plates away and clean the kitchen when Jared stopped him. He was still sore, and hurt in places that humiliated him, but he had removed the sling a few days before and was trying to be more useful.

“Jensen, I’ll clean, you cooked. I’m not an invalid,” he said, a hint of annoyance in his voice.

Jensen let it go; he knew he couldn’t coddle Jared because that would push him away. He just set the plates back down on the coffee table and sat back down on the couch.

Once Jared cleared the dishes away and was in the kitchen cleaning up, Jensen slipped to the bedroom to change. He put on a pair of black and gray pajama pants and a black wife beater. His hair was tousled from changing and running his hands through it, his black-rimmed glasses sat perched on his nose. He removed his socks and padded back to the living room with the extra pillow and blanket. He set them on the arm of the couch and sat down, leaned back and closed his eyes.

He was so nervous.

He knew that he and Jared still needed to talk, but they had been stiff and cordial to each other and hadn’t really talked yet. He heard Jared in the kitchen, dishes clanking as he put them away, and then a moment of silence before he appeared back in the living room. Jared stopped, staring at Jensen, his jaw open as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words.

Jensen looked up at him. “What’s up, Jare?” he asked, an edge of concern in his voice.

Jared shook his head and looked at Jensen again. “You. Fuck, Jensen, you’re just so God damn beautiful.”

Jensen blushed. He never thought he would hear Jared say anything like that to him again. He picked at the hem of his wife beater. “You’re blind,” he mumbled, a tiny smile tugging at his lips.

“I wish I could kiss you, Jen. Hold you, make love with you. I just can’t... I hope someday I can again. I miss feeling you,” he admitted, the crack in his voice cutting him off from saying anything else. Jensen stared at him, he didn’t expect that admission.

“Jared, it’s okay, really. What you went through, that’s not something you just get over. One thing Doc Morgan said was that we need to talk more, to open up, communicate. You think we can try? There are things we really need to work through together.”

Jared nodded and headed over to the couch. He sat on the opposite end, his back against the armrest, facing Jensen. “What do you want to talk about?” Jared asked nervously. He knew he would have to talk to Jensen about what happened to him, how he felt, and he knew he needed to hear how Jensen was feeling.

Jensen took a deep breath. “Can you talk about what happened to you? I mean, maybe talking to me instead of the cops will jar something that you didn’t remember,” he said, shrugging. He really didn’t _want_ to hear about how brutally his fiancé was attacked, but he knew he needed to.

Jared nodded slowly. It wasn’t easy to talk about, but he had discussed it more than once with the police and several times with Dr. Morgan. “I remember leaving the bar,” he started, shifting uncomfortably in his seat, “I was walking to the store to pick up snacks for us on the way home. I felt something hit the back of my head. Hard. I know I stumbled, or fell, I was kind of out of it. The next thing I knew, he hit me again. He was running off at the mouth. He was strong. He was so strong... or I was just weak from being knocked out, I don’t know.

“I remember bits and pieces after that... felt something tighten around my wrists. He shoved something in my mouth to muffle the sound and I remember he kept hitting me, twisting my body. Then-- Then I felt him behind me, pushing into me. It hurt, it was so dry and painful and… fuck, it hurt. I was trying to scream, I was in and out of it still, and I remember him saying something about how fighting back made it better... so I stopped fighting. I didn’t want him to have the satisfaction.”

He didn’t realize that tears were streaming down his face. Jensen slowly moved closer to him, not crowding him, but close enough that he could take Jared’s hand. “Jare, you don’t have to finish if-”

Jared cut him off. “No, I need to get it out,” he said, through a shaky breath. “He was big, or felt big, because it burned and tore me inside. I could feel myself ripping open... I know he hit me again. He was calling me names, he was saying vile shit to me. I felt him finish, it felt like hours, but I’m sure it was only a few minutes. He sounded so smug, like he had been waiting to hurt me and then he…” Jared trailed off, thinking, and then was suddenly hit with a wave of nausea. He gasped and sat up straight. “OH my GOD Jensen, I know who it was!” Jared shouted, startling his fiance.

“What? WHO?” Jensen said, already reaching for his phone to call the officers.

“I just remembered! He called me ‘giant’. That’s what the fucking douche bag called me at the bar that night, the guy that was hitting on you and got thrown out. He called me giant, in that same smug tone. It was that Stephen guy! Fuck. I can’t believe I just now remembered that.”

Jensen was already pressing send on the phone. “Yes, Detective Pellegrino? Jared remembered something. I think he knows who attacked him. Yes sir. We’ll be here. Thank you.” Jensen ended the call, then an awful realization hit him. “Oh fuck, Jared, this is all my fault!” he said, his lip quivering. “That guy was hitting on _me_ , shit. This is all my fucking fault.” He started to sob.

Jared squeezed his hand. “No, Jen, it’s not your fault, man. That asshole is a sick fuck, and if anything it’s _my_ fault because I was the one picking a fight with him that night. Well, not picking it, but not backing down from him either.”

They sat in silence, holding hands, both not knowing what to say. Minutes later there was a knock on the door. Jensen got up to answer it and found Detective Pellegrino and Detective Sheppard in the doorway. Pellegrino was tall, with blond hair and blue eyes, and looked like a man you didn’t want to meet in a dark alley. Sheppard was short and stout. He had a gruff voice with a British accent.

“Mr. Ackles, Mr. Padalecki, tell us what you know,” Pellegrino insisted, pulling out his note pad.

Jared explained the fight at the bar that night, told them what Stephen had called him and how he threatened Jared that night. No one had thought about him again, not until Jared was telling Jensen what happened. Sheppard said that sometimes things came to people after traumas when they are more relaxed, which is why he probably remembered with Jensen, someone he trusted, someone he felt safe with.

The detectives took his statement, and wrote down the description both men offered, Sheppard drawing a rough sketch to help identify him and left after about forty-five minutes. They had some of the DNA from the attacker they retrieved from Jared, some semen and some skin from under his fingernails. Stephen hadn’t been in the system so they didn’t have anything to match to the attacker. They left with high hopes of finding the man and testing his DNA against the samples they had.

The detectives told Jared and Jensen they would be in touch. The door shut and Jensen stood awkwardly in the living room. He wanted so badly to hug Jared. He felt guilt eating away at him, even though Jared swore it wasn’t his fault; Jensen needed someone to blame, a reason that this happened, and it came back to him in his mind.

Jared could see the defeated look on Jensen’s face, his shoulders were slumped and his eyes were glassy from shedding so many tears. He had dark circles under them and the vibrant green had faded to a soft jade with yellow flecks. It broke Jared’s heart to see the man he loved look so broken. _He_ was the one who was broken. He never realized until that moment that all of this broke Jensen too.

Without even thinking, he crossed the room and pulled Jensen into his arms, startling him. It took him a moment to catch up, to realize what Jared was offering, and when he did, Jensen buried his face in Jared’s chest and wrapped his arms around him, holding on for dear life.

Jared didn’t flinch, he didn’t pull away, for the first time in weeks he felt right with Jensen in his arms. Something clicked inside him when he saw how this all affected Jensen, something protective, something that told him that Jensen needed him, and that over powered his fear.

He realized that maybe he and Jensen could make it. They were both broken, they could be broken together and help each other heal, help put each other back together. It wouldn’t happen overnight, but for the first time in a long time he had overwhelming hope.

Surprisingly, it was Jensen who pulled away. In his mind, if he broke the hug, if he wasn’t holding on too tightly or for too long, then maybe Jared would be willing to do it again. When he pulled back from the embrace he smiled sadly at Jared. “Think I’m gonna crash, Jay. You can stay out here and talk if you want for a bit, but I’m gonna lay down.”

Jared shuffled his feet a bit. He knew this wouldn’t be easy, but he wanted to try. “Or,” he said, locking eyes with Jensen, “We could both lay down in bed and talk. I can’t promise cuddling, or that I won’t have night terrors... I might even punch you in my sleep, but, if you’re willing to try then I think I am, too.”

Jensen tried not to let the hope show on his face, but his heart started racing and his throat went dry. “Yeah,” he sighed hopefully, “Yeah, I’d like to try.”

Jared grabbed Jensen’s pillow and blanket off the couch and led him to the bedroom. He grabbed his navy blue pajama pants and gray t-shirt before going to the bathroom to change, still not able to strip down in front of Jensen. Jensen didn’t take it to heart, he knew they made huge progress today and he wasn’t going to let this one thing upset him. He also figured he wouldn’t make it through the night in bed with Jared, figured Jared would end up freaking out and moving to the couch at some point.

Jensen was settled on his side, facing Jared’s side of the bed but a good distance away when Jared came back to the bedroom in his pajamas. Jensen then got up to go to the bathroom and brush his teeth and wash up. When he returned Jared was lying facing Jensen’s side of the bed. He was sticking to his side of the king size bed, and when Jensen laid down he felt like there was still miles between them.

 _Progress_ , he thought. At least they were in the same room, the same bed. In the back of his mind though, a part of him thought this was almost worse, being so close yet so far away. He sighed a heavy sigh.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Jared whispered reaching his hand across the middle of the bed to softly lay it on Jensen’s.

“It’s nothing,” Jensen mumbled, yawning. Exhaustion was winning and his eyes grew heavy. Jared gently closed his fingers around Jensen’s hand, but kept his body where it was, clear on the other side of the bed. They were both asleep in minutes.

Jensen woke up to Jared screaming. The night terrors weren’t every night, but the were most nights, and Jensen was becoming well versed in how to calm him. He sprang up, scooting closer to Jared and in a soft voice tried to coax him back to consciousness.

“NO! STOP! PLEASE STOP!” Jared wailed. This never got easier for Jensen to see. Knowing that the man he loved relived his attack most nights broke his heart.

“Jare, baby, come on, it’s Jensen. Wake up now, it’s just a nightmare,” he said softly. He stroked Jared’s hair gently, the screams started to turn to whimpers, and Jared slowly woke from his terror. Once he was fully awake, Jensen sat up fully, looking in Jared’s glassy hazel eyes. He gave him a reassuring smile and said softly, “I’ll move to the couch.”

Jared sat up, reaching for Jensen’s hand. “What? No. Please, Jen. Please stay.”

Jensen’s heart was in his throat. He nodded, swallowing loudly, then went to scoot back to his side of the bed. Jared stopped him, pulling him down next to him.

“You think, I mean, would you mind maybe holding me?” Jared asked innocently. Jensen wondered if it was him that was dreaming.

“Yeah, sure, Jare,” he said smiling cautiously and moving his pillow to the center of the bed. He lay on his back and lifted his arm for Jared to tuck in beside him.

Jared nervously laid his head on Jensen’s chest and wrapped his arm around Jensen’s waist. Jensen wrapped the one arm around Jared’s back and rested the other on Jared’s arm that covered his waist. He stroked Jared’s hair and began humming softly. Jared was lulled back to sleep, Jensen not far behind.

They woke up the next day to Jared’s phone ringing on the nightstand. Jared sprang up, his nightmare had woken them both around one am and once they fell back asleep in each other’s arms, both sleeping better than they had since before they left for vacation. He reached for his phone and realized they slept until noon.

 _Huh._ That’s the most either of them had slept in weeks if they didn’t count Jared’s coma, which he didn’t. Jensen sat up, eyeing Jared and waiting for him to answer his phone. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and listened as Jared answered, “Hello? Yes, this is Jared Padalecki. Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Okay I will.” He hung up and looked at Jensen, tears falling again. These tears weren’t of sadness or pain, however, they were tears of relief. “They caught him,” Jared said, then let the dam of tears flow.

Jensen cried with him and before they knew it they were back in each other’s arms again like it was the easiest thing in the world. “They fucking got him,” Jared said again. Jensen nodded, to emotional to speak just yet. Jared continued, “That was Detective Pellegrino. He said they picked Stephen Amell up at a bar downtown last night, took his DNA, and he knew he was busted. He confessed. Pellegrino said his DNA also matched a few other open rape cases they had... Amell is going to jail for a very long time.”

Jensen held Jared tighter. Relief washed over him. Finally this son of a bitch was being brought to justice.

They lay in bed for the better part of an hour, neither of them speaking, just holding on to one another. Once the tears subsided, they just held on quietly not wanting to let go. Eventually Jensen’s bladder won out. “I gotta pee,” he said untangling himself from Jared’s embrace and walking to the bathroom.

“Jare, we should really call everyone and let them know,” he shouted from the bathroom. He heard Jared agree and when he came back to the room, Jared was already on the phone with his mom. Jensen called Chris and explained everything. Chris said for him not to worry about having to rehash it to everyone, that he would spread the word. Jensen thanked him; the last thing he really wanted to do was have him and Jared spend all day on the phone.

Jared hung up with his mom and took a shower, then told Jensen he had an appointment with Dr. Morgan in an hour. When he was dressed and ready to go, he found Jensen on the couch, playing around on his guitar.

“Hey, Jen, I’m heading out. You think maybe we can make an appointment to see Doc Morgan together?” he asked nervously.

Jensen locked eyes with Jared, saw the apprehension in them and smiled. “Yeah I, uh, I think that’s a great idea. Schedule it today when you leave.”

Jared nodded. He didn’t hug or kiss Jensen goodbye, and Jensen didn’t expect it. He knew he was already leaps and bounds further than he thought he would be with Jared. He wasn’t going to complain.

Jared was called back to Dr. Morgan’s office shortly after arriving. “Hello Jared, how are things?” he asked, smiling. Jared returned the smile, a real genuine smile, which made Doctor Morgan beam. “I see things are looking up?” Morgan asked.

Jared explained to his doctor about how telling Jensen had brought back memories that telling the police hadn’t. He told him how the attacker had been caught, about sleeping in the same bed with Jensen, how after the night terror he asked Jensen to hold him and he slept better than he had since the ordeal began. Dr. Morgan nodded, making notes and listening to Jared.

Finally, once Jared got it all out, Dr. Morgan said, “Well, Jared, I think you’re making great progress. Don’t rush into things if you’re not ready, but if it feels right and you’re comfortable, then move at your own pace. I know that Jensen will be understanding. I also want you to know that there might be times that you will withdraw again and that you won’t want to be touched. I can assure you that it’ll pass, and that you do have a strong man who loves you at home. He will stand by you through all of this, and now that you’re letting him in, it will be easier on both of you. Jensen has carried a lot of this on his shoulders, and it was very hard on him. Seeing the two of you find your way back to each other is very promising, and I’m just going to say keep it up. Let him be there for you, but also Jared, you need to be there for him, too. He may not have been the one who was attacked, but your fiancé was a victim in all of this as well.”

Jared nodded, taking all of the doctor’s words in. “Hey, Doc? Jensen and I would like to schedule an appointment together soon if that’s okay?” Jared asked when he stood up to leave.

Dr. Morgan smiled kindly. “I think that’s a fantastic idea, Jared. Schedule it with Katie when you leave.”

Jared did just that. They had an appointment together the following day. He smiled at the receptionist, Katie, as he left. He was finding it easier and easier to smile again and he was starting to feel a little like himself again.

When he got to his apartment, he saw Gen standing nervously at the door, biting her nails. “Gen?” Jared said, raising an eyebrow when she nearly jumped out of her skin.

“Hey Jare,” she said starting to approach him to hug him, then realized what she was doing and stepped back. Jared winced when he saw the flash of hurt in her eyes.

He bent down and pulled her into a quick hug. He still wasn’t ready for too much contact, and he was really only just getting comfortable with Jensen touching him again, but he felt like he owed it to his friend. “What are you doing here short stuff?” he teased.

“I heard about what happened, wanted to drop by and see how you were, then got here and realized you probably didn’t want company. I was about to leave when you showed up,” she said turning red.

Jared nodded. He really didn’t want to have people over, but he also knew that in the previous weeks he had pushed everyone away and they were all worried about him. He smiled weakly at her. “I don’t mind if you come in for a few, but I don’t know how long I’ll be up for company if I’m being honest,” he said, feeling a little guilty. Truthfully he wanted to spend the afternoon alone with Jensen, try to start reconnecting with his fiancé.

Gen nodded. “It’s okay, Jared. I won’t stay. I just wanted to see your face. I needed to know that you’re okay.” She smiled, her eyes filling with unshed tears.

“I’m getting there,” Jared said honestly.

“That’s good, that’s a start, right?” she said hopefully.

“Yeah, it is,” he answered.

She shuffled her feet anxiously. “Well, tell Jensen I said hi. I’ll be on my way. I’m glad they caught him, Jared, now maybe you can really move forward,” she said, reaching out and patting his shoulder as she walked down the hall.

“Yeah,” he whispered to himself watching her disappear inside the elevator.

Jared entered the apartment to find Jensen sitting on the couch twisting his hands nervously. He heard Jared approach and looked up at him. Jensen was a bit pale with a worried look on his face. Jared’s face fell.

“What is it Jen, what’s wrong?”

Jensen stood. “I kinda did a thing. I hope you’re not mad, but I heard they help with recovery, and I know you always wanted one, and just please don’t be mad,” Jensen stammered.

“What?” Jared asked, getting worried. Jensen disappeared to the bedroom, confusing Jared even more, and came out with a small ball of fur in his arms. Jared’s face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. “You got me a puppy!?” he said crossing the room quickly and lifting the tiny brown fur ball from Jensen’s arms.

“Yeah, she’s a sheppard mix. I hope it’s okay... I named her Sadie.”

Jared beamed at Jensen, then looked down at the pretty little pup in his arms. “Hi Sadie, I guess we are your daddies. It’s nice to meet you.”

Jensen got chills hearing Jared refer to them both as her daddies. He knew it was silly, it was a dog, but it brought so much hope for the future. The puppy licked Jared’s face and he laughed. Without a thought, he bent down and kissed Jensen on the lips. It was another quick, chaste kiss, but the thrill it brought Jensen it may as well have been their first.

He blushed, and when Jared noticed, he tipped Jensen’s chin up with his finger. “I missed that,” he said softly.

Jensen snorted and shook his head. “Just so you know, you’re walking her and taking her out in the middle of the night until she’s housebroken,” Jensen said, trying to act stern.

Jared laughed. “Okay, Jen. And thanks man. This is amazing.”


	13. Chapter 13

Sadie was an easy puppy; they figured that out the very first night. They decided to crate train her until she was housebroken, and she only whined for a few minutes. Jared took it harder than the dog.

“It’s so mean though, Jensen,” Jared whined.

Jensen smiled at him. “I know, but do you want to wake up to all of your shoes chewed up and dog pee all over the carpet? We’ll never get our deposit back.”

Jared nodded. He knew Jensen was right.

But, Sadie was a godsend. The first morning, Jensen woke up to find the bed empty next to him and the dog crate empty. He ambled into the living room, still no Jared. He set off to the kitchen to start the coffee pot, but saw that it was already full with a note next to a clean, empty mug.

_Morning J- took the baby for a walk. Be back soon. Love- J_

Jensen smiled to himself. He poured a cup of coffee and went to the living room. He peeked out the window to see if he could see Jared and Sadie walking anywhere and to his amusement, found them on the grassy area in front of the building playing. Jared sat on the ground and the puppy was running around him, her tail wagging. Jared’s full dimpled smile lit up his face.

Jensen realized it was the first time since the attack that Jared seemed like _Jared_ again. It was the first time he looked relaxed and just… happy. Tears sprung to Jensen’s eyes and he rolled his eyes at himself. He’d cried enough over the last few weeks to last a lifetime. But, these were tears of joy, so he welcomed them.

He watched Jared play with the puppy for a few more moments. When Jared put her leash back on and headed back into the building, he sat on the couch. He didn’t want Jared to know he was watching him.

He heard the door open and shut and then the skittering of little paws on the linoleum floor. Sadie came running toward Jensen, who instinctively lit up upon the greeting.

“Morning baby girl!” he cooed as she licked and jumped on her other daddy. Jared stood watching. Jensen caught him out of the corner of his eye and turned to face him, an odd look on Jared’s face. “What’s up Jare? You okay?”

Jared nodded and whispered, “Yeah. Come here, Jen.”

Jensen stood, patting Sadie on the head one more time before walking over to Jared. He began to worry, but Jared’s lips twitched in a small smile.

“I just. I love you so much, Jensen,” Jared said, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He reached for Jensen, pulling him close. Jensen didn’t realize he was holding his breath for a moment while he studied Jared’s face. Jared’s eyes were closed, he was tense, but in more of a nervous way. Jared cupped Jensen’s face in his hands and lowered his forehead against Jensen’s. “I love you so god damn much, Jen. Thank you for loving me.” He breathed out, then dipped down to take Jensen’s lips in a soft kiss.

The first kiss was chaste, like the others. Then he dipped back down and swiped his tongue across Jensen’s bottom lip, seeking entrance into Jensen’s mouth. Jensen parted his lips willingly, letting Jared lead the kiss. It was slow, nervous, and sweet. It felt like the very first time either of them had ever kissed anyone. Then soon they found their rhythm and their tongues worked on memory alone.

Jared pulled Jensen closer. He kissed him long and deep, there was nothing aggressive about it, nothing that insisted the kiss was going to be more than just a kiss, but to Jensen it spoke volumes. They both felt dampness on their faces, neither of them realizing that they were both crying softly. Jared pulled back, huffed a laugh, and wiped his eyes.

“Uh, sorry,” he said turning red. Jensen wiped his own eyes, then cupped Jared’s cheek in his hand.

“For what? You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, and I love you, too, Jared. I love you more than you’ll ever know,” he whispered.

Jared nodded, a few more tears escaping. “I think I do know, Jen. I really think I do.” He pulled Jensen into a hug, which was getting easier and easier for him to do. He wasn’t ready to be close to anyone else yet, and Jared used to be a big hugger, but with Jensen he felt safe, he felt loved. In Jensen’s arms he was home.

Jensen and Jared had their first couple’s therapy appointment with Doctor Morgan that afternoon. They spent a lazy morning playing with Sadie when Jared said, “She needs a yard, Jen.”

Jensen, chewing on a piece of bacon mumbled, “Huh?”

“A yard, Jensen. We should buy a house. We’re getting married anyway, and she needs a yard.”

Jensen stopped mid chew and stared at Jared. Sure, he knew that eventually they’d buy a house, but with everything that had transpired that summer, and how they were only just at the very beginning of getting Jared emotionally healthy again, Jensen was shocked to hear Jared suggest it. Even more so over him bringing up the wedding. Jared sensed Jensen’s apprehension and ducked his head.

“I know what you’re thinking. ‘How can we get a house when we are barely holding on by a thread’. I’m not suggesting we run out and buy one tomorrow, I _am saying that I _am__ marrying you, that we have a dog who needs a yard, and it’s the next natural step. Would you be second guessing it if none of this shit happened?” Jared questioned, not annoyed, but a hint of tension to his voice.

“You’re right, Jare. I wouldn’t. But those things _did_ happen, so bare with me babe. I’m not saying no to a house, uh, if you want we can start looking. We can ask Doc Morgan what he thinks, too.” Jensen paused, giving Jared a small smile. “You’re right. We _are_ getting married. It is the next logical step.”

Jared smiled at Jensen. “Good,” he said softly. He really wanted to show Jensen that they were going to be okay; he was finally starting to really believe it himself.

They got to their appointment with Dr. Morgan a couple minutes early and sat in the waiting room, talking softly to each other and holding hands. The receptionist, Katie, called them back, smiling at them.

“Aren’t you two the prettiest couple I’ve ever seen,” she said. Both men blushed.

“Thanks,” they muttered, following her back to Dr. Morgan’s office.

“Hey fellas.” He smiled warmly at them. “Take a seat,” he offered. They each sat in the soft leather chairs facing Morgan’s desk. “So, how are things going now that Jared has moved back home?” Dr. Morgan asked Jensen, who smiled widely at him.

“Honestly, Doc, things are getting a lot better. We are making a lot of progress. Jared’s initiating touch, he’s hugging me without thinking again. We sleep in the same bed, and since we have slept holding each other he hasn’t had a nightmare. I’m not saying he won’t again, but that’s got to be good, right? Oh! And this morning, he kissed me, really kissed me for the first time since.” Jensen blushed realizing he was talking about Jared like he had at other sessions as if he wasn’t sitting right next to him.

Jared blushed, too, smiling shyly and said, “He bought me a puppy, how could I NOT kiss him.”

Dr. Morgan chuckled at the playful tone in Jared. He was pleased to see such progress in just a matter of days. “Jared, how do _you_ feel about all of that, the touching, the kissing, the closeness with Jensen?” Dr. Morgan asked.

Jared looked at Jensen, took his hand in his own and smiled softly. “I feel safe. I feel loved. It feels… normal… like it should.”

Dr. Morgan nodded, noting the softness in both men as they looked at each other. “How do you feel about the possibility of being more intimate?” Dr. Morgan asked, noting the stiffness in Jared’s shoulders upon hearing the question.

“I… I don’t think I’m ready for that yet, Doc. I don’t know when I will be. I do know, though, that I want to be. I just, I,” Jared started stumbling over his words until he felt Jensen squeeze his hand gently.

“Hey, Jare, like I said, there is no rush on that, no pressure. I will wait patiently until you’re ready.” He smiled to reassure him. Jared just looked sad.

“I want to be ready, Jen, I do, but I’m not there yet.”

Dr. Morgan interjected, “Jared, it’s been less than two months since you were brutally raped. I’m sorry to be so blunt, but it’s the truth. No one expects you to be ready for such intimacy yet, in fact, I’m very surprised you’re where you are with any intimacy at all right now. The fact that you’re touching and kissing is huge. Don’t rush it. You’ll know when you’re ready.”

Jared nodded, solemnly. He really wanted to want more. He just wasn’t ready to be touched…. there…

Jared mentioned buying a house to Dr. Morgan. He raised his eyebrow and said, “It’s good that you’re ready to move forward with your lives together Jared, just be sure that it’s what you both really want and not something you think you have to do.”

Jared got a little annoyed. “It IS what I want. I know that Jensen and I are getting married, and we have a puppy now, and she needs space! Eventually we’ll have kids and they’ll need a yard and-” He paused when he heard Jensen breathing hard. “What, Jen? Do you not want kids, because I thought that we- I know we discussed it and I don’t mean tomorrow or anything, but someday and-”

Jensen squeezed Jared’s hand. “No Jay, I do, I really do. Just hearing you say it, man. I just- I never thought I would hear you talk like that again. It took me by surprise, but it’s good babe, it’s really really good.”

Jared smiled at him; dimples on full display and Jensen felt his heart skip a beat.

“I love you, Jared,” he whispered and he didn’t care that the Doctor was sitting right there. He was so full of pride and love for his fiancé that it overwhelmed him. He turned to the Doctor and asked, “Do you think it’s a bad idea to start looking for a house, Doc?”

Dr. Morgan sat quietly for a moment. “You know, normally I would say to take your time and not rush it, but with you two, I think there’s something rare and special here. If you guys are ready, then you do what you think is best. It’s definitely _not_ a bad thing to move on with your lives and move past all this. Change of scenery might not be bad for Jared, starting over in a new place might actually help.”

They finished their session, and Dr. Morgan told Jared that he could start coming weekly instead of daily, and suggested Jensen only come every other week. They decided to continue with couples therapy twice a month, so Jensen would just extend his appointments to two hours, one alone and one with Jared. His teaching job started in a week and they needed to also work around his and Jared’s class schedules and Jared’s internship as well. They left the appointment feeling more confident about where they were as a couple and Jensen decided on the way home to call his realtor.

The first day of school, for Jensen, was filled with nervous energy. He wanted the kids to like him, but more importantly, he wanted them to respect him. He would be teaching high school kids music history and theory. He was also taking over teaching guitar and was going to be the assistant to the show choir director. He only had one guitar class a day, co-taught the show choir class, and had two classes of music history and theory. A lot of his work would come later in the year with after school rehearsals and shows.

He ended up having his classes all scheduled in the morning so he could take two graduate classes in the afternoon. The first semester, he wouldn’t need to stay after school with the students until the beginning of November to start rehearsing for the Christmas concert. So far, he enjoyed his classes.

Jensen enjoyed teaching, but he preferred the performing classes over the music theory. He loved sharing his knowledge of music and listening to the students play and improve because of his instruction. It gave him a sense of pride to know that he was a part of molding these young musicians.

Jared was starting his junior year of college; he was nervous about starting, still not feeling confident and really not liking crowds the way he used to. He was beginning to understand Jensen’s apprehension about being in large groups of people. His classes weren’t too difficult and his internship at the radio station was still a paid one, now with more money and a higher position with Mike still as his supervisor.

They quickly fell into a rhythm, making time for each other while maintaining their studies and work. They didn’t see a lot of their friends, Jared still hadn’t hung out with everyone since the attack, but he was feeling like he was ready. He just wasn’t ready to go out to a bar. He told Jensen he thought they should have their friends over soon, and Jensen agreed, but told him to wait a few weeks. He didn’t tell Jared why.

Jared had his final check up with his doctor and since Jensen had something planned for after the appointment, he went along with Jared for support. He knew Jared wasn’t looking forward to having certain parts of his body examined, but he put on a brave face.

The doctor informed him that luckily, there was minimal scarring in his rectum and that he was all clear for any sexual activity. His other injuries had healed normally and besides the scarring, he was physically back to normal. The appointment ended and he met Jensen in the waiting area. Jared didn’t say much at first and Jensen didn’t ask. He knew Jared would talk when he was ready.

It had been a month since school started and they had continued therapy, it helped them talk about some of the things they just weren’t ready to talk about on their own. Jensen drove, since he knew where they were going. Jared sat quietly for a few minutes once they were in the truck then finally said, “Doc gave me the all clear, for uh, sex.” He was quiet and uncomfortable.

Jensen just nodded. “Okay,” he sighed, “Just because the doctor says you can doesn’t mean we have to Jared, like I said, when you’re ready.”

All they had done up until this point was kiss. They would sometimes kiss until their lips were swollen and they were out of breath, but neither one made a move for more. Those nights, Jensen would take extra long showers. Jared didn’t ask and Jensen didn’t say, but they both knew Jensen needed the release. Jared hadn’t touched himself, he still felt dirty. The nightmares came every so often, not as bad, and they were fewer and farther between. Those nights he would curl into Jensen’s body for comfort.

“So, where are we going?” Jared asked, changing the subject. Jensen just smiled, and pulled into a neighborhood that was only a five-minute drive to the college and a ten-minute drive to Jensen’s work. Jared admired the houses. It was a newer neighborhood, he noticed, and it looked like a lot of young families had moved in. Jensen pulled into the driveway of a white two-story house with green shutters. It had a wrap around porch, two-car garage, and fenced in backyard. Jared noticed the for sale sign in the yard and his eyes were wide with anticipation.

“Jen, are we, I mean is this what I think it is?”

Jensen smiled. “Yeah, I’ve been looking at houses between classes. I didn’t say anything because I wanted to wait until I found a few that were really great, and, well… I saw this one. I really want you to look at it.”

Jared smiled brightly in response. Jensen led him to the front door and unlocked the lock box; the realtor, being a friend of Steve’s, had given him the code to let Jared in.

Inside was beautiful. There were hardwood floors throughout the living room and formal dining room, and a large eat in kitchen with a breakfast bar that was open to the huge living room. There were sliding glass doors that led to the back deck allowing Jared to notice how big the back yard was. There was a half bath down stairs and then Jensen led them upstairs to show him the three bedrooms. The master bedroom was huge with a walk in closet and an over sized master bath. There was a Jacuzzi tub and a large shower stall that could easily fit two, with the sprays on both sides of the wall.

The other two rooms were smaller; an average size for second and third bedrooms, and there was a full bath in the hall. He also showed Jared the finished basement, that could have a fourth bedroom, plus a large rec room and laundry room.

“This is perfect, Jen, but we could never afford this,” Jared said in awe.

“Actually, we can. And don’t be mad, I kind of already made an offer, and it was accepted. If you like it, we move in this weekend. Closing is Friday.”

Jared’s eyes grew wide. “How can we afford this place?”

Jensen smiled. “Trust fund, remember? I cashed in a lot of it for the down payment and paid a big chunk on the house. Our mortgage is next to nothing and I still have plenty left in the trust.”

Jared’s jaw dropped. “I can’t believe this, Jensen! This place is amazing. It… it feels like home.” Jensen smiled. Jared cocked his head and looked at Jensen. “And what would you have done if I hated it?” Jared asked.

Jensen laughed, “I knew you would love it Jared, it was everything you said you wanted, and more. I wouldn’t have bought it otherwise, you just need to sign the papers.”

Jared looked questioningly at Jensen. “But it’s yours, Jen. You paid for it.”

Jensen shook his head. “It’s _our_ home, Jared, equally ours. You’ll be helping with the mortgage and the utilities. I’m not supporting your ass,” he teased.

Jared smiled; he felt better about that. He walked through the entire house again. “I can’t wait to move in.” He beamed.

They moved in that weekend. Chris bitched about having to move the giant king-size bed again. Jared was healed, but Jensen didn’t want him doing too much heavy lifting with the potential of him dislocating his shoulder again. It was the first time all of their friends had gotten together since Jared was attacked. Danneel and Misha, Rob and Jason, Chris, Steve, Chad, Gen, and even Mike and Sophia were there.

Jensen had splurged and bought some new furniture for the new house, putting the old couch in the basement for the rec room. He bought an extra long, extra wide sofa and matching recliner for the living room, a large oak coffee table, a huge flat screen TV that they mounted on the wall, and oak bookshelves and end tables that matched a formal dining room set. He and Jared also bought furniture for one of the spare rooms to use as a guest room, and office furniture for the other, with two desks so they could study and Jensen could grade papers or make lesson plans.

The house already felt like home to them, and they were happy to have all of their friends there to help them move and arrange their furniture. The girls set off to put together the bedrooms while Jared organized the office with Chad, Mike, and Jensen. Chris and Steve set up the living room while Rob, Jason, and Misha were sent to the store with a grocery list and Jensen’s credit card, which made Jared nervous. He was terrified with what Misha might bring back, but Jensen trusted that Jason would stick to the list.

Once they finally finished, it was decided to order pizza and wings, and Jason brought back several cases of beer and a few bottles of liquor. They were ready to celebrate. Jensen noticed that Jared was a little closed off, a little uncomfortable with so many people around, but Jared assured him that he needed to get used to it; these were his friends and he wanted to be okay around the group.

After several beers and full from the pizza and wings Jared and, Jensen decided it was time to turn in. It was after one in the morning and their friends had started passing out. Misha and Danneel drove home, as did Sophia, bringing Chad with her. Mike passed out on the couch in the basement, Rob and Jason took the guest room, and Gen fell asleep on the recliner while Chris and Steve passed out on the new giant couch.

Jared was already in the bedroom as Jensen was turning out the lights in the living room and locking up the house. He smiled to himself, excited about their fresh start. He made his way to the bedroom, pausing by the guest room when he heard soft moans through the door.

“At least someone is christening the house,” Jensen whispered with a smirk.

When he entered his room, he was surprised to see Jared laying in bed in nothing but his boxers. It was how he used to sleep… before. He hadn’t gone to bed in less than shorts and a t-shirt since that awful night.

Jensen felt his jeans grow tighter. “Shit,” he whispered. He didn’t want to make Jared feel uncomfortable, but damn it, he looked so hot. Miles of perfect, tanned skin and his perfect chiseled body lay there in front of him. Jensen tried not to look at Jared as he undressed. He stripped down to his boxer briefs and slid into bed, willing his erection to go down before Jared inevitably snuggled close to him.

He turned off the bedside lamp and lay on his back, screwing his eyes shut and gritting his teeth when he felt Jared’s warm body nuzzle up next to him. He let out a frustrated sigh. Jared lifted himself up, hovering over Jensen. Jared looked into his eyes so intensely, that he almost looked through him before he leaned down and captured Jensen’s mouth in a deep, hard kiss. Jensen couldn’t help the moan that escaped his lips.

This was the first time he struggled to keep his hands off Jared. Usually it came easy to him, Jared wasn’t ready so it just wasn’t an issue, but the way Jared was kissing him made it really hard to not explore his body with his hands and mouth. Then, Jared deepened the kiss.

Jensen laid back and let him control it. He gasped when Jared started running his hands down Jensen’s bare chest, rolling his nipples between his fingers then rubbing his hand gently down his abs, tickling him a little by using his finger tips. He got to the waistband of Jensen’s boxers and Jensen’s breath hitched.

“Jare?” he whispered, breaking the kiss. “You don’t have to.”

Jared stared into Jensen’s lust blown eyes. “I know I don’t have to, I want to.”

He dipped down to kiss him again and slid his hand slowly into Jensen’s boxers, rubbing his rock hard cock gently. Jensen moaned; he almost came at the first touch.

“Jared,” he whispered again, this time his voice full of want. Jared tugged at Jensen’s boxers and Jensen lifted up so Jared could slide them off of him in one swift move. Then, Jared hesitated for a moment and took a deep breath before removing his own.

“I’m not sure I’m ready for actual sex, but I need to feel you Jen. I need… something. Is that okay?” Jared asked, his voice shaking from nerves and lust.

Jensen took Jared’s face in his hands, kissed him softly, and pressed their foreheads together. “Jared, we can do or not do whatever you want. We are moving at your speed here, babe.”

Jared blushed and kissed Jensen again, this time with more intent. He blanketed Jensen’s body with his own, lining up their hard, leaking cocks, and slowly started grinding his hips down.

“Fuck,” Jensen whispered, screwing his eyes shut. His mouth hung open as a moan escaped his plush pink lips. Jared moaned in response and buried his head in the crook of Jensen’s neck, continuing to rock their bodies together. He reached down and grabbed both of their cocks in his oversized hand and jerked them slowly. He knew neither of them would last, but he wanted to draw it out as much as he could. He wanted Jensen to feel good, to feel loved. He had been so patient, never pushed Jared, and Jared wanted to show his appreciation for that.

“Oh God, Jared, fuck! That feels good,” Jensen husked. Jared kissed and nipped at Jensen’s neck and kissed down his chest, taking one of Jensen’s perky nipples in his mouth, nibbling and tugging lightly. “Oh God, baby, I’m not gonna last. Fuck, I’m so close,” Jensen whispered rocking his body up into Jared’s hand.

Jared quickened his pace and a soft moan escaped his lips. “Fuck you feel good, Jen.” He grunted. “Jen... Fuck, oh God, Jensen. I love you baby. I love you so fucking much,” Jared moaned.

That was all it took before Jensen was coming long and hard all over Jared’s hand and his chest. Seeing and feeling Jensen fall apart beneath him pushed Jared over the edge and he, too, came hard, crying out Jensen’s name.

They lay there together, sweating, panting, and Jared peppering Jensen’s face with kisses. He rolled off him, grabbing his discarded t-shirt to wipe the cum and sweat from their bodies. Jared dropped the shirt to the floor and pulled Jensen into his arms. It had been a long time since Jared was the one who held Jensen, but it felt right.

They fell asleep quickly, sated and peaceful.


	14. Chapter 14

Their sexual relationship grew stronger each time Jensen and Jared were physical with one another. It wasn’t every night, wasn’t even every week, but every time Jared let his guard down a little more. They went from grinding their cocks together, to mutual hand jobs, to blowjobs, the intimacy returning to their sex life.

Before they knew it, two months had gone by. School and work were going really well for both of them and their therapy was helping them in more ways than their sex life. Dr. Morgan had Jensen alone and their couples counseling sessions down to once a month now while Jared had started going every other week, which would stay that way for quite some time. The counseling was teaching them how to communicate better, how to read each other’s body language, and how to support each other without being overbearing or hovering. Basically, it was enhancing the things they already did pretty well in their relationship and giving them the confidence to continue. 

Sadie was getting bigger and she was growing into a great dog. She helped Jared relax and open up, she was playful and sweet and obeyed really well for a young puppy. The three of them were very content. Jared’s nightmares had all but vanished, only occasionally rearing their ugly head. That was until about a week before Thanksgiving when he got a phone call from Detective Pellegrino informing Jared that Stephen Amell’s trial was coming up.

Detective Pellegrino informed Jared that Amell had retracted his confession, claiming he was coerced, but the DNA piled against him was too compelling for that story to stick, especially coupled with the other rape victims. Then he asked what Jared planned to do about testifying. A few months ago, even weeks ago, Jared had been dead set against it and had gotten Dr. Morgan to write a letter claiming Jared wasn’t stable enough to stand as a witness. Personally, Jensen agreed. He’d made so much progress over the last few months, he didn’t want anything to derail him. 

Jared cleared his throat and said he would think about it. While part of him was terrified to ever see Stephen again, part of him wanted to face the monster, show him he was okay, and get closure. Pellegrino assured them both that his testimony may not be _necessary,_ but it was strongly encouraged and gain sympathy of the jury which would help with sentencing. Jensen was concerned, and although he told Jared it was his decision and he would back him on whatever he chose, he hated the idea of Jared going. He didn’t want Jared to back slide and detach himself from everyone again when he was just starting to be more comfortable in his skin and around his friends. 

Jared and Jensen’s families decided to come to their new house for Thanksgiving. They wanted to visit sooner, but with Jared’s recovery, school, and work, the timing was never convenient. The boys were ecstatic when their families accepted their invitation to Thanksgiving. They also invited their friends as most of them lived far away from their families, or just weren’t that close to them. 

They were going to have a house full of people and with the trial nearing, Jensen was a little concerned that Jared would struggle with so many people around. Not to mention that their families were made up of very touchy-feely people. Jared was getting better about intimacy with his friends, hugging or any other kind of physical affection. Better, but not great. He still stood stiffly in someone’s embrace and it always took him a moment to relax afterwards. The only person he was completely relaxed with and comfortable touching in almost any way was Jensen. 

Jared’s family flew in two days before Thanksgiving, Jensen was on break from work and school, and Jared only had one day left before his break at the radio station. His family wanted to spend some time with Jared before things got too hectic. Really, his mother wanted to know her son was okay. 

Jensen had spoken to each of his and Jared’s families ahead of time, warning them about Jared’s aversion to being touched. They all understood, but it broke his mother’s heart to not be able to immediately hold her baby boy. Jensen sympathized, but asked them all to allow Jared to initiate any physical contact. They reluctantly agreed. Sherry thanked Jensen for taking such good care of her son. He told her that they take care of each other, it definitely went both ways. 

The Padaleckis arrived while Jared was finishing up at the station. Jensen showed them around the new house and it gave him a chance to talk to them a bit more about how Jared was doing, what he had gone through, and what was coming up with the trial. 

Jared’s mother cried, “Thank God he has you Jensen. Honestly, thank you for loving my son.” Then she hugged him tightly. She joked that if she couldn’t hug her son then Jensen would just be getting double. Jensen told her he could never get too many Padalecki hugs. 

Jensen insisted that the Padalecki family stayed with them, at least until his family arrived, since then there wouldn’t be room for everyone. Sherry and Gerry took the guest room, Jensen put an air mattress in the guest room for Megan, and they’d converted the extra room downstairs into another guest room of sorts with a double bed and night stand, Jeff decided to stay down there. 

Jared arrived home to find his father grilling steaks and asparagus beside his mother who was making a salad and baking Jared’s favorite cookies. 

“Hi Momma,” he announced startling her. 

“Jared Tristan Padalecki! You almost gave me a heart attack!” she scolded. She went to him, stopping short just before she reached out to hug him. Her face dropped and she stepped back. “Hi son,” she said warmly, trying not to show her disappointment. 

Jared took the two steps toward her and pulled her into his arms, surprising her. “Hi Mom,” he whispered. He heard her breath shaking and knew she was crying silently. “It’s okay Momma, I’m okay,” he soothed. 

She stepped back, taking her son’s face in her hands. “You, my sweet boy, are the strongest person I know. I love you so much, and we are all so proud of you.” She pulled him into another quick hug and let him go. 

Even though he hugged her willingly, she could feel him stiffen in her arms. It broke her heart, but she knew he was really trying. “I have to tell you, Jared, despite what happened, you are a very lucky young man. Jensen loves you more than I’ve ever seen anyone love another person. He’s a good man.” She bit back the tears. 

Jared nodded, smiling shyly. “Yeah, he’s the best man I know. I’m very lucky, and I love him back just as much.” 

Jared spent a lot of time with his family over the next two days, but there were times that he retreated back to his room. Sometimes, it got to be a bit too much. When it started happening more frequently, Gerry suggested they move to a hotel to give Jared and Jensen some space. Sherry agreed, she could tell sometimes it was too much on him, and they were planning on moving to a hotel within the next day or so anyways to make room for Jensen’s family. 

Jared loved spending time with his family and he used to be as exuberant and loud as the rest of them. But after the attack he was much more subdued. He didn’t like to draw attention to himself anymore, not like he used to. 

As his family packed their things and left for the hotel, Jensen walked up behind Jared, wrapping his arms around him. “Hey, I’m proud of you. You did really great with all that commotion.” He kissed the back of Jared’s neck softly before letting go. 

“You think I’ll ever be back to the way I was? Back to normal?” Jared asked, not looking at Jensen. 

“I don’t know if you’ll ever be the way you were Jare, but what _is_ normal? For you, it’s just a new normal, and that’s okay,” Jensen explained. 

Jared sighed. “But that other guy, the loud, crazy, attention seeker... that’s the guy you fell in love with, Jen.” 

Jensen turned Jared toward him. “No, Jared,” he said, pointing at Jared’s heart, “this is what I fell in love with.” Then he pointed to Jared’s head. “And this. Your big heart and your mind. Honestly, even though I loved you from the beginning, my favorite times with you weren’t when you were the life of the party, but when it was just you and me, talking about everything, or nothing. Sharing our dreams, discussing music, art, a future together. I loved you then and I love you now, you’re the same guy, Jare.” 

“Big heart and big head, got it,” Jared joked. 

Jensen rolled his eyes. “And terrible sense of humor,” he teased, stepping up to kiss Jared’s cheek.

The Ackles family arrived the next morning, and the mothers took to the kitchen to prep for the following day’s meal. Jared, Jensen, Josh, and Jeff were watching a movie, while the Dads went golfing and the sisters were in the basement watching chick flicks and painting their nails. Jared’s family toned it down a bit after seeing how Jared became a bit withdrawn and the Ackles family was more of a calmer group by nature. Surprisingly, even though there were more people there, Jared felt more comfortable than he did when it was just his family. Jensen told him it was probably because the focus was just on him, and now they had other people to distract them.

Thanksgiving was a bit more rowdy. In addition to their two families, Chris, Steve, Jason, Rob, Gen, and Chad were there - the others having family obligations or prior plans. Sherry’s attention was directed mostly at Gen; she adored the tiny brunette and it helped to divert the attention away from Jared some. They shared an enormous meal, and just as much dessert, all followed by a few drinks and of course, the Cowboys game. Jared and Jensen both wore their Dallas jerseys and cheered on their team with their family and friends. 

Around ten, everyone left saying they would be back the following day. 

Friday, all the women went shopping. The guys hung around and played video games and relaxed, and then on Saturday, their families flew home. Before they left, Gerry had taken Jared aside and asked him about the upcoming trial and what his plans were. 

“I haven’t told Jensen yet, but, Dad, I’m going. I have to. I know Jensen doesn’t agree but I need this.” 

His father understood, but he explained to Jared that Jensen’s biggest fear was losing Jared. “Son, He was completely broken when you pushed him away and he knew the pain you were in. He just doesn’t want either of you to have to go through that again.” 

Jared nodded. He knew that things hadn’t been easy for Jensen. He also knew that to truly get past this he needed that closure. 

Sunday was a lazy day. Jared and Jensen slept until noon, it would have been longer but Sadie needed to be let out and was hungry, and she let her daddies know it. Jared chuckled as he followed her to the kitchen. “Alright miss attitude, I’m sorry,” he said bending down to pet her while she ate. 

She huffed at him, which made him laugh. He let her out into the back yard and shuffled back up to bed. He stopped in the doorway; Jensen lay there in nothing but his dark blue boxers, the sheet only covering his thighs. He was laying on his back, arms splayed out at his sides, and his legs parted, almost inviting Jared to crawl between them. Jared’s mouth watered and his dick hardened. 

He slowly crept to the bed, his decision made. He crawled on top of Jensen slowly, leaving a trail of kisses up his stomach and chest. He kissed his neck and nibbled his ear. 

“Mornin’,” Jensen’s deep gravelly voice spoke. 

“Actually, it’s afternoon,” Jared teased. “Jensen?” Jared said, his voice nervous and shaky.

“Yeah Jare? You okay?” Jensen asked opening one eye, squinting at him. 

“Yeah, I uh, have to ask you something,” Jared whispered kissing Jensen’s jaw, and back down his neck. 

“If you expect me to put any thought into this answer you should stop doing that,” Jensen teased, wrapping his arms around Jared and pulling him down for a proper kiss. 

“Jen, I think I want to try something, but only if you’re okay with it,” Jared said, a shyness to his voice. 

Jensen opened his eyes fully, concern replacing the growing lust. “What’s up babe?” Jensen asked. 

“I, uh, know you’ve only bottomed twice with me, do… do you like it?” 

Jensen looked in Jared’s eyes, he had a pretty good idea where this conversation was going, but he also knew he needed to tread lightly. “Yes, Jared, with you it was amazing. I didn’t really like it before you. I guess the couple times I did it before they were doing it wrong.” He snorted. He looked seriously at Jared. “Why are you asking me Jay?” 

Jared bent down to kiss Jensen again, deeper this time. “Because, I am not ready for anything to be up my ass just yet, but… God, Jensen, I want to fuck you.” He groaned, pressing his erection against Jensen’s thigh. Jensen went from half hard to rock hard instantly. 

“Yeah?” he asked. “You sure baby? We, we don’t have to, I can suck you off.” His voice trembled. And he would, but damn it if he didn’t want Jared inside him right the fuck now. 

“No Jen, as much as I love your mouth on me I need this. I need you. I want to feel you, I want to be buried inside you.” Jared’s voice was deep with lust. Jensen’s dick was throbbing it was so hard.

“Okay, babe, do it. Take me.” 

Jensen was always the aggressive one in bed, except the one time on his graduation when they fucked in the bathroom stall, which happened to be one of the two times he bottomed for Jared. Now, Jared kissed him hard and dirty, his hands teasing their way down Jensen’s body. Jensen’s body was trembling with anticipation as Jared pulled his boxers off agonizingly slowly. Jared then removed his own boxers and reached past Jensen to the nightstand to grab the lube they kept there. 

His hands were shaking. Jensen kissed his chest, nibbling his nipple and Jared’s breath hitched. He clicked open the cap and squeezed a good sized dollop onto his fingers. Jensen spread his legs wide and Jared lifted one of them, hooking it over his shoulder. He loved that Jensen was flexible. 

Just as Jared’s fingers circled Jensen’s rim, Jensen whispered, “Go slow Jay, it’s been a while, and uh, you know I haven’t done this much.” 

Jared faltered. “You want me to stop?” He froze, his eyes were almost black with desire flashing with nervousness.

“Fuck no, don’t stop. I want you so bad, Jared.” Jensen almost whined. Jared nodded, biting his lower lip between his teeth and looking down to focus on what he was doing. Slowly, he prepped Jensen, fingers moving slow but firm as he opened him up, gaining confidence with gasp and moan caused from the stroke of his fingers. When Jensen begged him, told him he was ready, Jared slicked up his cock and blew out a slow breath. 

He positioned the head of his cock against Jensen’s tight hole and began to breach the opening slowly. Jensen bit back a groan; it burned and Jared was huge. He took a deep breath as Jared said, “Need you to relax Jen.” 

Jared’s voice was deep and dripping with need. Jensen nodded, exhaled loudly, and let the leg that wasn’t hooked over Jared’s shoulder fall to the side. Jared pushed in further, taking it slow, inching his way in stopping each little bit to let Jensen adjust to the intrusion. 

“Fuck, you’re so tight.” Jared moaned. “Not gonna last long at all.” 

Jensen was taking deep, steadying breaths as Jared pushed in further, rocking his body a little, and pulling out a tiny bit before pushing back in just a little further. Finally, he was all the way in. He paused, waiting for a signal from Jensen to move. 

“Okay, Jare. Okay,” Jensen said, biting his lip. He felt like he was being split open. The only other times they did this was fast and dirty and they were both so horny and pressed for time. This time, Jensen felt every bit of Jared stretching him open, slowly and at first, painfully. His dick deflated some from the pain, but Jared started to move, slowly easing out and then pushing back in. He adjusted Jensen’s leg over his shoulder and twisted his hips as he sunk back in, hitting Jensen’s prostate.

“Oh FUCK!” Jensen cried out, his dick instantly interested again. 

Jared began a slow, steady pace, twisting his hips as he pushed in to hit that sweet spot inside of Jensen on every thrust. “Faster, Jay,” Jensen moaned. 

Jared obliged, fucking into him deep and hard, picking up the pace. “Oh my fucking God Jensen, holy shit you feel so fucking good!” Jared drawled. 

“Yeah, Jared, your huge cock feels so fucking good inside me, feel so full. You’re so fucking hot,” Jensen called out and began rocking up as Jared fucked into him. Jensen reached up to Jared’s neck pulling him down into a bruising kiss and grinded his hips when Jared was balls deep inside of him. 

“Oh shit, Jensen. Fuck, I’m gonna cum soon baby, I’m so close.” Jared reached down to grasp Jensen’s leaking cock in his hand and stroked him as he started pounding into Jensen, hitting his prostate with every stroke.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna -- JARED, OH FUCK JARED!” Jensen shouted as he came so hard he saw stars. He was just about to black out from the intensity of the orgasm when he heard Jared scream his name and felt him pulse inside him. 

Jensen was awakened by Jared with a warm cloth, wiping his belly, neck and even his chin. Then he very delicately ran the cloth across Jensen’s sore hole, holding it there for a minute to soothe him. “Did I hurt you?” Jared asked, panic in his voice. 

There was a dopey smile on Jensen’s face, “Do I look hurt to you, babe?” Jensen giggled. Jared smiled brightly at him, he was glowing. “My God, you’re beautiful,” Jensen sighed.

“You’re just saying that cuz you just came really hard, you’re still high from your orgasm.” Jared smiled shyly. 

“No, I’m saying that because you are beautiful. I’m gonna marry the most beautiful man on the planet.” 

Jared ducked his head down in the crook of Jensen’s neck. “No you’re not, Jen, I am,” he whispered kissing his cheek lightly, 

They curled up in each other’s arms, Jared cleared his throat. “So uh, happy anniversary.” 

Jensen’s eyes popped open. “Oh shit, Jared! That’s right! Happy anniversary.” Jensen sat up, looking down at his fiance. “Jare, you didn’t think I forgot, did you?” 

The look of disappointment on his face told Jensen that Jared did think that. He got out of bed and disappeared into the walk in closet, coming back with a flat, gift-wrapped box. Jared opened it and found a scrapbook. The front of it said **Year One**. The first page had a sleeve from the coffee shop where they met and glued on, in Jensen’s handwriting was a piece of paper that said, “Today I met the man of my dreams. I went on a date with someone else, but couldn’t stop thinking about him. He’s the most gorgeous guy I’ve ever met. I hope I see him again.” 

Their anniversary wasn’t a year from the day they met, but Jensen felt it was important to add that in there. Jared flipped the page and there were pictures, ticket stubs from movie dates, concerts, and other small things that he never knew Jensen had kept. On every few pages there was an entry that must have come from Jensen’s journal. One page had the sheet music and song lyrics from the song Jensen wrote Jared. 

He flipped through the memories and stopped at one long journal entry. 

_I feel like I’ve loved him forever. I knew right away that I was in love with him, but today I made the decision to ask him to marry me. Our friends and family will think I’m crazy because it’s so soon, but love doesn’t have a time limit. I fell in love with him in the first twenty minutes I knew him and I know without a doubt I will love him forever. I’m asking his mom and dad for permission to marry him, for as untraditional as we are, I think this tradition is important. I hope they say yes... I’m doing it anyway, but it would be nice to have their blessing._

_Man, I can’t believe how much I love Jared. I never knew it was possible to love someone so much. I love waking up with him in my arms, I love the taste of his lips on mine, I love the way his body feels against mine, I LOVE the way it feels to be inside him. Man, nothing beats that. Nothing has ever felt more right. He’s the love of my life and I will marry him. I can’t wait to spend forever with him. I can’t wait to be buried inside him on our wedding night, and every night after that. He’s my whole world._

_I hope he says yes._

Jensen had forgotten about that entry; he had been making the scrapbook since they started getting serious and had planned on giving it to him on their anniversary from the beginning. 

Jared had tears in his eyes as he stared at the words in front of him and he sighed before continuing to flip through the book. He got to the end, where it had pictures that were just taken on Thanksgiving, pictures of their new home, of Sadie and of their families. Jared closed the scrapbook and pulled Jensen into his arms.

“It’s perfect, thank you.” 

Jensen sighed as he hugged him back. He felt like an asshole, he knew that entry was bothering Jared. As sweet as it was about wanting to marry him, it was also about fucking him. 

Jared said, “I really love it Jen, seriously stop looking at me like that.” 

Jensen swallowed hard. “I forgot about that entry Jared, I should have looked through the book again before giving it to you and taken it out.” 

Jared huffed, “Why, Jensen? It’s about you wanting to marry me, and it’s about how amazing our sex life was. I know how much you loved fucking me, man, I’m just-- I’m sorry I can’t give that to you yet. I want to be able to. I really do, I just-” 

Jensen put his finger over Jared’s lips. “Jared, yes, our sex life was amazing, but you know what babe? It _still_ is, it’s just a little different now. But you can’t tell me that what we just did wasn’t fucking mind blowing, because it was. So, yeah, it might have changed, but I don’t love it any less.” 

It looked as if Jensen had just lifted the world off Jared’s shoulders. Jared sighed heavily, “Yeah?” he asked. 

“Yeah, I swear,” Jensen replied. He sat for a moment before asking, “Jare?”

“Yeah?” Jared replied.

“You didn’t have sex with me just ‘cause you thought that’s what I wanted, did you? For our anniversary?” 

Jared shook his head. “Honestly, no. I didn’t plan on it. I just came up from letting Sadie out and I was watching you sleep-“ 

“Creep.” 

“Shut up,” Jared laughed. “Anyway, you just looked so gorgeous and for the first time in a long time I just _wanted_ I had to have you.” 

Jensen blushed and Jared smiled softly at him. 

“Glad I can still make you do that,” Jared said, stroking Jensen’s face with the back of his hand. After a moment, Jared got up. “I actually do have a gift for you, too.” 

He went to the guest room where it was hidden and brought in a large box with a bow on it. Jensen opened it and found a leather briefcase with his initials embroidered in silver.

“Thought you could use something more grown up for teaching.” Jared shrugged, feeling insecure about his gift. 

Jensen lit up. “I love it, Jared! Thank you, it’s actually perfect. I was thinking about buying one!” He ran his and over the soft leather. 

Jared said, “I love the scrapbook Jensen, but tell me one thing... When did you grow a vagina?” 

Jensen smacked him with a pillow. “I knew you’d be a dick about it, but I also knew you’d love it because it’s something girly you would do.” Jared laughed. 

He and Jensen enjoyed the day together, but Jared knew he had to tell Jensen he would be going to the trial and that it would ruin their otherwise perfect anniversary. After they ate dinner, they were cuddled up on the couch watching Captain America, with the soft argument of Jensen saying, “Chris Evans is pretty hot.” and Jared replying “Hemsworth is hotter.” 

He was too content then, just relaxing and enjoying their peaceful evening together. When they stood together brushing their teeth, Jared knew he was putting it off. As they crawled into bed he sighed. “Jen, I have to tell you something.” 

Jensen tensed immediately. He knew by Jared’s tone it wasn’t going to be good. “What’s up?” he asked. 

“So, you’re not going to like this, and I don’t need you to like it, but... I need you back me on this.” 

Jensen sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “You’re going to testify.” His voice was low and even, no hint of anger to it, very matter of face. 

“Yes, I… Jensen, I have to,” Jared explained. “You may not understand, but I need the closure. I need to finish this and do my part in sending that bastard to jail. I know Morgan said his letter would be enough to excuse me, and because my… my incident was so fresh the other victims may not blame me for it, but I can’t do that. 

“I know I can’t promise you that it won't effect me, but I can promise to continue with my therapy, with our therapy, and that I will do my best not to push you away again. I… I need you, Jensen.”

Jensen just nodded, finding Jared’s hand on the bedsheets and giving it a squeeze. “What time does it start?”

“Tuesday… Ten AM… why?”

Jensen sighed, giving him an exasperated look. The fact that Jared already when and where meant Pellegrino already knew his decision and that by now, Jared really wouldn’t be able to back out of this. “Because, Jared, I may not like it, I may be worried and scared shitless over you facing him in that courtroom, but I will be damned if I’m not with you every step of the way. I will sit in that courtroom and I will be there with you. But, just for the record, I hate this.”

Jared flung himself on Jensen, knocking him over on the bed. “I love you so much, you’re so fucking incredible, Jensen!” Jared gasped between the kisses he planted all over his fiance’s face, his voice thick with emotion. 

“Yeah, I know,” Jensen mumbled back, fingers squeezing onto Jared’s hips and holding him close. 

“And so humble, too,” Jared teased.

He knew in his heart that this was the last thing Jared wanted to do, wanted him to do, but it meant the world to him that Jensen had stuck by his word, stuck by his side, and Jared had never felt more supported.


	15. Chapter 15

Tuesday morning, Jared was very quiet as he and Jensen dressed in their suits for the trial. They rode in silence to the courthouse and, much to their surprise, were greeted by Dr. Morgan, Chad, Gen, Danneel, Chris, Misha, Rob, Jason, Steve, Sophia, and Mike. Jensen’s jaw dropped

“What the hell are you guys doing here?” he asked.

“Moral support,” Gen answered, as if were obvious.

Chris added, “I’m here to make sure you don’t jump the stand and beat the shit out of that son of a bitch.”

Jensen snorted. “As much as I would like to, I would rather not be the one who ends up in jail.”

They look at Dr. Morgan. “I’m actually here as a witness for prosecution. As Jared’s psychiatrist, they are putting me on the stand instead of Jared, at my request.”

“Thanks, Doc,” Jensen and Jared both said simultaneously.

The group made their way into the courtroom and sat down behind the prosecuting attorney in the front row. Jared also noticed a couple other guys and one girl who had the same determined look on their faces as him. They nodded at one another, a silent camaraderie between them.

Stephen Amell was led into the courtroom by an officer and sat at his table in the courtroom, looking smug and indignant. At first,  
Jared couldn’t look at him. He stared at the floor. Jensen took his hand and squeezed it gently.

“You wanna go, you just say the word,” he whispered. Jared shook his head. He had to get through this.

The whole courtroom stood when the judge entered, then the attorneys gave their opening statements.

The day was long and exhausting. Witnesses for both sides was called to the stand and answered the questions asked of them. Dr. Morgan gave a detailed description of Jared’s mental health when he first evaluated him after the attack, and his doctors from the hospital were questioned of his injuries. It was embarrassing for Jared to sit there with his friends and listen to them talk about his body, his most private parts, being put out there for the public.

He glanced at Stephen a few times. The man sat there, unbothered by everything being said about him.

They took a recess midway through the day. Everyone was looking at Jared to see how he was doing. He held his head high, even though he was humiliated that his friends had to hear from doctors and police officers a full account of what happened to him and the injuries he sustained. Jensen pulled him aside while they were waiting for the courtroom to open again.

“They already knew, Jare,” he said softly.

Jared looked in Jensen’s bright green eyes. “Huh?”

Jensen leaned closer to him, grabbing his hand and giving his fingers a tight squeeze. “I can see your face, the way you can’t look anyone in the eye… they already knew what happened, they were there when you were taken to the hospital, babe. And no one here is judging _you_. You’re so strong, I’m so proud of you,” he said placing a chaste kiss on Jared’s lips.

Jared nodded. He didn’t know how to respond to that.

They opened the courtroom back up to begin the trial again. It was time for Stephen to take the stand. Jared held his breath as the man who attacked him placed his hand on the bible and swore to tell the truth. It was the first time Jared looked at him, really looked at him, and Stephen was looking right back at him. Jared squeezed Jensen’s hand without realizing it, and Jensen held him a little tighter.

Jensen was glaring daggers at the man. He wanted nothing more than to be left alone in a room with that monster. Stephen first tried to deny attacking Jared, but the prosecutor worded the questions just right and he tripped him up. Once he had his opening, he pushed and pushed until Stephen admitted what he had done.

There was no remorse, and he stared at Jared as he admitted to beating and raping him. Jared glared back at him, refused to avert his eyes. He wasn’t going to let this man scare him anymore. He wasn’t going to let him control his life anymore.

In that moment Jared took his life back.

The jury took no time to deliberate. They found Stephen Amell guilty for first degree rape, sodomy, assault and battery, attempted murder, maiming, and four other counts of rape. The hearing for sentencing was scheduled and Stephen was led out the back of the courtroom and back to prison.

Everyone filed out of the courtroom, said their goodbyes, and went their separate ways for the night. Jared was quiet the whole drive home. Jensen was beginning to worry as he watched Jared sit there with his jaw clenched and his hands balled into fists. They got home and Jensen followed Jared silently to their bedroom where he began to pull off his suit, then made his way into the bathroom and started the shower. That’s when Jensen heard the broken sobs coming from the bathroom.

He stripped down quickly and without a second thought climbed into the shower with Jared and just pulled him into his arms. Jared went willingly. He wept in Jensen’s embrace, letting it all out. He was finally letting it go.

 

**A month later**

They were getting ready to celebrate their second Christmas together. With how busy they’d been, along with everything that had happened, they decided to spend a quiet Christmas alone at home. They promised their families they would come down to Texas the following year and thankfully, weren’t met with much resistance.

After the trial, Jared did withdraw a bit. But, it wasn’t like before. Instead, it was like he took a step back and evaluated everything that had happened to him. It wasn’t long before he was laughing and smiling again, more like himself than he had been since before that fateful day.

Stephen Amell was sentenced to twenty-five years in the state penitentiary. Jared did get the closure he needed; he told Jensen and Dr. Morgan that he was glad he went, glad he looked his attacker in the eye and stood his ground as he stared him down.

Jared started working out again, running every morning with Sadie and lifting weights a few nights a week.

Jensen certainly wasn’t complaining.

Their sex life continued to thrive, Jensen bottoming for Jared, but slowly he started taking back the control in the bedroom. Jared would tease him and call him a toppy bottom, a bossy bottom, to which Jensen would smack him with a pillow or shove him off the bed. Jared’s confidence was growing and he started to invite his friends around more. He even grabbed Gen in a tight hug when they went Christmas shopping, and thanked her for being such a great best friend. She cried and he teased her. Things were getting back to normal.

Almost.

Jared didn’t tell Jensen, but he had been preparing and determined to get their sex life back to the way it was. He knew Jensen didn’t mind bottoming, but he also knew that Jensen really did prefer to top. Truthfully, Jared preferred to bottom, at least since he’d been with Jensen.

For the weeks leading up to Christmas, Jared had started fingering himself, seeing if he could stand anything up there. It took a few tries, then it took even more before he actually started to feel good doing it. He bought a small toy, to see how that felt, and once he was comfortable with that he decided to surprise Jensen.

It was Christmas Eve, they had just spent the evening at Rob and Jason’s having dinner and jamming, and made it home around eleven thirty.

Jared was already showered and in bed when Jensen came in. He’d let Sadie out one last time for the night and refilled her water bowl. Jensen looked at Jared, who seemed a bit tense lying there, and assumed Jared was in his boxers under the covers ready for bed. He went to take a quick shower and came to bed in his green silk boxers. He jokingly called them his Christmas boxers, much to the amusement of Jared if his eye roll was anything to go by.

Jensen flicked off the light, slid into bed beside Jared, and pulled him close. “Jared, are you naked!?” Jensen asked, stunned and instantly turned on.

Jared smiled at him and rolled over to face him. He pushed Jensen down and rolled on top of him, beginning to kiss him like his life depended on it.

“Damn, if I knew you were horny I would have come to bed much sooner,” Jensen panted between devouring kisses.

Jared smiled and peeled Jensen’s boxers off of him in one swift move. He kissed down Jensen’s body, nipping at his freckled skin all the way down. He took Jensen’s stiff cock in his hand and jerked it a couple times, eliciting a moan from Jensen before licking up his shaft.

Jensen was writing, pleading for Jared to fuck him. Jared took his cock in his mouth sucking him all the way down. Jensen cried out, “Holy fuck! Please Jare, need you baby.”

Jared kissed his way back up Jensen’s body and Jensen spread his legs, waiting for Jared to settle between them. He was very surprised when Jared pulled the lube out from under his pillow where he had it waiting for Jensen to come to bed. Jensen chuckled between his quick shallow breaths.

“Someone was prepared,” Jensen teased.

“You have no idea.” Jared growled.

“Come on Jay, you’re killin me,” Jensen whined.

Jared smiled down at Jensen, uncapped the lube, and spread it generously on Jensen’s leaking cock.

“Wha-what are you doin’ Jared?” Jensen’s voice was wrecked, he gasped when Jared straddled him and lined his cock up to Jared’s hole. “Jare, fuck, are you sure?”

Jared didn’t answer with words. He just winked at Jensen and slowly slid down his shaft. Jensen let out a sound that couldn’t have been human. Jared chuckled.

“Don’t tell me you didn’t miss this,” Jared said breathlessly. “Because I know I damn sure did.”

He worked himself down until he was seated on Jensen’s lap, Jensen was balls deep inside Jared and the look of shock, lust and love spread on his flushed face. Jared slowly started rocking back and forth before sliding slowly up and down Jensen’s cock.

“Holy fuckin’ hell, Jared, feels so good baby. And fuck, yes, I missed this.”

Jared grinned at him, then leaned down to kiss him, biting his plush bottom lip. Jared rode him gently for a while, just enough to drive Jensen crazy. Then he laid down on top of him and rolled them over.

“I’m giving the reigns back to you Jensen, fuck me like you used to. I can take it.”

Jensen was so turned on he didn’t think twice; he knew Jared wouldn’t offer this, wouldn’t do any of this, if he wasn’t truly ready. He settled in between Jared’s legs and slammed into him.

Jared cried out, “God, yes. Fuck me Jensen!”

Jensen ground his hips as he fucked Jared hard and deep. Jared wrapped his long solid legs around Jensen’s waist and Jensen grabbed his hips, holding him at the angle that would ensure he drilled Jared’s prostate on every thrust, and he did. He was whispering pure filth into Jared’s ear, nibbling on the lobe as he pounded into his fiancé.

“I fucking love you so much, Jared. Fuck, you feel so good, so fucking tight. You’re mine baby, all mine.” He moaned pushing Jared over the edge. Jared came hard, untouched, shooting his load all over his belly and chest. He came so hard there was even some in his hair.

Feeling Jared’s body lose control pushed Jensen over the edge and he pushed hard, coming deep inside of Jared, pulsing and pulsing like a fountain until he collapsed.

“Merry Christmas,” Jensen panted, almost wheezing.

Jared looked up at him and smiled. “Hey, that was my line.”

epilogue

**  
_Two and a half years later._   
**

“I swear, if you don’t stop pacing I’m going to kick your ass! You’re making me nervous!” Gen teased, swatting at Jared.

“ _You_? I’m making _you_ nervous? Do you think he’s here yet? What if he changes his mind?” Jared panicked.

Gen rolled her eyes. “He got here forty-five minutes ago, and from what I understand he’s cool as a cucumber. So why the fuck are you such a nervous wreck? Having second thoughts?” she asked, suddenly concerned.

Jared looked at himself in the mirror, adjusting the bow tie for the third time. “What? God no. I’ve been waiting for this for years! I’m just, I don’t know, I’m nervous! I want to just get through it and _be_ married.”

Gen shook her head. “Jared, you’re marrying the love of your life in about fifteen minutes, the man who has stuck beside you through the best and worst times of your life. Just calm down and enjoy your day.”

She smiled, then added, “Or I will kick your ass.”

He huffed. “Like to see you try, shrimp.”

She smacked his shoulder.

“Ow, what the fuck?” he whined.

“Oh yeah, it would be so hard, you big baby,” she teased. There was a knock on the door and Gen shouted, “That better not be Jensen Ackles!” She cracked the door open to find Jason standing there.

“Damn munchkin, calm your tits,” Jason teased. “I have a message from Jensen. He said, tell Jared to take a deep breath, have a glass of wine, and calm the fuck down. Also, that he’ll see him in less than fifteen minutes.”

Gen laughed and Jared closed his eyes and took a deep breath, releasing it before chuckling. “Guess he does know me pretty well, huh?” Jared smiled.

Jensen used to be the one who got nervous around a lot of people, who leaned more to the neurotic side. Teaching high school kids and playing the occasional gig with Jason and Rob, or Chris and Steve, cured him of most of that. Unless he was on stage or in front of his students, Jensen was still pretty shy with Jared being the more outgoing of the two.

It had taken Jared almost a year to really be Jared again, the happy-go-lucky, overgrown child. Carefree and lighthearted. Even after three years there were still times that the darkness crept in, but with the help of his friends, his doctor, and his fiancé, he always pushed it away.

Jared graduated the previous spring and over the last year he’d been working the midday show on LA’s biggest Rock radio station. Midday was where they put beginners or people on their way out the door, but it was a stepping-stone. It didn’t hurt that his first on air interview was with Kaleo.

Jensen was still teaching at the high school, having earned his master’s degree. He was looking into teaching positions at UCLA in the music department, but they were hard to come by. He liked his job at the high school well enough, though. His colleagues were alright and most of the students were good. He even got roped into coaching the JV baseball team, which he secretly loved even though he bitched about it constantly.

He and Jared were busy. It took them a while to figure things out and make time for each other, and only when things finally seemed to settle did they set their wedding date. The one thing that never changed in the three and a half years they were together, was they were still deliriously in love with each other.

“This idea of not seeing each other before the wedding was stupid, who even thinks of that dumb shit?” Jared complained to Jason and Gen.

Jason laughed. “Hey you dumb moose, you did. And I quote, ‘It’ll be romantic, besides it’s tradition!’”

Jared gave Jason the finger as his friend ducked out of the room to get back to Jensen.

Their wedding party was a motley crew. Jared and Jensen shared all of their friends, so deciding who was on whose side for the wedding was comical. It wasn’t how they had discussed it when they got engaged, as friendships grew and changed over the years. Instead, they ended up just trying to make the numbers even. Their siblings were in the wedding, Jason was Jensen’s best man as they had become best friends over the last few years, and Gen was Jared’s ‘best bitch’ - the wording was her choice. Chad was butt hurt that he didn’t get to be best man, but Gen put him in his place real quick. He settled for groomsman and Christian was one of Jensen’s.

They had a joint bachelor party, which was basically a party just like they normally threw only with more bar hopping and at some point a male strip club, which Gen and Danneel enjoyed more than most of their gay friends. And now, here they were, getting ready to take their vows.

Jared calmed down and Gen snickered at how Jensen always knew what to say or do to get Jared to do whatever he wanted.

Together, they had decided no one would be “walking down the aisle”, so when it was time, their wedding party filed up to the altar to wait. Both groom stepped out from the rooms on either side and met in front of the minister.

“We are gathered here today to witness the marriage of Jensen Ross Ackles and Jared Tristan Padalecki,” the minister announced. He read a poem Jensen and Jared picked about love and a bible verse their mothers insisted on. When it came time for the vows the minister said, “Jared and Jensen decided to write their own vows. Jared, please begin.”

Jared looked into Jensen’s eyes, their hands joined. “Jensen, I will never forget the moment I first saw you when you walked into the coffee shop. This beautiful man was hand delivered to me, I thought. We only talked for twenty minutes, but by the time you left for your date, I knew I already loved you.” He leaned around Jensen and looked at Jason and laughed. “Sorry Jason.”

Everyone laughed and Jason winked with a good natured, “It worked out.”

“Anyway, it just took twenty minutes and I knew I loved you. I told Gen that night I met the man I was going to marry. We’ve been through some really tough times, and we made it through. I vow to always hear you out, even when you think I’m not listening. I vow to respect you, even if I don’t always agree with you. I promise to trust you, to believe in you, to have faith in you and in us, and I promise to love you, even during the times when I don’t like you very much.”

Everyone chuckled again.

“Most importantly, I promise to never give up on you because you never gave up on me.”

Jensen wiped the tears from his eyes, gripping Jared’s hands tightly as he spoke. “Jared, I also won’t ever forget our first meeting. Here I thought, ‘Wow, Chris really knows me well, he found me the perfect man’!” He turned to Jason and stage whispered, “Sorry Jason.”

This time Rob yelled out from behind Jared, “It worked out!” and held up his wedding band.

Jensen grinned and continued, “You’re right, though, it was only twenty minutes of our lives, but I knew you were it for me. Once we finally got together, I knew I had to hold on to you, that you were something special. I’ll never forget our first Christmas together, just me and you in that apartment for days. I vow to you that I will always remember where we started, I won’t forget what it was like not to have you because it honestly sucked. I vow to never let our careers, friends, or anything be more important than our marriage. I promise to always make time for you, because I know what it’s like to have time without you. I promise to listen to you, and hear you out, even when your ideas are insane and you’re driving me crazy. I vow to love you through whatever good and bad comes our way. We’ve been through some storms together, and there will be more; I vow to be your shelter in those storms. I promise that I will love you until the day I die, and every day beyond.”

The minister looked at Gen and Jason. “The rings.”

Jared and Jensen slipped the rings on each other’s fingers repeating the minister’s words and finally he said, “By the power vested in me by the state of Texas, I now pronounce you husbands. You may kiss.”

Jensen smiled up at Jared and wiped the tears from his eyes. Jared leaned down. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed. Their family and friends cheered, there were tears of joy and they turned and walked down the aisle and to start their lives together, as Jensen and Jared Ackles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it guys! But there IS a timestamp already written. Just need my amazing 2nd beta/artist to not be so crazy busy with real life so she can work her magic. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed the journey.  
> P.S. time stamp might have j2 babies

**Author's Note:**

> feedback fuels the fire.


End file.
